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  1. #71
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I have two friends who are obsessed with popularity, celebrity, and status.

    *sighs*

    *loads gun*

    *shoots self in the head*

    Who gives a rat's ass!!!!!!!


    Why are people so concerned with other people's concerns?

  2. #72

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I have two friends who are obsessed with popularity, celebrity, and status.

    *sighs*

    *loads gun*

    *shoots self in the head*

    Who gives a rat's ass!!!!!!!


    Why are people so concerned with other people's concerns?
    I've always found it amazing that more people aren't. I think it's a natural urge that has been suppressed in people that manage to remain unconcerned about such things.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  3. #73
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FMWarner View Post
    I've always found it amazing that more people aren't. I think it's a natural urge that has been suppressed in people that manage to remain unconcerned about such things.
    Interesting thought. It's definitely natural to want to be loved and accepted. Human nature at work.
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

  4. #74
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Yeah, but I have always found that people who tend to constantly obsess about other people's lives instead of paying more attention to themselves and their own lives, tend to be both vain and shallow, and hence, perhaps ironically, more difficult to love and accept.

  5. #75
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Yeah, but I have always found that people who tend to constantly obsess about other people's lives instead of paying more attention to themselves and their own lives, tend to be both vain and shallow, and hence, perhaps ironically, more difficult to love and accept.
    Surely it's a question of degree, right? Living in isolation can be unhealthy, as can obsessing over others. A happy balance is probably the most stable.. and least likely to lead to vanity etc.

  6. #76
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    /long post ends
    You talk a lot of sense in that post, thank you for your thoughts. I suppose I would comment that we are not one constant family on the same journey, in as much as people constantly join, and a fair few wander off.

    So I do agree we need to find a way to grow together.. and yes some thinkers etc will become more playful.. and some more playful people will learn to be more serious.. but that doesn't quite take into account the needs of attracting a membership and catering for them. So I suspect a trick here is to try and demarcate or explain a little... for which reason I like the idea of the owner having an element of responsibility for the fluff status of a thread. They could badge it on creation and that badge always be visible when someone posts eg

    social banter welcome
    on topic social banter welcome
    on topic posts only welcome

    (perhaps that status could be changeable at owner choice)

    Oh, and I wasn't off shooting ducks yesterday.. I was out on a driving tour in the sunshine around little english villages.

  7. #77
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Catching up on this thread...


    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    Geoff,

    I think I know how to solve this problem.

    Okay everybody, Geoff is feeling left out. I think a date would help! Who would like to date Geoff!?


    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Agreed. I am an experienced "forumer".. and I have noticed that the most respected forum members are always the ones that don't play the game (such as cafe..) and that keep their eye on the ball (of discussion) and not the crowd. Reputation points have little significance in my mind.. there is a member here with two rep. points, whose posts I find most worthy of reading.

    And as for the awards, and last person to post here wins, and word association... People seem to always have to have threads like this on forums.. and people always participate. They come from high and low. I don't get it, and it is unbecoming in my opinion to a forum that is host to such knowledgable discussion...

    Ivy has mentioned before that MBTI Central is a place where we can see how all the types interact and so forth... and I agreed until now. I think that MBTI Central is about the types, not so much a free-for-all for them. Discussion should be encouraged and enforced about the types only.

    Does any good really come from observing this insipidity? Allowing it for the purpose of learning how the types interact? This isn't natural interaction... people are whoring themselves out!
    I guess if I was 25 years old again, I would feel this way, too, but I have mellowed out a lot on the last 20+ years. I understand that other people are different from me. If this forum was exactly the way I wanted it, hardly anyone would come here.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Okay, here's where we might be running into some conflict of ideals on this. I don't see the forum's purpose as being about all the types. I see it as a forum for all the types. In my mind the goal of the forum is to be a place where every type can, within the rules of civility, etc expressed in the FAQ, feel at home to be and interact as themselves, whether that means just hanging out and having fun with people who know what they are talking about when they start spouting four letter codes or whether it means people seriously discussing MBTI theory.

    This medium allows us to be as big as we need to be, to have as many rooms as we need to have, in order accommodate everyone who wants to participate in our community on whatever level they want to participate. In order to facilitate that, everyone needs to be aware of and attempt to cooperate with the needs of people who are not like them. That means keeping things in the right places. Social stuff in the social places. Serious stuff in the serious places. Your basic tolerance, respect, and common courtesy. Call me a crazy idealist, but I think we can do that.
    This makes perfect sense to me. Is this not already what's happening here? I thought so.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    ...
    I think you have really clarified the potential here. Often these fights result into turf wars: "There is only one space and you are changing it into something I don't want or need."

