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  1. #1
    Consulting Detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Default Where to find humans?

    Hi. I am clueless and have just finished school. I only have a few friends (3 at most) who I think will put in any considerable effort or have any considerable desire to contact me for long after school. I'm going to Uni, though on what I'm not yet decided, but I hear this is mostly just listening to lectures and completing tasks in your own time. I would like to meet some new people, but I am kind of bad at getting to know people unless I have a structured communication environment like school. What are good ways to do this out in the real world? I really have no idea what I'm going to do, but I don't want to end up living in solitude as a hermit.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    So let me get this straight, you are starting as a freshman in a university? What country? Living in on-campus dorms?
    Last edited by Keps Mnemnosyne; 10-30-2010 at 12:58 AM. Reason: Because I'm tired and thinking slowly.
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  3. #3
    Ginkgo
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    Well, as you said, you have difficulty establishing connections in places that aren't structured (like school). Most others have the same difficulty, which is why they attend social groups. As you know, social groups don't revolve around miscellaneous interests. What are you interested in?

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    Consulting Detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    I live in Australia and will not be in on-campus dorms.

    My interests, to varying degrees of intensity involve reading, writing, computing, art and design, martial arts, TV and movies and probably some other stuff I can't think of at the moment.
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    "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

    "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts."

  5. #5
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sherlock Holmes View Post
    Hi. I am clueless and have just finished school. I only have a few friends (3 at most) who I think will put in any considerable effort or have any considerable desire to contact me for long after school. I'm going to Uni, though on what I'm not yet decided, but I hear this is mostly just listening to lectures and completing tasks in your own time. I would like to meet some new people, but I am kind of bad at getting to know people unless I have a structured communication environment like school. What are good ways to do this out in the real world? I really have no idea what I'm going to do, but I don't want to end up living in solitude as a hermit.
    Well, for one, university isn't the real world. It's mostly just a bittersweet taste of it.

    Second, it is also one of the BEST places to meet people. Try joining clubs or groups in which you find some interest in, which will give you a lot more structure in college. Talk to students in your classes, try and make study groups, etc. You have a lot of opportunities to meet new people in such an environment than you might after college. I'd recommend living on campus and getting as involved as possible to keep yourself structured and busy.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    Depending on the size of your school some of the groups may be small, but there should be groups devoted to general majors like a history club or a Greenhouse group. For example, at my university there is a few movie clubs some of them small and off-main stream. Others are decent-sized and are quite involved in campus life, in charge of showing for free movies in an auditorium creating a theater-like atmosphere.

    Study groups can also work. And if you have roommates, then that may work (chancy).

    I agree with tawanda that there are a lot of opportunities to meet people and you might have more of a problem of turning people away if you get yourself too heavily involved in the beginning. Although I suggest the latter problem rather than the former of being an unhappy hermit. Happy Hermit, yes, unhappy no.

    Good luck.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

    Peach yogurt is made of love. And gnome kidneys. - Domino

    I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou

  7. #7
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    There are always enough people at a cemetary. Okay, they're all dead and rotten and boney, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to them.


    Edit: I'm sorry, I was being bitchy.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  8. #8
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    You are in the best possible environment for meeting people of both genders who are at the same stage of life as yourself. You will never have an opportunity like this again. If only I knew.....

    The formula for finding friends is actually very simple. Force yourself to talk to your classmates. If you like them, invite them to do something together after class. The last step is essential. Without the individual time, you will always just be acquaintances.

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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Kat View Post
    There are always enough people at a cemetary. Okay, they're all dead and rotten and boney, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to them.


    Edit: I'm sorry, I was being bitchy.
    true

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWcRGRmate0"]...[/YOUTUBE]

    too bad most of you cant understand what they are saying, but maybe you get the idea
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  10. #10
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    I remember learning in high school social studies, that if you live the expected average life span of western society, you will:
    Have some kind of personal contact with 20000-30000 people.
    You will establish life long relationships with 3-6 people on average (not including family)
    with most those relationships being established after the age of 21.

    During our school years, our peers and ourselves, mostly walk down the same roads with the same goals.
    This changes greatly in adulthood.

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