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  1. #1
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Default Five Mistakes Everyone Should Make (article)

    5 Mistakes Everyone Should Make
    1. Totally embarrass yourself.
    2. Ruffle people’s feathers.
    3. Follow trends blindly
    4. Be willing to fail—doing something you love
    5. Carelessly put yourself at risk
    See rest of article (and the supporting anecdotes) at
    5 Mistakes Everyone Should Make - Manage Your Life on Shine

    Do you agree with these? Can you think of other mistakes that might be valuable to make at times?

    In regards to #1, one of my formative life experiences occured maybe six years ago, when I attended a week-long spiritual-direction seminar in Colorado. At the closing banquest, people were given the option to stand up and say what the week meant to them.

    That's normally something I despise doing, but this time I felt like I should... yet I had nothing in my head of what to say. I always plan my thoughts in advance, to the point that when I was younger, I would even rehearse phone calls in my head before dialing... but here, I felt compelled to stand and yet was entirely blank.

    I stood anyway, and fumbled through what I found to be the most embarrassing declaration of my life. I don't remember the words, just that it was clumsy and raw... so much for coming across as an intelligent, coherent person.

    When I sat down at the end, despite people clapping (I assumed out of politeness), I had to fight not to cry and just wanted to crawl under the tables and out of the room.

    Later, I mentioned to a friend who was there, admitting how crappy I felt at the time; and he was, "Actually you gave one of the best comments on the week that I heard. It was wonderful."

    I just looked at him as if I was afraid his nose would grow three feet in a second and knock out my eye.

    And then he continued: "Yes, you were clumsy, and raw, and it was so clear that you hadn't rehearsed anything... yet that only made it seem even more honest; you were putting the unprotected 'you' out there for everyone to see, regardless of how you felt it might make you look. I found that compelling and it encouraged me to be that honest." And other people I talked to said the same sort of thing.

    That was a lesson I took to heart -- not only that it was okay to not have my "best foot forward" but that people would respond to honesty and that there were people who could see the "real me" underneath and still accept me. I spent so much of my life feeling that others expected me to fit a particular image and I'd be punished if I didn't; but it took me being willing to embarrass myself out of conviction to show me maybe this wasn't always the case.

    This experience was something I still work to incorporate into my life today... but it gave me much more courage.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #2
    figsfiggyfigs
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    I think people learn and collect experiences from making mistakes, so theoretically, I agree.

  3. #3
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Yeah, I think being out of your element can always lead to a growth experience. I've had similar experiences mutiple times, after each I ask myself, why did I volunteer to do that, again?

    I don't understand number 3 though, can't click the link, so I can't see how the author justifies this as a beneficial thing.

  4. #4
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    1. Totally embarrass yourself.
    I dont see the point to this. Should this be to break a persons will ? I think there are better ways of teaching people they aint a King or Queen.

    2. Ruffle people’s feathers.
    Signed, ya that's good . It's good tho one doesnt become a yes-sayer and develops an own opinion. One shouldnt overdo it tho, present company excluded .

    3. Follow trends blindly
    Never in my life. I absolutely see no reason why this would be important. Ok tribe mentality can be comforting and maybe that's what it wants you to see, but I do not see this as mandatory for personal growth (especially not if you can only think a bit for yourself, you'ld know exactly how tribe mentality is).

    4. Be willing to fail—doing something you love
    Signed without comment.

    5. Carelessly put yourself at risk
    Absolutely no. I see 0 points to justify this and cant even make one up.

    6. Drink the beer bong
    Maybe that could go under 5. ? !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  5. #5
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I hate making mistakes, because I see them as indictments to my competence. I'd rather do things right the first time. But I also know that I've learned far more about myself and the world in my mistakes than I have in my successes, and I love learning. So, the two for me are at odds. Which leads to a lot of personal hesitation.

  6. #6
    Oberon
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    So whaddya think, Jen? Did I hit all five of these repeatedly within the first month you knew me, or what?

  7. #7
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    1. Totally embarrass yourself.

    I am no longer convinced this is even a mistake. To embarrass yourself is to go outside of your comfort zone, into a place where you are a rookie in a field of what seems like professionals.

