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  1. #101
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    what mr highlander said and...

    - no one is saying sensors don't suffer from absentmindedness sometimes. some Ns are pointing out that there is a frequency/intensity of absentmindedness that impacts upon our daily lives so much so that we've consciously thought about how annoying it is.
    - if it wasn't affecting our lives very much would we bother giving it airtime? losing things is not a particularly sexy/interesting thing to discuss or think about.
    - no one said absentmindedness is the most significant defining characteristic of being an intuitive.

    this thread is for Ns to wax lyrical about annoying N stuff. little things, big things, whatever. so, make your own thread about how it sucks to be a sensor because you have to listen to Ns talk self-indulgent rubbish - or make yourself useful and go find my keys.
    You're cute.

  2. #102
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    what mr highlander said and...

    - no one is saying sensors don't suffer from absentmindedness sometimes. some Ns are pointing out that there is a frequency/intensity of absentmindedness that impacts upon our daily lives so much so that we've consciously thought about how annoying it is.
    - if it wasn't affecting our lives very much would we bother giving it airtime? losing things is not a particularly sexy/interesting thing to discuss or think about.
    - no one said absentmindedness is the most significant defining characteristic of being an intuitive.

    this thread is for Ns to wax lyrical about annoying N stuff. little things, big things, whatever. so, make your own thread about how it sucks to be a sensor because you have to listen to Ns talk self-indulgent rubbish - or make yourself useful and go find my keys.
    I'm tempted to make a thread about how much it sucks to be a sensor because we feel pain and it hurts, which is obviously a sensor trait because sensing means you sense and N means you have your head in the air so you're not focused on your body, and all the sensors I know feel pain so...

    Do you see how ridiculous this is? I don't understand how it's a difficult concept that lots of Ns doing something doesn't make it an N trait. Lots of Ns are absentminded, absolutely!! When you see that lots of Ss are also absentminded (there's several of us right in this thread!), it means that it is not something N-specific. Besides, how many ENJs do you know that are absentminded, especially compared to SPs?? Even INJs don't really have that reputation. I notice that most of the people posting about this trait are Ne doms or at least auxiliary (here and elsewhere).

    I'm not trying to rain on the complaining parade, and I'm not whining about being discriminated against or anything like that. I just hate to see inaccurate thought propogated, particularly when it's something that describes me. Most particularly when it's something that affects my life many times a day in a negative fashion but it's not possible that I'm like that, because I'm a sensor. Like I said, I sincerely wish just being a sensor made me automatically able to not lose things and not forget things. Even just being reduced to the "average" level of forgetfulness would be totally kickass.

    -end of thread-

  3. #103
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Here's the thing though: we have GENUINE differences. Those differences are real. Being told that the things I thought about or cared about weren't "the right things" or "the important things" is a load of crap. So is always being told that you're "weird." I can tell you that the SFJ I talk to now (not my bf, just a guy I talk to regularly) and my ESFJ ex both tease me about being "nerdy."

    Ns get criticized and misunderstood CONSTANTLY IRL, even by people who love them. Of course they're going to vent some of that frustration here, and I don't think it's asking too much to have some controlling SJs butt out in a thread clearly marked, "Real Life Situations Where It Sucks to Be an Intuitive."

    I DEFINITELY don't even have the same strengths as an INTJ (if I am indeed an INFJ) even sharing several of the same letters. WE ARE DIFFERENT AND EXPERIENCE VERY DIFFERENT ISSUES AMONGST THE TYPES. I couldn't even pretend that I'm the same as an INTJ or INTP, because I'm not.

    So then I don't think it's too outrageous for Intuitives to say that, yes, we are different from Sensors.

    ............

    BUT this thread seems excessively filled with Sensors trying to argue how they're discriminated against...in a thread clearly marked REAL LIFE SITUATIONS WHERE IT SUCKS TO BE INTUITIVE.

    Whatever, I don't care, I'm far from the sort of person to "censor" anyone. I'm not annoyed with any one person, and not attacking any particular individual, I'm just expressing my opinion in a sea of other opinions.
    It sort of feels like people are invalidating your experience. They are saying - you're no different because of these things. An intuitive has a lifetime experience of being in a minority and there are impacts of "not being like everyone else". There is no question of it. It especially impacts you when you are young.

    Part of what also might be at play is that some of these things we're talking about are generalizations which are never always correct and there are always exceptions to. Then there are a lot of differences between intuitives as Marm said.

    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    It was a passing thought that I had while I was browsing this thread. Since it was related in some way to comments posted here, I thought it would be better to post it here than start an entirely new one. I didn't mean to say that you personally thought this about SJs, or even that this forum in particular seems to think that about SJs, but that this is even my experience at times when dealing with other SJs -- comments about me similar to those made by your grandfather and his wife, and one of your exes -- both at other forums as well as in real life, and I've even been disappointed in quotes made by supposedly famous SJs. The example I gave was intentionally exaggerated, because I'm increasingly starting to feel that if I don't fit into a mold like that, I'm seen as weird or faulty somehow. And I'm not an N, so I can't just turn around and have the ideal exchange with Ns either. It would be really bleak if this actually is the reality of the majority of SJs and what I can continue to experience in the future, that's all I was getting at.

