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Thread: Are you shy?

  1. #11
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Depends what you call "shyness". I am socially courageous, yes, so if that's what you mean, in that case I'm not shy. But I do have a lot of trouble in being interested in other people, so that's why some people might call me shy.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  2. #12
    Consulting Detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Kat View Post
    Depends what you call "shyness". I am socially courageous, yes, so if that's what you mean, in that case I'm not shy. But I do have a lot of trouble in being interested in other people, so that's why some people might call me shy.
    That's not shyness. That's (social, not cognitive) introversion!
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  3. #13
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    So I'm introverted because others are boring? That's not fair! They should put more effort in being more interesting!
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  4. #14
    Member Frederico Rogeiro's Avatar
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    Completing my initial approach:

    I think there is a difference between blockades and shyness.
    A blockade is an uncapacity to. An uncapacity to act as you should, because it contradicts your type or it demands us something we've repressed.
    Shyness is a fear of. A fear of being discovered in our natural vulnerability, wich could make us being mistreated or overlooked.

    I note shy people frequantly develop great social skills, as they put a great amount of energy in their defense. Passing successfully that initial fear phase, they become comfortable enough to, in some cases, attack others weaknessies. Like somekind of compensation to their fears.

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    Senior Member Mephistopheles's Avatar
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    Usually not. I'm rather the one who approaches others frequently even if they're strangers(or, in fact, ESPECIALLY strangers). However, in the moment I recognize that I have feelings for someone, I suddenly get nervous and shy.
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  6. #16
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I am quite shy, & used to be painfully shy. I consider it a mild form of social anxiety and do not connect it directly to type. New people intimidate me for some reason. It's not fully a fear of being judged, but that can be part of it, depending on the situation. I don't have a reason really, because it's mostly irrational. I know that I feel tongue-tied, a bit frightened, and generally confused/unsure of what is happening around me, so that I feel like I'm in a daze. My first instinct is to retreat from the situation ASAP. I also get extremely nervous in situations like job interviews or anything where I know I am being judged; I can get visibly shaky and feel sick to my stomach. I also hate when someone introduces me to to someone new & then bails...I feel like I've been thrown to the wolves.

    I think a part of my shyness IS connected to the introversion, only in the sense that as a child, I had little interest in interacting with many people, so I did not polish my social skills. I notice that extroverts often seek people out more, so they flex their skills because of it. I had to cultivate an interest in people...it was not there naturally.

    This lack of interaction has made me a bit clumsy, which sort of reinforces my fear of being awkward, and the fear then keeps me awkward. It's something like a vicious cycle. I would also connect it to Fi in the sense that I'm not particularly good at expressing feeling in a moderate way, which does leave me tongue-tied as I fear I'll be too aloof or too intense. I also find myself puzzled in many conversations with people; why is this interesting to them? I have nothing to say about it because I feel nothing about it. With age, I think some Si has developed where I rely on the same stuff that has worked in the past. It's terribly boring though, and just something like a survival technique; it usually gets the other person talking & relieves pressure from me. It's mostly born from mimicking others' "appropriateness". Now this is the part where I say....& then you say... It's something I hate and yet feel forced to do so as not to be pegged as unfriendly as I was described when I was younger.

    Ne makes me spacey and "out of it", so that added another level of unawareness, and once I became aware of the unawareness, I was self-conscious about it, but only enough to inhibit me. I used to have the sense of being a foreigner in a strange land, an alien, and I still feel that way from time to time. The awareness is now that I am speaking these people's language with an accent, one which some don't find pleasing to the ear.

    As an adult, I am less shy than when I was a child, but I still have a hard time initiating conversations & approaching people. New people still scare me a bit. I ease into conversation with less trouble, although there's no doubt I am awkward & spacey still. The best advice I ever got was to focus so much on the other person, that you "lose" yourself and then just respond naturally, without the hyper-awareness or detachment from the conversation. It also has helped me to see that most people say really stupid things themselves
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  7. #17
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    ^


    Its hard to talk about my shyness as if it was a constant state because it manifests in so many different ways depending on the situation and my mood, and has changed dramatically overtime.

    I'm not as quiet as I used to be. As a child and for much of my teens I was shy in the rather literal sense; being extremely withdrawn and closed mouthed. Now I'm more talkative and open but the deep seated anxiousness remains. When outside my (rather narrowly defined) social element and/or around strangers I still feel anxious, lost and out of place. However, I'm better at dealing with the fear and concealing the awkwardness after years of repeatedly throwing myself in the deep end socially and forcing myself to learn how to swim.
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  8. #18
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frederico Rogeiro View Post
    So, are you?

    Do you think shyness has any thing to do with typology?

    Can it be the sensation of the "S" that's adapting to a new environment? Or the "N" that don't understand it?
    Can it be the unconfort of a "J" that don't domains a circumstance? Or a "P" that's compelled to do it?
    An "I" that's compelled to express himself; an "E" that's compelled to be reserved... A "T" that´s compelled to feel, or a "F" that's compelled to think?

    Can it be a kind of uncomfort due to a contradition with some circumstance?

    I don't think shyness correlates that well with any of the MBTI letters. I think if anything it would most likely correlate somewhat with the neuroticism scale on the big five.

    I think there is a slight correlation between MBTI introversion and shyness but not as much as most people think. You can be a socially comfortable and self-confident introvert. You are at ease interacting with others but your personal preference is to be alone most of the time. You can also be a shy extravert. You are energized by interacting with others and would much prefer social interaction to being alone, yet you still find social situations to be anxiety provoking, particularly with those who don't yet know well.

    As for myself, I'm pretty strong in introversion in the MBTI sense and somewhere in the middle on shyness. I have some mild anxiety when meeting people for the first time but nothing too debilitating. I am able to introduce myself at social gatherings and strike up conversations when appropriate. Oftentimes though, I prefer not to because I just don't have that much of a need to meet new people.
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  9. #19
    Senior Member Mephistopheles's Avatar
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    One link about the topic:
    http://www.viruscomix.com/page509.html
    Is shyness for you like that?
    They say I only think in form of crunching numbers.....
    -Fall Out Boy

  10. #20
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mephistopheles View Post
    One link about the topic:
    http://www.viruscomix.com/page509.html
    Is shyness for you like that?
    I'm not an INTP, so no. I'm actually a fairly good conversationalist (provided I find an interesting topic to talk about), but I'm somewhat afraid to actually approach people.
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