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  1. #21
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Every morning I go on my front porch and shout "Velociraptors be gone!" Because of this I've never had any troubles with velociraptors. This technique really works. True story!
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
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  2. #22
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    As a reader of xkcd, I have been aware of this threat for years now.

    I am prepared.

  3. #23
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I once went on a Jdate with a velociraptor. I didn't know she was a velociraptor until I met her. It was really, really awkward the entire date and the conversation was just awful. At one point, I brought up the movie Jurassic Park and she got all worked up and bit off the head of the guy sitting next to me. I didn't say anything because I just wanted the date to be over. You can add "they make awful dates" to your list.

  4. #24
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    I got attacked by a velociraptor yesterday. It wasn't fun. I had to go to the hospital.
    You lose.

    _______

    RCOEI
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    Johari Window|Nohari Window

  5. #25
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Domino and I are velociraptors. The one you see is never the one that gets you.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    Domino and I are velociraptors. The one you see is never the one that gets you.
    I knew it!

    I'm ready.


  7. #27
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    Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, [makes 'whoshing' sound] from the other two 'raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect.

  8. #28
    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I am the Senate View Post
    Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, [makes 'whoshing' sound] from the other two 'raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect.
    Don't get me started on Jurassic Park. *glares*
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~

  9. #29
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Velociraptors are people too! Don't judge!
    Chimera of Filth

    A gruesome beast with dripping flesh
    Clings to me as a sick fixture
    My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
    It stalks and hunts me through mirrors

  10. #30
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    If a velociraptor does not know fear, can it tell you're afraid of it?

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