That's one of the troubles though with painkillers. It's easier to ignore the root cause of the pain and not get it dealt with. The longer you leave it, the more chronic and serious of a condition it may be masking and the less treatment options there are left available to you. A lot of people don't want to know how serious a problem they may have or what the pain means just in case it's untreatable. Meanwhile, they cut down the chances of it being treated and maybe it's less serious of a problem than they think if they can look at it close up. Alcohol is a kind of painkiller that used once in awhile is quite effective. Used chronically, it can keep you from finding many of the things that matter to you most.
I assume you've probably thought about why there's all that pent up aggression towards the world? The unfortunate thing is that in dealing with your frustration that way, you are also punishing yourself.