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  1. #1
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Default How important is to be physically attractive for you?

    The questions is pretty self explanatory. Do you think other people regard you as physically attractive, and do you think that affects the range of experiences you have in your life? Are people nicer or blasé towards based on your level of physically attractiveness?

    If you were ugly as a mule, do you think people would respond to you quite in the same way?

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    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    I don't think of myself as ugly...in fact, I think my family praised me for my looks so much when I was a kid/teen that I probably became more confident than my actual beauty extends, LOL. Maybe I AM ugly as a mule, but I surely don't feel like it.

    I think attitude has a lot to do with it. Beautiful and obviously insecure people aren't nearly as attractive as moderately good looking people who feel sexy in their own skin, to me.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  3. #3
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    Being physically attractive is important to me. Some people automatically treat you with more respect if they consider you "up to par" in terms of attractiveness. It doesn't mean that I'm obsessed by physical appearance...quite the contrary, in fact...but I've observed in life that it does matter in some situations.

    I know that when I was VERY young...lets say between 17-22...I got constant attention from men. I have learned as I've gotten toward 30 that while some of those men genuinely loved or cared about me, many, many men are EXTREMELY shallow and will treat women differently based on their age or weight. I really was able to get perspective on just how much men value physical appearance as I headed into my late twenties, and I'm by no means an old, ugly or obese woman.

    I know people would treat me differently if I were ugly. It's just a fact of life. However, it makes me wonder if the people who REALLY MATTER are the ones who don't care what you look like, and I shouldn't even be concerned with the ones who do.

  4. #4
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I believe a fair amount of research has been done to show that looks certainly do affect how people are treated.

    Am I attractive? I'm terrible at figuring out what people think of me or how it affects my relationship with them. I know I don't think of myself as attractive, and I'm insecure about it in terms of relationships, becuase I think that if my partner doesn't find me physically attractive, then I'm at least something of a disappointment for her, and at worst I'm going to be cheated on/abandoned.

    I'm sure, whatever the average opinion of my appearance actually is, it influences my odds of getting and probably even maintaining a relationship. The research I mentioned seems to show that casual things which seem to have nothing to do with looks are affected as well.
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  5. #5
    Probably Most Brilliant Craft's Avatar
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    Yes. At least, I know I am biased. I personally judged extensively via superficial surfaces. I hate it... I cannot trust my judgement of Extraverted Feeling enough to speak for the majority, I wonder if they do the same way I do.

    I have not determined the common view of "ugly", if my condition existed within that scenario, I don't know. Probably the same.

    To address the question, myself being attractive is not important at all in most cases. But others being attractive, yes.

    Such is my Introversion. Orient yourself to me. muwahahah.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    No. I'm not physically attractive. Most of the chicks whose hearts I win its down to being good humoured, good natured and a combination of NLP, psychology, cold reading and other charm/mind trickery.

    I'd love to be more physically attractive.

  7. #7
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Do you think other people regard you as physically attractive, and do you think that affects the range of experiences you have in your life?
    I think it has more importance than I dare to admit. Think about encountering a person who is attractive but has one eye looking at the wrong direction. Would you take everything they say as seriously as from a person with straight eyes?

    I am balancing between two poles here. I don't want to "take care" of myself because I don't like the idea that my looks matter much. But, I wouldn't like to miss out on anything because people think I am a second-class citizen. I mean, my style of clothing and so on, it probably does look like some sort of hippie-bum. I would be attractive to many more people if I cut my hair and got some regular clothes, I am sure of this. I don't know, maybe I will...

    To be honest, this subject annoys me a bit... so yes, it matters, and I don't know how to respond to that.

    Edit: If talking about purely physical stuff, the things I can't change (easily), there aren't many things I don't like in my actual body. I'm maybe a bit too slim and my hair is escaping above my temples. The hair thing is annoying... hard to find a style that works with it...

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    I find that I am so unbelievably attractive that I have to dress myself down to hobo level to ward away the excessive attention that makes me so uncomfortable as an introvert.

    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    But seriously, I don't know if I'd say I'm physically attractive. I know I'm not ugly, and that's good enough for me. And that's where it stops because beyond that I'm crossing into territory that's beyond my control. As such, I can't say more than I already have.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I know people would treat me differently if I were ugly. It's just a fact of life. However, it makes me wonder if the people who REALLY MATTER are the ones who don't care what you look like, and I shouldn't even be concerned with the ones who do.
    Yeah...


    Ever since I was a kid I've had an extreme disgust for this "fact of life" and it extends to people who love fashion or are in any other way very image aware (that's why I simply LOVE type 3s ). I think I even started being mean to girls from a young age because I was kind of a pretty boy before puberty and I didn't get why they didn't shower some of my other friends with attention.

    People who love fashion or are very image aware also tend to get on my nerves for their shallowness and dependency on looks and attention.

    I often wonder if it's something one should fight against in any way, or if it's just better to leave people to their own devices.

    Yesterday night at a party I had a prime example of this, with a friend of mine being left out of the chat going on between my other friends and some girls while I watched from afar. This kind of thing makes my blood boil. Obviously, till the end of the night I shat all over the heads of the group of girls whenever I got the chance even though apparently I had enough street cred to be a part of the conversation. They couldn't believe why I was being such an ass when they were being so nice to me. Grrr Stupid bitches.

  10. #10
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm plain/average, but I clean up fairly nice. I noticed years ago that I was treated differently depending on whether I was cleaned up or not, so I make sure I'm cleaned up when it matters.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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