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  1. #41
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Biggest? When my husband died.

    Then there have been the many small epiphanies along the way usually when I figured out I was stressing out for all the wrong reasons and it was perfectly OK to let go. I had one of these yesterday - today it's easy to smile with that load off my mind.

  2. #42
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I don't like to talk about events that changed me because I fear it will serve no other use than to raise pity with is the opposite of what I think it should serve. In fact, despite the nature of these events, right now I wouldn't want to change a thing. Because they shaped me, I wouldn't be the same without experiencing them. And quite frankly, I enjoy who I am.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words of Ivory View Post
    Considering the circumstances, I'd probably call you a freakin' optimist! Or a realist, at the least.

    You're well aware of the reality of the situation. I've seen people crumble far worse under similar experiences. You're still here. Maybe a little indifferent to everything because of what you've been through, but still here nonetheless.

    I think you'll figure it all out eventually. You at least know what road not to take.
    When I look at my past I see a normal childhood.

  4. #44
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I don't like to talk about events that changed me because I fear it will serve no other use than to raise pity with is the opposite of what I think it should serve. In fact, despite the nature of these events, right now I wouldn't want to change a thing. Because they shaped me, I wouldn't be the same without experiencing them. And quite frankly, I enjoy who I am.
    I don't pity people (unless I'm dating them). I just think it's educational. You can pick positive events too.

  5. #45
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    I've had several over the years. Each one of them related to a key decision that I made and stuck with. For the most part, they have been good decisions. Sometimes you reflect back and think what would have happened if I hadn't decided to to X or Y and done something else instead? Your live would be completely different.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  6. #46

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    Learning to read was life changing but I didnt realise it at the time, getting motivated to read, something entirely different and a slow process was a great leap forward.

    I remember the day I transgressed against my own deep seated prejudices for the first time and read a book which I believed was anatheama to my views and truth per se. I remember the title of that book too, it was full price and expensive. I read it with the idea that I'd find it ridiculdous or critique and attack it. It didnt exactly work out that way but it was an epiphany, it was like moving to a horizon and discovering another one, there was an entire world I'd voluntarily cut myself off from. In this experience I opened myself up to talking to, reading about and being introduced to myriad perspectives and views, without necessarily being receptive to them. That was a milestone crossed.

    I remember my first face to face encounters with homeless, rough sleeping people from the inner city, many not that much younger than myself, while I was volunteering in a project for them. I recognised how sheltered an existence I had had growing up. In fact I realised how much of a sheltered community context I'd come from. That for some people life was nasty, brutish, short and also cheap. This shattered many of the illusions I had at that time about poverty, welfare, socialism. Some of my views survived, some of them didnt.

    In my own family there's been serious trauma, in a personal way I would make this comparable to surviving the holocaust or atrocity, its only retrospectively or reflectively that I realise how close this came to killing me and the extent to which it has had a formative or transformative impact on all family members.

    Three times I've fallen in love, its never worked out. However, it really has had a formative influence upon me, I think I've got a better appreciation of love and a sense of perspective I otherwise wouldnt have. I'm also really glad for the fact that I dont have a failed marriage or children or anything like that, which I know happened to others I was at school with who ploughed head long into relationships to the neglect of all other things.

  7. #47
    ThatGirl
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    In my profession you see a LOT of people in the later years of life who are riddled with humility, frustration, and well just a bunch of other shit.

    Patients that have stuck out in my mind and changed my perception.

    Little old Asian lady: Happy as can be, always has a calm smile on her face, even when she has been waiting for hours. Love her.

    Guy I found annoying: Walked in one day with a six inch scar and staples in the right side of his head. Brain tumor, results, cancerous. It was the change in his disposition the way he spoke.

    Guy with shingles in the eye: Who at every moment (this is intensely painful) expressed a happy appreciation for the care he was given, as though he were surprised somehow.

    Aged Te: The most annoying function of the elderly.

    Sad and miserable old couples

    Happy old couples


    In essence my current job, has been one of those life changing moments. Where I see the world not in a new way, but with different priorities.
    Last edited by ThatGirl; 08-28-2010 at 02:31 PM.

  8. #48
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
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    - when i first fell in love. it was like this whole other world opened up and i suddenly understood what everyone was banging on about. before i thought it was just something humans told themselves existed so they could get regular sex/comfort. and discovering disabling, broken hearted pain that i could physically feel in my guts and chest was the flipside of that epiphany.

    - when i travelled internationally for the first time. similar kind of revelation in that there are experiences/lifestyles/climates/environments out there that are different and beautiful and the way i had lived my life isn't necessarily the only/best way. you can know that from an academic point of view - but experiencing it for yourself is wonderful.

    i kind of want to have another life changing moment soon. i'm due for one and i love them!

  9. #49
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    - when i first fell in love. it was like this whole other world opened up and i suddenly understood what everyone was banging on about. before i thought it was just something humans told themselves existed so they could get regular sex/comfort. and discovering disabling, broken hearted pain that i could physically feel in my guts and chest was the flipside of that epiphany.
    I remember feeling this for the first time and listening to the radio, thinking, "Lol, they don't have a clue!"

    THAT was cool.

  10. #50
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    My whole summer at Discipleship Focus. Imagine never really feeling like anyone cares about you and suddenly you come to this place where you are completely valued and loved. That was the place I discovered my humorous and silly personality, where I learned that I'm no longer bound by my past and every single mistake I've made, I can move forward in life and KNOW that I'm valued. I came out with a confidence I didn't have before. I made friends-not shallow friendships, but heart to heart sisters and brothers.

    I don't worry anymore, not alone anymore, not scared, not hopeless. There are so many possibilities out there and I can do what ever I want in life AND succeed. I'm not the same person I was and I'm so happy.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

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