    I'm not even sure if it's possible to grow unless we embarrass ourselves sometimes.

    2. Ruffle people’s feathers.

    I was a mischevious (but good natured) kid. Now, I'm mortified to do anything that is out of line, especially if it goes against my image.

    It's good to help people not take themselves so seriously.

    3. Follow trends blindly

    I don't get this one, and even the articles argument seems to amount to, "I was a sheep, and now I'm revising my history to make it seem like one of the best things I've ever done."

    4. Be willing to fail—doing something you love

    Yes! Success of any scale is impossible without failure.

    5. Carelessly put yourself at risk

    I don't know about the "carelessly" part. The article's argument seems to be more about pushing ourselves beyond our ability, even if that means there's risk involved. I can go with that.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    5 Mistakes Everyone Should Make
    1. Totally embarrass yourself.
    I don't see a problem with this one... I do it on numerous occasions.... I have yet to learn to think before speaking!
    2. Ruffle people’s feathers.
    I like to ruffle uptight and snooty people's feathers all the time... Most of the time though, I prefer to keep things smooth!
    3. Follow trends blindly
    Hell to the no. I am never going to put on a pair of Uggs or Crocs just because they are trendy. I have NEVER seen anyone look good wearing a pair of those shoes....
    4. Be willing to fail—doing something you love
    I love this one! This one, I am a pro at! LoL! I love to shoot pool and throw darts, but I'm a total failure at it!
    5. Carelessly put yourself at risk
    Within limitations I hope.... I sure wouldn't want everyone just carelessly running around passing HIV/AIDS around...


  9. #9
    Phantonym
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    I don't even consider most of these as mistakes.

    1. Totally embarrass yourself.

    I agree with Udog on this, embarrassing yourself is an opportunity for growth. It goes together with #4 and the willingness to fail. Putting yourself out there, taking risks, getting out of the comfort zone, that's what prompts the growth and if embarrassment comes with it, then it's just something you have to deal with and learn from. But I also think that one shouldn't go specifically looking for ways to get embarrassed as it can also knock you down if you're not careful or willing to learn from it. Don't get all masochistic about embarrassment. Accepting the possibility that things might necessarily not work out the way you want them to, that you should be aware of yourself and be willing to learn and develop as a person already helps a lot.

    2. Ruffle people’s feathers.

    It definitely works if you acknowledge that you're not doing it simply because you want to be controversial at any cost and just because you can. Having your own opinions and the willingness to stand up for them and your beliefs while being aware that you might accomplish more if you are able to explain yourself and your viewpoints in a coherent and considerate manner is more helpful than taking the ruffling as something you must do and end up being a fool about getting your way no matter what. Whoa, long sentence. There goes the coherence.

    3. Follow trends blindly

    Now this is something I could consider as really making a mistake and one that might not be productive. I do understand what is meant by it in the article, I just don't agree that you should do anything blindly just to try it out and see if it fits. What if you never stop running after things because you never really stop to learn anything from the last one? In my opinion, it would be better to observe yourself first and foremost and observe what is happening outside of yourself and how do you fit into all of that, what is the most important thing for you as a person. That doesn't necessarily involve getting a firsthand experience in everything, but that might be just me I guess. To each their own, and if trying out different things helps you to discover what you truly want and need, then go for it and good luck.

    4. Be willing to fail—doing something you love

    That's a good one. That is something I've tried to do my whole life. I can't really consider this a mistake either. It's more like a natural process one should follow, going after the things that matter to you and not letting yourself get caught with outside expectations. And failure is a part of life, it's a way to learn and one really shouldn't be trying to avoid it if one wants to live without major regrets with "What if...?" at the back of one's mind.

    5. Carelessly put yourself at risk

    Oh, this drives my self-preservation up the walls. Sure, put yourself out there and be willing to take calculated risks, but there's really no need to be a damned fool about it. I'd like to live and keep on doing my mistakes. Occasional spontaneity, yes; carelessness...

  10. #10
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    What about 6. Sacrifing brain cells to the beer bong ?

    --> [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bMIknDXjOk"].[/YOUTUBE]
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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