A friend of mine got married a bit over a year ago - I believe she was 23, he about 36. He's divorced and has a couple of pre-teen/teenage boys. It all happened pretty fast. She always dated guys who were much older than her and I had the impression she was looking for a father figure - unfortunately her dad left when she was about ten and was an utter loser. I was a bit worried about the whole thing.
I live on the other side of the world and just hear from her occasionally. She no longer lives in our home town either and I don't think has kept in touch with a lot of mutual friends (though we did have a lot of mutual friends and I'm in touch with some at least). I thought they might have been struggling in some ways at least financially...I knew he was self employed in some trade, they're in small town Canada, living in a trailer, she works at Starbucks, etc. But overall I didn't think things sounded too bad.
Here's the thing. I finally sent them a wedding gift of sorts (I know, extremely belated), just a cheque. I thought it was possible there might be problems with cashing it because I live in another country, but in Canada I'd never had problems with cashing foreign cheques, not even commission or whatever. She emailed me and thanked me for the gift and said she'd asked the bank and it should be ok to cash it.
But...today I got an email from her saying she couldn't cash it. Not because it's foreign. I made it out to her husband's name - I just thought it likely he was dealing more with the finances than her. But she tells me she can't cash the cheque...because he doesn't have a bank account, only she does.
I just wrote back and said no problem, I'll just send her another one in her name, and she can destroy the first one. But my reaction...WTF? A grown working man with no bank account?
It just really worries me...I wondered what others thought. My gut reaction is that a self-employed adult with no bank account is either doing some dodgy tax thing, or is a paranoiac who thinks the government is out to get us, or both...I cannot really think of any good reason.
I really hope she is ok as I have known her much of my life and she's like my little sister! This just freaked me out. And I needed to vent.
Why would this guy not have a bank account??