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  1. #81
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
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    I stress about it a fair amount to be honest. I never leave my house without ensuring that I look presentable. I do find that I judge myself and others, but I never bring that fourth to others in the way that I do about myself...


    However, if I think of how a person that I would deem as "ugly" presented themselves in their attitude and confidence, then I would be less inclined to see them in the same way that I did inicially. I do believe that personal attitude has a lot to do with it. But for myself still, attitude alone is not enough. I need to know that I am clean, dressed nicely and acceptable looking to the majority of people out there. (that would be in my own mind's opinion though I guess, lol).
    "What's Taters, Precious?" --- Gollum.

    "Bring your pretty face, to my axe". --- Gimly.

  2. #82
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    how did i contradict myself?


    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    doesn't matter...you have to look beyond what's in front of you...who that person is would still be evident.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i just said it doesn't matter...i think who people are shines through how they look...and they go together and can't be totally separated....i just said that didn't i?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i think it would be changed yes...and the extent of change would be dependent on the person...it could make them more beautiful...perhaps by showing them how fragile life is...by being more grateful and in love with life...or...they could feel like a victim and withdraw into themselves and become very bitter and unhappy with the cards they've been dealt...or any number of things and whatever it is it would effect how i perceive them.

    First you said it doesn't matter because how you are will always shine through. But then you admit that an accident might change how you are and how you perceive the person.

    So it does matter unlike what you said previously. It does change the identity of the person. The way the person is. And what shine through is no longer what the person was before the accident but something different.

  3. #83
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    It's important to me to be physically attractive in the sense of "looking good naked" mostly for the benefit of whoever I am dating, but I despise fashion and / or taking care of oneself in terms of hair / clothing / style completely. So, I always try to look as plain as I can when it comes to clothes (often borderline shitty / not giving a fuck), because I hate that kind of attitude. I understand it sounds complicated and neurotic, but...whatever.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  4. #84
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    First you said it doesn't matter because how you are will always shine through. But then you admit that an accident might change how you are and how you perceive the person.

    So it does matter unlike what you said previously. It does change the identity of the person. The way the person is. And what shine through is no longer what the person was before the accident but something different.
    that's just misscommunication there sy.

    it doesn't matter because they're one in the same...one is reflected in the other..you implied that the scars would make one unattractive and i'm saying...only if the way it changed your character was.

    and i admit? that's an odd way of saying that...so your outside physical self is experienced internally and reflected outwardly...and vice verse...they're expressed in tandem..and perhaps only blind people are capable of separating it....or being uninfluenced by it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #85
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    that's just misscommunication there sy.

    it doesn't matter because they're one in the same...one is reflected in the other..you implied that the scars would make one unattractive and i'm saying...only if the way it changed your character was.
    How the fuck would it not change one's character? I don't blame a person for how their mind reacts to such a traumatic event. It wouldn't factor in their attractiveness level for me. Besides, even the one that best coped with it might not show it as much but would be deeply affected.

  6. #86
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    god...are you saying i am judging them?

    you are not understanding at all.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #87
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    god...are you saying i am judging them?

    you are not understanding at all.
    Of course you are. Indirectly but you are. If a guy becomes bitter after the accident, and is now a dick, that doesn't mean he doesn't have good inside him, but you would still be put off by his actions and words towards others.

    Don't use the word judging as always having negative connotation. Judging is perceiving and perceiving is judging.

    I didn't say that's wrong (although you are always concerned with making it apparent you are all so empathetic and understanding, even if that means not having a taboo-free speech). I'm just concerned with facts here. Not moralism. Not in this instance in particular.

  8. #88
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i'm not so short sighted that i wouldn't see both...that's what you are not understanding....someone's character has many layers.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #89
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i'm not so short sighted that i wouldn't see both...that's what you are not understanding....someone's character has many layers.
    That are not always apparent. Short sighted? What if the other person didn't share certain sides with people? Or do you think being ENFP you can know everything about a person even if they don't want to share it with you?

    And why are you assuming there even IS a way to healthily overcome such a trauma, and actually be able to flirt with the other sex long enough to get any attention? You want to sound politically correct (as ever) but the fact is it's not a neutral factor for you when considering a partner either. Unless you're from Mars.

    Anyways, bottom line, having many layers doesn't make a burn victim any more likely to have people (or you specifically) being physically attracted to him/her. On the contrary. And that's that.

  10. #90
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    and that's that? please don't assign your version of fact to my thoughts on the matter.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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