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Thread: Member Appreciation Thread!

  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    This isn't a circlejerk thread is it?

    Very well:

    I appreciate:
    @Stigmata - His humour is awesome. Quite the art form.

    @RaptorWizard - I love his mind. He is very open about expressing his ideas and beliefs. His ideas seem unrestrained and his imagination seems limitless. I enjoy discussing ideas with him.

    @DJ Arendee - He is hands down one of the most entertaining people in recent memory for me to troll. Always makes my days brighter. Did you donate your left nut sack yet mate?

    There are others but in this moment of vapid mental vacuum suitable compliments escape me. A few people I would mention but I'm not necessarily comfortable doing so. Note that if you're on the forum then I probably have a good or at least reasonable opinion of you. Or if you're alive. Heck even the dead have been known to impress me. Nobody else can teach me so much without saying a word to me. But don't think you're safe from passive-aggressive snipes and overly harsh blanket stereotyping. Because you're not. Not by a long shot.
    um, thanks?

    and yes. 20 times. Because I have a million nut sacks. Like a bawss.

  2. #82
    Riva
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    I appreciate @senza tema for showing the forum and ventrilo that not all south asians have indian accents - which I fail to do - and that it's not genetically encoded to our genes. Actually I appreciate you for being a pal - when you are in an extroverted mood atleast - but thought you wouldn't forgive me if I didn't try to embarass you in some way before saying that.I appreciate my devilishly handsome boy-toy oakysage - who has changed his username to @Time ; much to the displeasure of most of us - for being a real friend in need. I appreciate @UniqueMixture for living upto his italian-american stereotype of being a womanizer - so that we can further stereotype the italians and call him fonzi - and giving tips to get laid more. I appreciate @Mane for reminding me and canadian children that jesus is actually jewish. I appreciate @AffirmitiveAnxiety for reminding me of my hilarious friend; who coincidentally died around his age. I appreciate @Lexicon for continuously talking about cats and dressing up her cat like shakespeare to encourage us to become theatre enthusiasts. On a serious note I really like you for being friendly, chatty and for having a good sense of humour.

  3. #83
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    Thank you, @Eilonwy, for the sweet compliment. Myself and I am sure many are grateful that you chose to voice your positive feelings towards us, even if others grumble.

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Don't feel badly. This often happens with any threads showing appreciation and has nothing to do with you or the merit of the idea. [...] I think back to the beginning of my time here and how much impact either a positive or negative comment had on me and on my courage to write what I thought. The only thing that makes me feel awkward is that there are people whom I know feel left out when they aren't mentioned, but whom I don't know well enough to personalize something positive about them, especially since I've spent less time here.


    I've taken a break from starting threads as the last couple of times I have done so, it has blown up in my face in ways that I couldn't possibly have foreseen and certainly never intended. In retrospect, I think the issue wasn't so much that I did something terribly wrong, but that it is usual for some people to have negative comments on anything someone else does publicly, and also different people will see things differently than me and that's something that I need to deal with without feeling attacked, which I sometimes find hard to do. Therefore, I don't think the issue is whether or not you make threads like this, but how much extra emotional rope you have to deal with negativity when you do so.
    Thank you for saying this, fidelia. I felt that way about the thread I started about marriage in the Relationships section which was lovely for a few pages then went downhill with amazing rapidity, and left me feeling absolutely horrible as well as personally scapegoated. I think starting a serious thread which exposes emotions can leave one very open to others unloading their baggage as well... which is probably not really personal at all and more just an unfortunate collision of very strong feelings running into one another at the same place in spacetime... Probably also especially potent on a forum where most of us are into intra- and interpersonal growth and we're trying to improve our knowledge of type and knowledge of ourselves and knowledge of others... sometimes growing pains include personal conflict, it seems...

  4. #84
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    One thing I found after awhile on the forum was that often you can take a subject that seems relatively benign and because of the personal experiences everyone brings to it which have affected them deeply, you can unwittingly step on landmines, or encounter negativity that seems unfairly harsh. As I've gotten to know different people's background stories here, it has helped me to better understand where they are coming from and not take it as personally. I think for me, the worst of it is when I get surprised by it when I was least expecting it because it makes me question my ability to read anything around me accurately and it is disorienting. While I don't know the back history anymore of a lot of members here, a few run ins like that have made me more aware than I used to be that we all come with different experiences and I need to be more sensitive to that rather than sounding too prescriptive or assuming there is one common shared experience. I think it also has helped me to not feel as horrible when people are hostile.

    The other thing I have found throughout my time on the forum is that every conflict filled exchange I have had here has ended up yielding productive results, either in understanding myself or other people better. I still dislike conflict in real life, but I think am coming to see that sometimes there is a useful purpose it serves when it does arise. It is emotionally and physically tiring for me though, and so I have found that when I do not have a lot of extra margin left emotionally, I need to limit what kinds of discussions I get into.

  5. #85
    meh Array Salomé's Avatar
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    Thank you, Eilonwy, for your appreciation. (Even if you did retract it before I had a chance to read it.)

    I find public appreciation a little tawdry, as a rule, but it's better than public evisceration. I suppose.

  6. #86
    Artisan Conquerer Array Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    As I've gotten older, I've started to notice what power there is in recognizing other people's efforts out loud and in front of others. I think back to the beginning of my time here and how much impact either a positive or negative comment had on me and on my courage to write what I thought.
    Hi fidelia!

    Once again you are intuitively aware of an important concept in life, that of gratitude.
    Please read the info below for details about a study done by Martin Seligman that nicely illustrates how gratitude towards others is important, and can even play a huge role in adding to our own life happiness:

    FROM: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/wh...ank-you-and-m/

    What’s the greatest way to say thank you – and make yourself happier at the same time?