    & I apologize again. I realize my first post might have been seen as destructive/dismissive and that my replies after that might have been seeming even more so. It was careless and self-absorbed from the beginning, and I made the wrong decision to post it in this thread. I know that now.
    Actually, I really appreciated hearing what you had to say. All these comments from the sensors do make one think.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    You're probably right. I can think of at least one occasion where an INTJ suddenly turned to me very pointedly and said, "You don't like him, do you?" And he was right. I didn't like that guy, but I hadn't said so. It was all body language, I guess, and I suppose I was being watched.

    I get that feeling about INTJs sometimes...like they're watching very intently, but not saying anything, so I have no fucking idea what they're thinking. I find it both extremely intriguing and slightly unnerving.
    Ok and this is one thing that sucks about being an intuitive. I do that kind of thing all the time - to the point of over-interpreting things. My Ni will tell me, "they don't like me" or something like that. It can be especially challenging if you are giving a presentation in front of an audience and you have this oversensitivity to the reactions of people in the audience. You can detect it and are over sensitive to these reactions but aren't quite sure how to react to it in the moment and start to get nervous. I've had that happen.

    I do tend to have a lot of confidence in my intuition, but realize it is not always correct. It baffles me when people say their intuition is always right. Intuition is not perfect.

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I admire (what I suspect are) the N differences. Losing your keys isn't one of them though.
    For the record, I don't lose my keys too much. My shoes on the other hand are a different story.

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I'm tempted to make a thread about how much it sucks to be a sensor because we feel pain and it hurts, which is obviously a sensor trait because sensing means you sense and N means you have your head in the air so you're not focused on your body, and all the sensors I know feel pain so...

    I'm not trying to rain on the complaining parade, and I'm not whining about being discriminated against or anything like that. I just hate to see inaccurate thought propogated, particularly when it's something that describes me. Most particularly when it's something that affects my life many times a day in a negative fashion but it's not possible that I'm like that, because I'm a sensor. Like I said, I sincerely wish just being a sensor made me automatically able to not lose things and not forget things. Even just being reduced to the "average" level of forgetfulness would be totally kickass.

    Re bolded part - nobody ever said that.

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  4. #104
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I'm tempted to make a thread about how much it sucks to be a sensor because we feel pain and it hurts, which is obviously a sensor trait because sensing means you sense and N means you have your head in the air so you're not focused on your body, and all the sensors I know feel pain so...
    Why is it such a horrible thing that we are discussing our N experiences in an online thread, on a website that is specifically made for people to discuss and share their experiences as it pertains to personality? You're making it sound like we went to a website for Auto Mechanics and bothered everyone by talking about musical instruments or something. And you're a mod for crying out loud. What's next? Haight comes and tells us that "sharing intuition stories is out of bounds for this website?" It's such an innocent, lighthearted, goofy subject anyways. We're not discussing religion or politics. It's just a goofy thread. You can make a thread about whatever you want - feel free. And if you say in that thread that "feeling pain" is something you experience a lot of as a sensor, who in the heck am I to question your experience as a sensor?

    And it's not a complaining parade. Even though I used the phrase "situations where it sucks to be intuitive", I created the thread in a lighthearted spirit. Some of these things are funny to us. And, I wouldn't trade my intuition for the world. It's very valuable to me.

    Do you see how ridiculous this is? I don't understand how it's a difficult concept that lots of Ns doing something doesn't make it an N trait. Lots of Ns are absentminded, absolutely!! When you see that lots of Ss are also absentminded (there's several of us right in this thread!), it means that it is not something N-specific. Besides, how many ENJs do you know that are absentminded, especially compared to SPs?? Even INJs don't really have that reputation. I notice that most of the people posting about this trait are Ne doms or at least auxiliary (here and elsewhere).

    I'm not trying to rain on the complaining parade, and I'm not whining about being discriminated against or anything like that. I just hate to see inaccurate thought propogated, particularly when it's something that describes me. Most particularly when it's something that affects my life many times a day in a negative fashion but it's not possible that I'm like that, because I'm a sensor. Like I said, I sincerely wish just being a sensor made me automatically able to not lose things and not forget things. Even just being reduced to the "average" level of forgetfulness would be totally kickass.
    If we just concede the point to you, can we get back to discussing our real life situations where it sucks to be intuitive?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


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  5. #105
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    N is the new Fi.
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  6. #106
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I don't believe being absent-minded and forgetful indicate sensing or intuition.

    To me it seems like if I had a trait or habit that is relatively easy to correct the mark of a well-rounded person who's aware of their shortcomings is to do something to fix that trait. Meaning if I know I tend to misplace my keys I need to consistently put them in a spot I've designated and make that a habit. If I'm forgetful I'm sure there's an app out there for it to help me or I make a list or mark things on a calendar. If I'm absent-minded in what ways am I absent-minded, does it get me into trouble, and how can I fix the parts that get me into trouble?

