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  1. #31
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    btw Sytpg

    Don't misunderstand me, I would never start a relationship with someone purely based on physical attraction, but it does have an effect on my initial interest in a man, he doesn't have to be mind blowingly sexy, but I NEED to feel some sort of physical attraction! I'm sure everyone feels that way.

    Does he attract me?
    Is he healthy?
    ----Physical inspection done, moves on to other attributes -------

    Is he a good person?
    Is he kind?
    Is he smart?

    yadda yadda yadda.
    Sure of course. I don't disregard physical beauty myself. But what if I'm ugly? How can I allow myself to be in a relationship with a girl that is clearly attractive without feeling she is getting the shitty end of the bargain? Even if I'm ugly I'd like to feel she is getting both needs met just as I am.

    Okay, that's not the point of the thread...but just a genuine random question that came to mind just now.

  2. #32
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    Oh, it definitely can in my opinion. I've had at least one situation where the chemistry was so strong I found it very difficult not to notice.



    Honestly, in the situation I'm thinking of, I couldn't care less if she was as fat as a walrus or as skinny as a broomstick or however ugly she was. She was such an intelligent and witty person with whom I had great chemistry that I'm pretty sure her looks would have made absolutely no difference to me. Tough for me to say, without actually having done it, but yeah... that was my feeling. And if she doesn't fine me attractive, she doesn't find me attractive. Move on.

    I think with the physical distractions aside, meeting someone on the internet makes what you're saying a whole lot easier to do. That's basically what i meant.
    Oh, I'm with you on the fact that I don't necessarily need for them to be traditionally attractive as long as the chemistry's there.

    I have just noticed that there are times when I have seemed to have chemistry with someone I met online, but that was because we were communicating in print. But then after meeting them, the vibe was totally different. I still liked them as people and as friends, but couldn't necessarily see them as relationship material based upon our in-person chemistry. Didn't have anything to do with looks--just our personalities together, in person.
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  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Oh, I'm with you on the fact that I don't necessarily need for them to be traditionally attractive as long as the chemistry's there.

    I have just noticed that there are times when I have seemed to have chemistry with someone I met online, but that was because we were communicating in print. But then after meeting them, the vibe was totally different. I still liked them as people and as friends, but couldn't necessarily see them as relationship material based upon our in-person chemistry. Didn't have anything to do with looks--just our personalities together, in person.
    Ah, I see what you mean. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense actually. Hmmm... tough call to say anything on a general level then.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Put up a big honkin' avatar of an exceptionally good-looking person and see how you are treated. Then put up an avatar of a not at all good-looking person. It works even for avatars on internet forums. When the person behind them could be ANYBODY or even when they say outright it is not their picture.

  5. #35
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    I'm generally insecure about my looks. Its annoying too because I go back and forth between being in really great shape and being completely out of shape (like gaining 30-50 lbs). Whenever I'm out of shape I always think that I was really good looking when I was in shape, but I don't feel as attractive as I probably should when I'm in shape... that is I never am satisfied with the way I look.

    If I dressed better when I'm overweight it would probably help but, I don't want to spend the money and I always assume I'm never going to gain weight again once I lose it. Right now I have 2 pair of pants and 1 pair of shorts that fit me and no collared shirts that fit me around the neck.

    But, honestly I'm pretty picky about the girls I hang out with and want to date so I suppose it's only fair that I'm hard on myself as well.

    There are of course exceptions. I do hang out and go dancing with a couple of obese 30 yo women (I'm 28), but they're very extroverted and interact in a very confident manner despite any insecurities they might have. Plus they're the social ring leaders of one of my groups of friends.


    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    My mother, in her early 50's, who was very attractive until she was around 45...and is amazed that the men who used to open doors for her are now rude and dismissive of her. I'm so thrilled I have that to look forward to.
    Its always been the opposite for me. I feel uncomfortable around attractive girls I don't know and am more likely to be rude to them than I am other woman.

    In fact last summer I was hanging out with a new group of people and there was this beautiful girl that I thought was very unapproachable (she was definitely introverted). Later in the summer a mutual friend told me that she had complained to him that I was unfriendly and only hung out with a certain clique.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I noticed years ago that I was treated differently depending on whether I was cleaned up or not, so I make sure I'm cleaned up when it matters.
    Over the weekend an ENTP friend of mine (probably above average looks, but wearing carhart clothing) complained to me that he was waiting at a cash register when the cashier asked the girl next to him if he was her boyfriend. This total stranger responded by saying: "pffft, no. I would never date him."

    It really pissed him off, because he knew it was the blue-collar clothing that made her say that.
    Edit: While he said that was the reason he was pissed probably the real reason was the realization that not all woman want to have sex with him.
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  6. #36
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    It's not important, but I do think I am physically attractive and I do believe people are generally treated better or worse based on their appearance. Do I treat people better or worse based on their appearance? No, but I do find that there are self-fulfilling prophecies when it comes to those with a less attractive appearance or low self-esteem. If you want to see instances in where appearance has determined the treatment of another, check out ABC's What Would You Do?.

  7. #37
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    Ah, I see what you mean. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense actually. Hmmm... tough call to say anything on a general level then.
    Yeah--I've heard about people who got to know each other online and fell in love and met later, and then ended up living happily ever after. I know from past experience that I can't fall in love with someone without having interacted with them in person. There are just things you can't know. But talking online is a great way to get to know a person's insides, and then if everything is still cool after meeting, I would imagine it would be a pretty strong foundation for a relationship.
    Something Witty

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Put up a big honkin' avatar of an exceptionally good-looking person and see how you are treated. Then put up an avatar of a not at all good-looking person. It works even for avatars on internet forums. When the person behind them could be ANYBODY or even when they say outright it is not their picture.
    This is actually an excellent point. The results of this experiment will pretty much answer all the OPs questions. Though I don't think I'd need to formally experiment to know what the answer would be.

  9. #39
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I suppose its mildly important. I don't need to be drop dead gorgeous but being attractive does help in our society. Not just in terms of finding potential mates, but also in getting jobs and just how your character is perceived in general. Studies have shown that more attractive people are more likely to get better jobs and higher paying ones. Attractive people are also perceived as nicer and treated better in general.

    I'm not particularly attractive but I wouldn't call myself ugly either. Appearance wise, I'm pretty low-maintenance. I just want to look presentable and don't go much beyond that. In a weird way, I don't want to be the drop-dead gorgeous kind of attractive because then I'd probably have guys hitting on me that I wasn't interested in that I'd have to fend off. I'd much rather have someone interested in me for who I truly am on the inside, not because of how I'd look. If I had the drop-dead gorgeous look, I'd wonder if guys were interested in me just because of the way I look.
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  10. #40
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Put up a big honkin' avatar of an exceptionally good-looking person and see how you are treated. Then put up an avatar of a not at all good-looking person. It works even for avatars on internet forums. When the person behind them could be ANYBODY or even when they say outright it is not their picture.
    Yep.

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