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  1. #51
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    I don't think I've ever had an accurate self-concept of how attractive I was because most of the women who gave me their opinions on the topic had different standards. If I was gay, then it would be easier to look in the mirror and have a reasonable scope of how attractive I was, but that's not the case.

    That doesn't address the question, though. The fact is that I do think that physical attraction is an essential means by which people judge their potential partners. Some people see this as shallow, superficial, or immoral, but there's no escaping it.

    I would like to be physically attractive in the eyes of my partner, but I would also not want to surrender myself to them in that way. In other words, I would like there to be a mutual appreciation, both from her and from me, for the way both I and she look. I think I would like to be perceived as "average" by a more consensual standard so that I am overlooked by most, but magnetized by a person who finds an affinity for my particular "tinge".

    Luckily, I think I have found that person, but the matter isn't completely settled.

    Throughout my life, I have fluctuated in both weight and overall health. The fact that I'm pale as a fucking napkin doesn't make me seem healthy to most people, I bet. In my area, most people have intense tans or of another ethnicity, so I stick out even amongst white people. I may move to some place that's forever caught in winter wonderland so I blend in like a mink.

  2. #52
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    The questions is pretty self explanatory. Do you think other people regard you as physically attractive, and do you think that affects the range of experiences you have in your life? Are people nicer or blasé towards based on your level of physically attractiveness?

    If you were ugly as a mule, do you think people would respond to you quite in the same way?
    These are questions I still haven't fully figured out. When I was younger I thought that I was ugly, because I had a poor self image in general. When I became more self assured, then I began to think I was average looking. However over the past several years based on other people's behaviors, I'm starting to think I am actually handsome and hadn't realized it all of this time.

    One thing I'm fairly sure of is that I became more attractive when I became more secure and self-assured. I think these sorts of things matter more for a guy than things like symmetry and cheek bones. Confidence and security make a woman more attractive too, but I think they are judged much more by superficial features than men are.
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  3. #53
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    It's always kind of hard to see yourself as you really are. I grew up comparing myself to my sister and also having gone through a rather awkward early teenaged phase. I wouldn't say I'm a knockout (look pretty approachably girl next doorey), but I would say that I've noticed an advantage in being a reasonably attractive woman within the realm of average size. Those who are larger do definitely get perceived differently, which is very unfair. During university, I found a marked difference in the way profs treated me (I think on an unconscious level) on the days I dressed up (nothing sexy, just nicer than usual).

    I would agree that people who are attractive enjoy social advantages to some extent. However, people who look like they care for their appearance (without seeming overly concerned) are treated differently than those who are either slovenly or high maintenance looking.

  4. #54
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    It matters not to generally be viewed as ugly. It really matters to be viewed as attractive by a partner although a snowstorm of compliments would be a turn-off. Beyond that, my personal view is that I'm okay, neither model or fugly.

    Over the years I've learned how to dress to suit my body type, so this has helped on a professional level by giving the (erroneous?) appearance of being one with the suits. Had I been a slob with poor hygiene, life would have been different.

  5. #55
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefeater View Post
    Over the weekend an ENTP friend of mine (probably above average looks, but wearing carhart clothing) complained to me that he was waiting at a cash register when the cashier asked the girl next to him if he was her boyfriend. This total stranger responded by saying: "pffft, no. I would never date him."

    It really pissed him off, because he knew it was the blue-collar clothing that made her say that.
    Edit: While he said that was the reason he was pissed probably the real reason was the realization that not all woman want to have sex with him.
    That is funny because one of the few times I've caught someone checking my husband out, he was wearing his literally blue-collared work shirt and looked like he'd been busting his butt all day. Around here a guy with a job is nothing to sneeze at, though.
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  6. #56
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Do you think other people regard you as physically attractive, and do you think that affects the range of experiences you have in your life?

    I don't know. Sometimes. Has it changed my experiences? Not yet. It wasn't until recently that I got more attractive. If you're attractive, people (I have noticed) are not shy (at all) about pointing it out to you or your mother, in a matter of fact way, sort of like Her hair color is brown. It's odd.

    Are people nicer or blasé towards based on your level of physically attractiveness?

    I think confidence goes a long way. Physical attractiveness does matter, don't get me wrong, it matters a lot. But so does confidence. Your interpretation of everything stems from your confidence.

    If you were ugly as a mule, do you think people would respond to you quite in the same way?

    Not quite the same way I think, but that's my interpretation. I sometimes get the rather patronizing 'doll' treatment. They wouldn't respond to me badly if I am less attractive if I am very confident and not socially awkward.

    To me, my confidence comes a large part from my looks. I have noticed that other people gets their confidence elsewhere. I got this (huge) insecurity from my mother since I was about ten so it's ingrained in me.

    My interpretation of all this could be extremely wrong. I don't know for sure.

  7. #57
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Yes, it is important to me, unfortunately

    I've also never really been able to judge my own appearance well. I consider myself average looking, though I'm told I have a pretty face.

    To me it's important coz I enjoy things of beauty. And that includes all things. I mean, beauty of personality, beauty of emotional harmony, beauty of the physical. They all have a different priority, but I do strive to improve myself and this is part of it. Beauty to me is something that is composed in harmony and has a deeper meaning to it, as well as a uniqueness. So that is what I strive for.

    I know how I feel when I see a thing of beauty. It overwhelms me, I marvel at it, revel in it..time stands still and you just bask in its glow.

    To be the person that inspires such a feeling, such a moment in someone else...well, it's definitely a kick

    On top of that, I think one should be the best they can be, mentally, emotionally, intellectually...and physically
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  8. #58
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Yes, it is important to me, unfortunately

    I've also never really been able to judge my own appearance well. I consider myself average looking, though I'm told I have a pretty face.

    To me it's important coz I enjoy things of beauty. And that includes all things. I mean, beauty of personality, beauty of emotional harmony, beauty of the physical. They all have a different priority, but I do strive to improve myself and this is part of it. Beauty to me is something that is composed in harmony and has a deeper meaning to it, as well as a uniqueness. So that is what I strive for.

    I know how I feel when I see a thing of beauty. It overwhelms me, I marvel at it, revel in it..time stands still and you just bask in its glow.

    To be the person that inspires such a feeling, such a moment in someone else...well, it's definitely a kick

    On top of that, I think one should be the best they can be, mentally, emotionally, intellectually...and physically
    So would you advise people to get plastic surgery if they are not up to par?

    And what is the deeper meaning of physical beauty, may I ask?

  9. #59
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    So would you advise people to get plastic surgery if they are not up to par?

    And what is the deeper meaning of physical beauty, may I ask?
    I would advise people to get plastic surgery if they cannot be happy with themselves, but only after they've tried.

    Beauty is subjective at best. Physical beauty is deeper imo, when it gives tell-tale signs of who that person is. When specific attributes of them, suit them. Take Halla with his Thor-image. It's clearly part of him, it suits him. That to me, makes it beautiful.

    I especially like those that make the most of their natural beauty, instead of trying to be something they're not, because it happens to be the mainstream idea of beauty. (take eyelid corrections for asians, and skin-whitening for black people, white people tanning their skins like mad as it gives a 'healthier' look and people colouring their gorgeous red hair coz they're embarassed of it, stuff like that).
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  10. #60
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    When specific attributes of them, suit them..
    Okay, I have no idea what you are talking about. Like what? My acnes scars?

    Thor is not something I'd think by looking at Halla. Only associate because he mentioned him once or twice and dressed up in Halloween (or whatever the occasion was, but yeah I remember the pic vaguely) as Thor.

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