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  1. #1
    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
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    Default Public Service Announcement: Velociraptors. It COULD happen to you.

    Greetings citizens of Typology Central. I am addressing you today about a very serious topic that sadly many of you may not be aware of. Velociraptor Attack. Velociraptor attacks go largely unreported by the media, and statistics on velociraptor attacks go unnoticed. That is why the concerned members of TypoC have brought you Velociraptor Defense Awareness.


    The Velociraptor Prevention Awareness group is a bi-partisan group of professionals, dedicated to the diffusion of knowledge concerning velociraptor attack prevention.

    How you can join: No membership application is required. All those who are willing to learn and educate others are welcome to our group. Signup can be found at the following link: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...hp?groupid=131

    What the Velociraptor Prevention Awareness group can offer you:
    You will learn Velociraptor facts that may be pertinent to your survival should you ever encounter a Velociraptor attack. This information includes but is not limited to:

    A.) Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around their prey.
    B.) Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor laboratories.
    C.) Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
    D.) Velociraptors do not know fear.



    Home owners and new home buyers:
    Do you know how to assess your home for Velociraptor entry points? The Velociraptor Defense Awareness group can help you asses your current or potential home for weaknesses. Pamphlets can be found at our headquarters with useful information such as:

    A.) Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.
    B.) Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
    C.) Large bay windows can be an extremely dangerous entry point. Be sure your home is free of these extremely dangerous areas.


    How can you help your community?

    Spreading awareness about areas that are vulnerable to Velociraptor attack is the most important step. The Velociraptor Defense Awareness HQ provides signs and notices that you can post around your community to alert the public to these dangers.


    Join today, and save countless lives from Velociraptor attack!
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~

  2. #2
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    Is Velociraptor code for herpes? If so, count me in!

  3. #3
    Member 1.000.000's Avatar
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    I knew studying nuclear engineering would come in handy eventually.
    "Wait, time out. I just wanted to ask real quick, if I can. You believe in rebellion, freedom and love, right? "

    You! Yes, you there! What's on your mind when you're just walking along not thinking about anything?

  4. #4
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    Everyone should invest in giant crabs to protect their yards and larger properties. Crabs are the natural enemies of velociraptors.

  5. #5
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Anyone who doesn't feel this threat is very serious can refer to my second post in the group.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  6. #6
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Velociraptors are soo 71 million years ago.

  7. #7
    Epiphany
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    I was attacked by a velociraptor once. I don't want to talk about it. Thanks for bringing it up.

  8. #8
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Velociraptors were actually only the size of a turkey so they aren't a huge threat unless in numbers, kind of like Gremlins, if it's one on one you can just shove it in a blender or something.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  9. #9
    Reason vs Being ragashree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Risen View Post
    Everyone should invest in giant crabs to protect their yards and larger properties. Crabs are the natural enemies of velociraptors.
    I'm SO glad I have my own trained guard crab.

    The last velociraptor that bothered me ended up hiding in the garbage:
    Look into my avatar. Look deep into my avatar...

  10. #10
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    The guinea pig brigade is at your side ! Hometown defense is best done personally !!



    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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