    The fact is that we can as much "turf" as we want. It is like settlers moving into a limitless expanse of land, we are not really bound by any constraints.

    The problems is occurring because we're fighting over the nature of the more public areas.
    ...
    Do we need to draw up more specific boundaries, add some more categories, so that people know where to post their particular item appropriately to keep things separated? I know if things get TOO spread out, that can be a weakness as well...
    I didn't know there was a problem. I thought fluff was being posted in the fluff areas.

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    ...
    The Bonfire
    An area for socializing and lighthearted general discussions.

    and

    The Fluff Zone
    Fluffed up beyond all recognition. This forum is for light-hearted, conversational threads. Fluff posts made in other forums and threads may be moved here by Moderators.

    Well, forgive me for being a bluff old literalist, but that would tend to give an impression that those forums are meant for... well... light-hearted conversation and socializing?
    ....
    Love that!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    ...
    Fluff zone and Bonfire are liberal areas, are they not? I certainly have enough common sense not to enter a thread on Infinity and start discussing my hair color.
    ...
    <chuckle>

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I have two friends who are obsessed with popularity, celebrity, and status.

    *sighs*

    *loads gun*

    *shoots self in the head*

    Who gives a rat's ass!!!!!!!


    Why are people so concerned with other people's concerns?
    Are you SURE you're an ENFP?! You sound like ME!

  8. #78
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Yeah, but I have always found that people who tend to constantly obsess about other people's lives instead of paying more attention to themselves and their own lives, tend to be both vain and shallow, and hence, perhaps ironically, more difficult to love and accept.
    I agree.

  9. #79
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    Hello all,

    This isn't a rant, but a genuine attempt to set out my thoughts on these sort of threads. There has been a thread discussing "fluff" with some... frank.. views on both sides as to what is and isn't healthy.

    Just seems to me, that once we start having the combination of post count titles, reputation based on sprinkling around "happy" comments, threads to celebrate who is at the social heart of the groupings, and dating polls etc we are in danger of overwhelming the forum. New members are likely to feel held back by the feeling of an existing "clique" (real or imagined)... awards distance those who don't win them, and in order to be popular encourage large scale posting and dispensing of reputation.

    All, in all, it just seems the character is changing... perhaps I am just turning into an old grumpy cynic.. maybe it is even a culture thing - we English don't like to celebrate ourselves to such an extent, and prefer an element of distance, I suspect..

    This is not me writing in any "official" capability, just personal opinion.
    I really like this topic. A few thoughts off the bat:

    1. I haven't received rep points for happy comments. Most of the rep points I've given or received has been to award thoughtful posts, entertaining posts, or to flirt.

    2. The rep system and the awards are partly for fun and partly as a way to stratify posters and rank them. The question is, what does the award system actually add (or in this case, take away)? Any group of people will natural sort itself into some type of hierarchy. It's human nature. These awards and rep points are just an expression and symbol of that need. Removing these systems doesn't remove the underlying hierarchy or the need for it. The only question, then, is whether the popularity contests exacerbate the need for rank. Even if it does, you have to weigh the loss against the potential gains: fun, allogrooming, intimacy, and self-discovery.

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    1. I haven't received rep points for happy comments. Most of the rep points I've given or received has been to award thoughtful posts, entertaining posts, or to flirt.
    That's not how the rep seems to go overall, (and my rep doesn't seem to have gone that way.)

    2. The rep system and the awards are partly for fun and partly as a way to stratify posters and rank them. The question is, what does the award system actually add (or in this case, take away)? Any group of people will natural sort itself into some type of hierarchy. It's human nature. These awards and rep points are just an expression and symbol of that need. Removing these systems doesn't remove the underlying hierarchy or the need for it. The only question, then, is whether the popularity contests exacerbate the need for rank. Even if it does, you have to weigh the loss against the potential gains: fun, allogrooming, intimacy, and self-discovery.
    I would disagree with you heavily that there is one single hierarchy that people will be following here, or in a lot of forums, there seem to be more a mix of 'soft hierarchies", at most, where some people get slightly more respect in some areas, but the only time where this is seriously different from people's actual skills or knowledge in that area is where popularity contest type stuff occurs. I don't see the rep system, personally, as doing anything that was not already happening on the forum, but the overall popularity contest effect is to increase the "hierarchy" without adding possible benefits to one.

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