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  1. #41
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suchirony View Post
    I'd much rather have someone interested in me for who I truly am on the inside, not because of how I'd look.
    Agreed. Problem is...sometimes the mere fact you're not attractive makes it harder to initiate conversation and meet new people and holding their interest enough to want to get to know the "real" you.

  2. #42
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    there's another thread on this topic around here somewhere...

    I did a research paper in social psych on the topic of beauty and social acceptance while in college and looking good can open a lot of doors for you in society... you're protected by the halo effect and you generally receive preferential treatment in hiring and in the court system... which isn't fair in the least, but occurrs nonetheless

    I'm apparently seen to be generally attractive by people, which is useful since I work in sales and have to deal with people all day long. The guys that I work with say that good looking females are lucky in sales because sex sells... it's fucking annoying to be asked out by people that you're being nice to because you want for them to buy from you, not because you're flirting with them
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #43
    Senior Member ubee0173's Avatar
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    i find that it closes a lot of doors, too though. court- yes generally looking classy will get a lot more forgiveness than the guy who shows up in sweats and the same wife-beater hes been wearing for a week- but i dont think thats so much a looks thing as an image thing. classy lady appears to have made a one-time oopsie and will not do it again. sweats man just doesnt give a fuck and will probably be back soon. i dont see this halo effect happening. i dont like to say i look one way or another because thats all relative, but i like to think i have some pleasant features. i have had neighbors ignore me- blatanly. one became my friend a while later and informed me she thought i would be a bitchy princess. my very best friend told me the same thing OUCH! i dont think guys do that to each other very often, and i will never understand why girls do it. my friends have always been the group of people that didnt fit in anywhere else- whether for looks, weight, beliefs, whatever. i was always taught that you shouldnt judge a book by its cover and i have met some amazing people because of that. as for this whole 'size-ism' thing- i think reverse- size-ism is just as commonplace. i *had* a friend that was literally three times my size and she thought it was okay to mock me or make fun of me constantly- but it was not okay. if we went out somewhere no one commented on her size. not once. me- all the damn time,and thats just not okay. i dont know, but i think judging someone's value based on what they look like or how different they look from you is a fucking lot like racism. not cool. and also- if 2 girls (one weighs 100 lbs, the other 160) go shopping all day at a bunch of different stores, and at the end of the day they are both pissed and hate shopping because nothing fit either one of them- well, that means something is very very wrong. i will now exit my soapbox.
    I will buy you a drink and I'll tell you what I think, and tomorrow, in the morning, I won't be sorry that I didn't sleep.


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  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Yeah--I've heard about people who got to know each other online and fell in love and met later, and then ended up living happily ever after. I know from past experience that I can't fall in love with someone without having interacted with them in person. There are just things you can't know. But talking online is a great way to get to know a person's insides, and then if everything is still cool after meeting, I would imagine it would be a pretty strong foundation for a relationship.
    Yes, I agree. I've had a five year relationship that began on the Internet. One would think that it would be a great place to meet people who care more about what a person is like on the inside.

    Though not necessarily. You can meet some shallow people who just want to use you for sex on-line, natch. You can also meet people on-line who will very much be attracted to your photographs just as much (or more so) than your personality, or change their mind and stop talking to you when they see a pic.

    As an aside my personal FAVORITES are average looking Internet nerds who think they deserve a super model. That's the best.

    People are still people on-line, and with it comes all of the usual stuff, but it is a good way to meet people that you appreciate for their personality....and that includes platonic friends, as well.

  5. #45
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ubee0173 View Post
    i find that it closes a lot of doors, too though. court- yes generally looking classy will get a lot more forgiveness than the guy who shows up in sweats and the same wife-beater hes been wearing for a week- but i dont think thats so much a looks thing as an image thing. classy lady appears to have made a one-time oopsie and will not do it again. sweats man just doesnt give a fuck and will probably be back soon. i dont see this halo effect happening. i dont like to say i look one way or another because thats all relative, but i like to think i have some pleasant features. i have had neighbors ignore me- blatanly. one became my friend a while later and informed me she thought i would be a bitchy princess. my very best friend told me the same thing OUCH! i dont think guys do that to each other very often, and i will never understand why girls do it. my friends have always been the group of people that didnt fit in anywhere else- whether for looks, weight, beliefs, whatever. i was always taught that you shouldnt judge a book by its cover and i have met some amazing people because of that. as for this whole 'size-ism' thing- i think reverse- size-ism is just as commonplace. i *had* a friend that was literally three times my size and she thought it was okay to mock me or make fun of me constantly- but it was not okay. if we went out somewhere no one commented on her size. not once. me- all the damn time,and thats just not okay. i dont know, but i think judging someone's value based on what they look like or how different they look from you is a fucking lot like racism. not cool. and also- if 2 girls (one weighs 100 lbs, the other 160) go shopping all day at a bunch of different stores, and at the end of the day they are both pissed and hate shopping because nothing fit either one of them- well, that means something is very very wrong. i will now exit my soapbox.
    and god help you if you are an ugly girl
    course too pretty is also your doom
    cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
    for the prettiest girl in the room
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #46
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    I think I'm pecuilar looking.
    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  7. #47
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    I'm attractive enough; i attract the kind of people that I'm interested in and are up to my standards (and vice versa). Physical attraction is important to me, of course, but i tend to go by my own standards of attractive.

    I'm pleased with the way i am. My best friend/old roommate is a model and very conventionally attractive, but if I mostly attracted the kinds of guys that she does i'd be seriously unhappy. i'd say they're nicer to her and treat her better, but only on the surface. in the long run that wouldn't do it for me...once in a while she finds a decent one, but they mostly just want to get into her pants. It's gotten her into some pretty awful situations.
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  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post

    Well sure, we instinctively seek the best qualities for our offspring. But we don't want those relationships merely to procreate, that's what I meant. People want to be happy together first and foremost.
    Sure. And there are also practical reasons for wanting marriage, though those practical reasons were surely more numerous in the past. One that still counts, though, in terms of offspring is "Will this person be a good parent?"

    Like Chris Rock said, pussy ain't gonna teach your children how to read.

  9. #49
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    My looks are going.. not sure what I'm going to do now Physical attraction is passive (and therefore easy). I would lying if I said I wasn't happy when I knew it worked in my favor at times.. because it took little work. I've always wanted to emphasize my actual qualities (personality), but getting older makes me realize that I haven't done it enough. I want a "crutch" again. I will work on not wanting that.

  10. #50
    Oberon
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    My looks are average at best, which is fine. Being average-looking mostly takes looks out of the equation for me, I think. I would rather work on being kind, loyal, and fair.

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