    As a possible ENJ, I'm not absent-minded, I have a good memory, and I don't lose things very often. If Ni is my auxiliary function I feel like I'm pretty good at communicating it in such a way that it's digestible to people. I tend to try to figure out how to say things two or three different ways so hopefully one will stick. I also try to look for supporting evidence to back up what I communicate and customize it to the person I'm addressing...why it's important and why it should matter to them. No I don't do this perfectly or all the time, but it's a goal of mine.

    Being inquisitive or curious aren't either, although some people are more naturally curious than others but from what I can see it depends on if it's a subject of interest to the person. There are people who are generally curious about anything instead of a focused group of topics.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  7. #107
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I'm sorry I dared to have a disagreeing opinion on what traits sensors have. Now that I'm aware that it's not actually up for discussion, I'll bow out.

    If it wasn't made clear by the fact that highlander is also a mod, I'm obviously not speaking as a mod here - simply sharing my flawed opinions.
    -end of thread-

  8. #108
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I'm tempted to make a thread about how much it sucks to be a sensor because we feel pain and it hurts, which is obviously a sensor trait because sensing means you sense and N means you have your head in the air so you're not focused on your body, and all the sensors I know feel pain so...
    That might be an interesting thread actually. It’s kind of true for me. I mean, I feel pain- but it often gets pointed out to me that I’m grimacing or snapping at people before I realize myself that I’ve got a headache or backache or whatever. I’ve always wondered if it’s N dom related. I’ve been that way since I was little.

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    It sort of feels like people are invalidating your experience. They are saying - you're no different because of these things. An intuitive has a lifetime experience of being in a minority and there are impacts of "not being like everyone else". There is no question of it. It especially impacts you when you are young.
    Yeah, it’s invalidating. It’s almost like telling someone who’s anorexic “well it’s important to me to be thin, too.” I don’t think anyone here is saying that sensors aren’t capable of constantly asking ‘why?’, but it seems like they generally have an easier time putting ‘why?’ questions on the shelf when the questions become inconvenient/interfere with tasks at hand. Being an N often means having silent alarms go off in your head that you can’t turn off until you’ve reconciled whatever information tripped them in the first place. At least, that’s what it’s like with Ni.

    And while growing up, it's hard not to feel like there isn't something kind of wrong with you for having these silent alarms (which no one else seems to have), so it really is kind of invalidating to hear "it's not so different".

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I do tend to have a lot of confidence in my intuition, but realize it is not always correct. It baffles me when people say their intuition is always right. Intuition is not perfect.
    I cringe a little when I hear people go on about how their intuition is never wrong. When NiFe’ers (or FeNi’ers) don’t allow for the reasonable possibility that they’re mistaken, it’s the stuff xNFJ horror stories are made of. And, as Highlander mentioned earlier, it can make ENTJs into monsters too. But I suppose this last part is really more about why it sucks to deal with intuitives than why it sucks to be one.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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  9. #109
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Yeah, it’s invalidating. It’s almost like telling someone who’s anorexic “well it’s important for me to be thin, too.” I don’t think anyone here is saying that sensors aren’t capable of constantly asking ‘why?’, but it seems like they generally have an easier time putting ‘why?’ questions on the shelf when the questions become inconvenient/interfere with tasks at hand. Being an N often means having silent alarms go off in your head that you can’t turn off until you’ve reconciled whatever information tripped them in the first place. At least, that’s what it’s like with Ni.

    And while growing up, it's hard not to feel like there isn't something kind of wrong with you for having these silent alarms (which no one else seems to have), so it really is kind of invalidating to hear "it's not so different".
    I think a reason why some people are taking issue are the examples people are using when it "sucks" to be an intutive. Quite a few people using examples where they were right and no one believed them, or they saw the foolishness of a particular course of action or idea and it later proved to be true, basically giving the impression that their intuition was infallible and no one paid attention to them. No one's saying stuff like I was driving and drifted off and got into a car accident or absent-mindedness caused a situation that messed up something for another person or my intuition was off and lead me to act in a way that I later realized was wrong.

    See what I'm saying?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Yeah, it’s invalidating. It’s almost like telling someone who’s anorexic “well it’s important for me to be thin, too.” I don’t think anyone here is saying that sensors aren’t capable of constantly asking ‘why?’, but it seems like they generally have an easier time putting ‘why?’ questions on the shelf when the questions become inconvenient/interfere with tasks at hand. Being an N often means having silent alarms go off in your head that you can’t turn off until you’ve reconciled whatever information tripped them in the first place. At least, that’s what it’s like with Ni.

    And while growing up, it's hard not to feel like there isn't something kind of wrong with you for having these silent alarms (which no one else seems to have), so it really is kind of invalidating to hear "it's not so different".
    I think a reason why some people are taking issue are the examples people are using when it "sucks" to be an intutive. Quite a few people using examples where they were right and no one believed them, or they saw the foolishness of a particular course of action or idea and it later proved to be true, basically giving the impression that their intuition was infallible and no one paid attention to them. No one's saying stuff like I was driving and drifted off and got into a car accident or absent-mindedness caused a situation that messed up something for another person or my intuition was off and lead me to act in a way that I later realized was wrong.

    See what I'm saying?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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