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  1. #11
    Consulting Detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Nah.
    JiNe
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    "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

    "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts."

  2. #12
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moiety View Post
    Me, alone in my room , talking out loud is not communication. What I mean by this is that talking and communicating can be different. Communication is talking and listening.

    When people do both, without fear of judgement, that's communicating.

    I'd also like to make the distinction of communicating and sharing one's experience. Communication is more than that too. It's fusing your train of thought with someone else's. Sharing facts can only be interesting for so long. Sharing thought processes, the WHY of what we think, that's true communication, that enables growing.

    If I say I believe in A, and you say believe in B there is no communication. If I explain why I believe in A and you explain why you believe in B, there is the opportunity for true sharing. It stops about being YOU and ME. It's about the ideas.

    Individualisation would is not being open to having your mind changed when you start communicating. It would just be STATING your opinion, not communicating. Not sharing. Not coming together. It wouldn't be a chance to grow closer to people.
    You dont need to patronize me and teach me a lesson about communication. I know what communication is but it is not what the op was talking about.

    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Lol, when you describe "how nice it would be if people weren't doing x judgmental thing, how liberating" etc..

    Especially in the type of situation you describe where people disregard people who they believe are unintelligent/immoral or who they disagree with, and the disagreement is taken personally or seen as a sort of defiance to the individual's ideas of reasoning or morality. They choose to believe there is nothing to be learned or gained from opening themselves up to something they aren't comfortable with, or they are too caught up in defending their own beliefs that they cannot accept that other points of view may have reasons to exist. This is a highly nonprogressive way to live - cutting oneself off from those that they cannot initially understand, with the belief that even an attempt at understanding will have no merit. Agreement/disagreement in shared values/ideas is what immediately defines how they approach others, and meeting them with negativity is considered a standard and appropriate response to diagreement.

    Lots of people do this. This includes people who like to believe that it is okay to occasionally feel superior to others, allowing them to look down upon them. Sadly they do not see it for the douchetastic attitude that it is. Understandably, it is a natural way of acting for many - it can be confounding, frustrating, or disappointing to discover that someone doesn't share the same viewpoint as you. Even so, there are many benefits of suppressing this initial response in order to look past it and be able to understand more of the different ways of functioning that take place in the world around you and therefore benefit from a greater variety of interactions and situations.

    Then again, some people don't mind being douches. In that case all you can do is just let them be douches and don't get involved with their douchery.
    I think you both havent understood what the op is talking about or it's me who is in the wrong. The op's talking about for example people who always need to share themselves constantly in a discussion, they would be the strongest form of people who get on your nerves. If you tell for example to a person that you fell bad about something and then the person tells you immediatly what he/she feels bad about without even attending your words in a single smile or something, you get weary over time to at all talk to people.

    This kind of attitude is especially pregnant ( pregnant is a german world aswell and means something like important, I tho still havent found the english word for it ) on a forum like this, where everybody wants to share. The trick's that one should share, even share a lot, but when he's done that he should give aswell and just listen to a person that just wants someone to listen. It's sometimes the best advice you can give
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #13
    ThatGirl
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    I am naturally Taoist, at least that's what people who are into that stuff have told me.


    .....Its cool.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    You dont need to patronize me and teach me a lesson about communication. I know what communication is but it is not what the op was talking about.
    Who's patronizing? You said "I think your proposal in practice has the exact antieffect to what is sharing ones experience." And I tried explaining why I didn't agree with that.

  5. #15
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Ah sorry, must be either my english skills or my lack of accepting your unyielding way to convince me of your opinion that have failed me
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #16
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I think you both havent understood what the op is talking about or it's me who is in the wrong. The op's talking about for example people who always need to share themselves constantly in a discussion, they would be the strongest form of people who get on your nerves. If you tell for example to a person that you fell bad about something and then the person tells you immediatly what he/she feels bad about without even attending your words in a single smile or something, you get weary over time to at all talk to people.

    This kind of attitude is especially pregnant ( pregnant is a german world aswell and means something like important, I tho still havent found the english word for it ) on a forum like this, where everybody wants to share. The trick's that one should share, even share a lot, but when he's done that he should give aswell and just listen to a person that just wants someone to listen. It's sometimes the best advice you can give
    That's exactly what I was referring to.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I think you both havent understood what the op is talking about or it's me who is in the wrong. The op's talking about for example people who always need to share themselves constantly in a discussion, they would be the strongest form of people who get on your nerves. If you tell for example to a person that you fell bad about something and then the person tells you immediatly what he/she feels bad about without even attending your words in a single smile or something, you get weary over time to at all talk to people.

    This kind of attitude is especially pregnant ( pregnant is a german world aswell and means something like important, I tho still havent found the english word for it ) on a forum like this, where everybody wants to share. The trick's that one should share, even share a lot, but when he's done that he should give aswell and just listen to a person that just wants someone to listen. It's sometimes the best advice you can give
    We're on the same wave length

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I am naturally Taoist, at least that's what people who are into that stuff have told me.

    .....Its cool.
    Good for you. Interesting subject should you like to read up on it.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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