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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    Ene, greenfairy, Infinite Bubble, Jaqcues Le Paul, mingularity, Mole, superunknown, The Great One, Time, Zang

    There's some others that I could put on the list, but I'm not completely comfortable doing so.
    I feel a bit bad for forgetting @Mal+. Also, I've recently come to appreciate @Standuble.

    And, since the U mentioned Star Wars, it's noteworthy to add that these 2 fellas are well versed in its lore.

  2. #122
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    That's kinda the definition of a circle-jerk, right there...

    I see a lot of Fe bias in these threads - like the presupposition that conflict is a universally bad thing, and public ego-stroking a universally good one.
    That is probably true. Though, I don't know that it's necessarily the idea that conflict is universally bad as much as the idea that conflict essentially always makes some people feel bad. These people probably do tend to be Fs.

    Anyway, still, I don't think it's accurate to immediately assume they're superficial or cliquish, or that the people writing in them are being passive-aggressive because they mention some names but not others. It seems strange to me to extrapolate so far from a thread whose premise is very simple. (Of course, admittedly, it could also be that I may not be seeing some of the passive-aggression. I don't know everyone's interpersonal issues and I may well be blind to jabs I didn't know were jabs.)

    If the same positive comments had been communicated privately, then only the positive part of the message would have been transmitted - sans drama. It seems like a simple solution to me, but I guess there are those people who need to be seen doing their appreciation thing. On one level I find that distasteful.
    I do understand what you're saying about it failing and becoming a public spectacle, but at least personally I don't find the effort distasteful. It's curious to me that some people do find overt intentional attempts to cultivate positive feeling to be unpleasant. At least as far as I understand it, the idea of doing it in public doesn't have much to do with ego-stroking and it has more to do with producing an environment where people say positive-feeling things as much as negative-feeling things.

    For some people, myself included, negativity really impacts our internal state, and overwhelming negativity makes it difficult to get anything out of the forum exchanges. To me, this sort of thread is an attempt to create a temporary haven for the sort of people who might be deterred by forum conflict but are heartened by efforts like this; it helps those people feel more comfortable in the forum despite the conflict that periodically arises. There are quite a few posters who I think are repelled by frequent and negative conflict but have insightful and worthwhile ideas to add to the forum, and to me it seems worth a few threads like this to keep them feeling good and enjoying the forum. Given this explanation, one can see why passive-aggression would be in contradiction with the intention of such a thread (not that some people might not coopt it and use it for that).

    There is also a huge difference, at least to me, between conflict that arises as part of intellectual debate and conflict that becomes interpersonal and overrides debate. Salomé, I think you are a prime example of someone who does deal in rawness and conflict, but personally I appreciate your presence on the forum because you always seem to prioritize ideas and knowledge. Zarathustra is another member I see in a similar light, though his energy is quite different - anyway he tends to be more dynamic and harsh but I am fine reading through any conflict because of his overriding pursuit of ideas and knowledge. But there are other instances - trolling being the major example - where the goal of interpersonal conflict overrides the focus on intellectual exchange, and in that case, I don't find the forum worth the personal energy expenditure. When I'm left with no good ideas to chew on and just an overall feeling of upset, it's not worth participating here anymore to me.

    I guess for those who aren't made to feel good by something like this, then it's hard to see why it would be useful, but like you said, the MBTI teaches us at least that we are all different.

  3. #123
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü™ View Post
    Jennifer, for being like Lexicon, except older, and has actually seen Star Wars.
    Not only that, but I've seen it on Beta.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Not only that, but I've seen it on Beta.
    Scratch older. You're just old.

    EDIT: Oh and BTW, I've seen it on 8MM.

  5. #125
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü™ View Post
    Scratch older. You're just old.
    Not nearly as old as Carrie Fisher.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Not nearly as old as Carrie Fisher.
    She's the walking dead.

