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  1. #1
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Default 1. Came to Say "Hi!" 2. What makes someone be Perceived as Genuine?



    It's been a while. I've missed all your intelligent thoughts, your caring hearts and have spent many a Friday evening weeping over the fact that I don't see you anymore.

    (Seriously, though, I've had many a thought that, "hmmm.... toonia could expand this idea further" or "cafe would give a good perspective on this" or "jennifer has totally lived through this part already and can explain the future for me" or "eco would find this fascinating" or "meta would love to flesh this idea out"... and I would list many more names but then I would begin to leave people out.)

    Question:
    *What makes people be perceived as genuine? Is it their command of Fe? Or, opposingly, their complete lack of social skills so that you know they are "being real" (because they are inept at anything else)?

    *Why do we believe some people but not others?

    edit: and YAY for heart being able to come back!
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Sincerity lies in one's actions being congruent with one's words.

  3. #3
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    What about initial impressions where there really are no actions to observe?
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    You can't really tell, unless you have had a lot of experience with master manipulators, and you are able to recognize how they are pulling your strings by the way you react to them.

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Great to see you again!

    'Genuine' to me is based on how closely one's persona reflects their true character and emotions.

    Sometimes the least genuine people are the best at making an impression of genuineness. I guess that would come from having or being able to mimic well-developed Fe.

    That's just a guess. I'm interested to hear others' takes on it.

    Edit: wait, make that Fi. Fe is more likely to do what is appropriate, which may or may not be genuine.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #6
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    Empathy.

    Listening/appearance of listening. We tend to distrust folks who talk too much. Quietness (not in terms of shyness) gives an air of reliability somehow.

    Body language.

    Beyond first impressions. Agree with what Dana said. I'd look for consistency of actions and not so much words.

  7. #7
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    This is actually something I've studied extensively.. manipulation.

    When someone wishes to deceive.. they will feel you out to discover what you want to hear. Then they will subtly drop names, flatter you, or do exactly what you want them to, and all of a sudden they will be in your favor. It is the oldest trick in the book, but it works.

    My advice? Pay very close attention to how you respond to people. If you all of a sudden feel very strongly for someone, or if you find yourself changing or acting out of character, STOP and ask yourself WHY? It will probably be because you are being yanked around by an extremely insincere individual.

  8. #8
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    The only thing that makes people appear real is if they're not computer-generated.

    Anyway, to me a genuine person tells things about me that I don't like to hear. If people are tactful or tell me things that I like to hear, then I never believe them. This tends to lead me to ask people the same exact question in hopes that I'll dig up the honest truth.

    I'm not really clear what you mean by genuine.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Sincerity lies in one's actions being congruent with one's words.
    Welcome back! I was going to say what Dana said. I don't know how I know, but now I can detect BS from a mile away. I have developed this, though, after being lied to hundreds of times by others (I took my rose-colored glasses off a long time ago). :sad:
    -Sandy
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    There is love... in the red letters
    There is truth... in the red letters

  10. #10
    Senior Member Chaselation's Avatar
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    I find sincerity in honesty. The more brutal sometimes the better. If your in a position where your expected to say x but are thinking/feeling y... what is your answer? The sincere people say y even if it might be perceived by others as the wrong answer.

    To the op... How can you tell in a complete stranger? I think with some people you will be able to tell right away. They will march to their own beat and it will be very apparent. For others making a provocative statement you believe they would be apposed to and seeing their reaction has been a good test for me.

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