    Quote Originally Posted by Barking Up The Wrong Tree
    It’s called a “gratitude visit” and research at the University of Pennsylvania by happiness expert Martin Seligman has shown it can dramatically increase your happiness.

    Close your eyes. Call up the face of someone still alive who years ago did something or said something that changed your life for the better. Someone who you never properly thanked; someone you could meet face-to-face next week. Got a face?

    Gratitude can make your life happier and more satisfying. When we feel gratitude, we benefit from the pleasant memory of a positive event in our life. Also, when we express our gratitude to others, we strengthen our relationship with them. But sometimes our thank-you is said so casually or quickly that it is nearly meaningless. In this exercise, called the “Gratitude Visit,” you will have the opportunity to experience what it is like to express your gratitude in a thoughtful, purposeful manner.

    Your task is to write a letter of gratitude to this individual and deliver it in person. The letter should be concrete and about three hundred words: be specific about what she did for you and how it affected your life. Let her know what you are doing now, and mention how you often remember what she did. Make it sing!

    Once you have written the testimonial, call the person and tell her you’d like to visit her, but be vague about the purpose of the meeting; this exercise is much more fun when it is a surprise. When you meet her, take your time reading your letter. Notice her reactions as well as yours. If she interrupts you as you read, say that you really want her to listen until you are done. After you have read the letter (every word), discuss the content and your feelings for each other.

    You will be happier and less depressed one month from now.

    Seligman left one thing out: Bring tissues.

    People cry when you do this. You will cry when you do this. Everyone cries, but it’s a good cry.
    Were it not for the wonderful people in my life, my life would be filled with much complexity and hardship.
    Thank God I've met the people I have, and that they chose to take the time and effort to enlighten me through our friendships.

    Love and Respect to My People,



    -Halla74
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  7. #87
    meh Array Salomé's Avatar
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    A
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia
    out loud and in front of others.
    B
    Quote Originally Posted by Halla
    write a letter of gratitude and deliver it in person
    A!=B

  8. #88
    Immanentize the Eschaton Array Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    The other thing I have found throughout my time on the forum is that every conflict filled exchange I have had here has ended up yielding productive results, either in understanding myself or other people better. I still dislike conflict in real life, but I think am coming to see that sometimes there is a useful purpose it serves when it does arise. It is emotionally and physically tiring for me though, and so I have found that when I do not have a lot of extra margin left emotionally, I need to limit what kinds of discussions I get into.
    I had wondered where this thread had gone... as far as I was concerned it had gone missing altogether. And, distracted by the other appreciation thread at the same time yesterday afternoon, seemingly missed that it had been *innocently* commented on...and subsequently brought back into current view.

    I definitely appreciate this comment from you fidelia as it matches my understanding of conflict as well. It's not fun...but it's Human. And often precisely what is needed to bring about greater understanding and positive growth. What generally causes me to get this look on my face -> though... is how much extraneous conflict is generated by the very individuals believing they are so very high above such a thing.

    And that's how I view these kinds of 'us against them' threads. When I looked at that 'A list' when it first came out (prior to being deleted)...there was not a person on there that I couldn't readily locate a post or two where they themselves had been acting in close-minded, conflict generating ways...and I'm an ENFP that is incapable of reading and/or attaching links & photos. Most of the individuals on that list would willingly admit that and perhaps...even felt uncomfortable being 'incorrectly' held-up as an 'A-lister' with the 'right kind of behavior' as a means to contrast (and I imagine inspire a change within) the Undesirables. But I get the very strong impression that some members on that list...truly do see themselves as being better... And thus the (appropriate imo) comments referring to things like 'circle jerk' start getting dished out once again.

    Being socially savvy, hitting all the right social marks, always maintaining a pleasing public front <- I think it is important to remain mindful that these things are not universally appreciated. And possessing these traits does not necessarily protect an individual from generating just as much conflict as the next guy (if not more in some instances as these very behaviors may create a massive, passive-aggressive blind spot.)

    Appreciation is an individual opinion and should be framed accordingly.





    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Hi fidelia!

    Once again you are intuitively aware of an important concept in life, that of gratitude.
    Please read the info below for details about a study done by Martin Seligman that nicely illustrates how gratitude towards others is important, and can even play a huge role in adding to our own life happiness:

    FROM: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/wh...ank-you-and-m/

    What’s the greatest way to say thank you – and make yourself happier at the same time?



    Were it not for the wonderful people in my life, my life would be filled with much complexity and hardship.
    Thank God I've met the people I have, and that they chose to take the time and effort to enlighten me through our friendships.

    Love and Respect to My People,



    -Halla74
    imo Halla is amazing.

  9. #89
    Vulnerability Array Eilonwy's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that my inept attempt to say something nice about some of the people whose posts I tend to follow, and so who I'm more familiar with, has instead hurt feelings. I apologize to anyone whose feelings I hurt for whatever reason: not including you in my list, including you in my list, calling attention to those who didn't want it. I would appreciate it if this thread would just sink back into the depths rather than continuing to cause pain.


    For those who aren't sure, this is sincere and not sarcastic.
    Johari / Nohari

    “That we are capable only of being what we are remains our unforgivable sin.” ― Gene Wolfe

    reminder to self: "That YOU that you are so proud of is a story woven together by your interpreter module to account for as much of your behavior as it can incorporate, and it denies or rationalizes the rest." "Who's in Charge? Free Will and the Science of the Brain" by Michael S. Gazzaniga

  10. #90
    figsfiggyfigs
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    I appreciate so many, but today, I particularly appreciate the existence of my pocket hero wind-up rex. She is an amazing, and supportive friend, who goes out of her way to help. She's truly a force to be reckoned with. <3

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