  7. #127
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I do understand what you're saying about it failing and becoming a public spectacle, but at least personally I don't find the effort distasteful. It's curious to me that some people do find overt intentional attempts to cultivate positive feeling to be unpleasant. At least as far as I understand it, the idea of doing it in public doesn't have much to do with ego-stroking and it has more to do with producing an environment where people say positive-feeling things as much as negative-feeling things.
    In some sense, much of what passes for "polite conversation" can be considered a "circle-jerk": you scratch my back, I scratch yours; we do this little verbal dance, the steps of which should be familiar to everyone. I get very impatient with that. The idea of public appreciation makes me think of awards presentations at work or school, something else I have little patience with. Many organizations including mine do this, however, and every management/leadership training I have taken describes it as a necessity for team-building. (That might depend on who exactly is on your team . . . ) I would prefer getting such things from my boss in her office, without the public spectacle.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    There is also a huge difference, at least to me, between conflict that arises as part of intellectual debate and conflict that becomes interpersonal and overrides debate.
    This is an important distinction. Conflict is an unavoidable by-product of discussion of certain topics, but I don't understand how a thread focused on appreciation would be one of them. So far, no one has taken issue with any of the appreciation offered, as in: "Member X doesn't do that at all; why are you appreciating him for it?" Taking issue with the thread premise itself is rather silly. People who find such threads pointless or counterproductive should just ignore them, just as with any other thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I guess for those who aren't made to feel good by something like this, then it's hard to see why it would be useful, but like you said, the MBTI teaches us at least that we are all different.
    And that is the bottom line. Public appreciation doesn't do much for me, though seems more tolerable here since it is less of a spectacle than those presentations at work. I understand that others enjoy it, though, and if I care about them, will attempt to offer some now and then, rather than hold everyone to my own tastes and standards. So far, I have received only positive responses from my contributions of this nature, so will continue to make them as ideas come to mind.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    In some sense, much of what passes for "polite conversation" can be considered a "circle-jerk": you scratch my back, I scratch yours; we do this little verbal dance, the steps of which should be familiar to everyone. I get very impatient with that. The idea of public appreciation makes me think of awards presentations at work or school, something else I have little patience with. Many organizations including mine do this, however, and every management/leadership training I have taken describes it as a necessity for team-building. (That might depend on who exactly is on your team . . . ) I would prefer getting such things from my boss in her office, without the public spectacle.
    We have that sort of thing at my work, too. We have recognition slips that are entered into a large pot, and then a drawing for winners. The recognition slips are read aloud by our grumpy manager who rarely ever gives compliments, much less actually writes slips himself. It is generally acknowledged to be farcical because the awards given depend almost entirely on people deciding to write slips, and barely at all on actual employee performance.

    I can see the parallel here in that the people "appreciated" may be doing very little, but being that the threads are completely optional, it seems mostly harmless to me. And it is accurate in the sense that for those who have decided to speak up, evidently the people they are mentioning have touched them deeply enough to make them want to say it aloud. Maybe it's not reflective of overall effort or performance, but it does acknowledge something real.

    As a side note, an interesting thing I have noticed - even though at work we do all see the practice as a joke, people do complain when they haven't done it in a long time. It's bizarre, but I would have to say that it does improve employee morale - as opposed to nothing. I think we would all be happier with consistent, accurate private recognition, but public recognition, even if inconsistent and inaccurate, appears to be better than no recognition at all. Perhaps that is why it continues to be taught.

    I don't think it's really about "team building" as much as just feeling like your efforts are appreciated at work, though. I would definitely argue against the "team building" premise... I think the mere phrase "team building" makes most of us cringe.

    This is an important distinction. Conflict is an unavoidable by-product of discussion of certain topics, but I don't understand how a thread focused on appreciation would be one of them. So far, no one has taken issue with any of the appreciation offered, as in: "Member X doesn't do that at all; why are you appreciating him for it?" Taking issue with the thread premise itself is rather silly. People who find such threads pointless or counterproductive should just ignore them, just as with any other thread.

    And that is the bottom line. Public appreciation doesn't do much for me, though seems more tolerable here since it is less of a spectacle than those presentations at work. I understand that others enjoy it, though, and if I care about them, will attempt to offer some now and then, rather than hold everyone to my own tastes and standards. So far, I have received only positive responses from my contributions of this nature, so will continue to make them as ideas come to mind.
    Yes, exactly, I agree with this completely.

    I totally understand preferring to give affirmation in private and I feel like my personal ratio of public:private affirmation is very low. Public is much more complex, I feel like, because it does require a higher level of tact and taste to do in a way that the majority will not take issue with, and even then it still can fail spectacularly. But some take the risk in the name of a better forum, and I appreciate efforts like Eilonwy's for that reason.

    I think "live and let live" over all.

  9. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü™ View Post
    @Duck_of_Death, for having exquisite taste in movies and video games. I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm looking in the mirror.
    Thanks, I guess.

  10. #130
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü™ View Post
    @Webslinger, for agreeing with me about that egg skull thingy.
    Thanks for the mention. I often enjoy reading your thoughts in that thread, actually.
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