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  1. #1
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Default Where/how did meet your closest friends?

    I've noticed a pattern, that I seem to have met my closest friends a long time ago. 10+years or more ago. Newer people, for some reason don't quite stay in the "close friend" circle.

    I'm thinking of moving abroad soon, and I'll be parting ways with all my friends close or not close, and realized I might not know exactly how to keep friendships. I'm terrible at keeping in touch, and life seems to always take me away from my friends. It's sort of tough imagining I won't be able to keep any of my friends in my new life too.


    So, I'm interested, where/how did meet your closest friends?

  2. #2
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    ^ Good luck with it

    I met my closest female friend when I was in 1st grade. We grew up together.

    Many of my male friends I consider close I met in the army, so work-related I suppose. The ones I didnt meet in the army I met through a boyfriend that was more extroverted than I was at the time.

    Work's usually a good place to meet people imo.
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  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I've noticed a pattern, that I seem to have met my closest friends a long time ago. 10+years or more ago. Newer people, for some reason don't quite stay in the "close friend" circle.

    I'm thinking of moving abroad soon, and I'll be parting ways with all my friends close or not close, and realized I might not know exactly how to keep friendships. I'm terrible at keeping in touch, and life seems to always take me away from my friends. It's sort of tough imagining I won't be able to keep any of my friends in my new life too.


    So, I'm interested, where/how did meet your closest friends?
    Yeah, this is tough if you don't like talking on the telephone. I moved away from my two closest female friends years ago and we stayed close through talking on the telephone. But if the telephone is not your thing then yeah it will be hard to stay in touch in the same way.

    I think what Kiwi said is true about meeting people at work or school. Mainly because of proximity and the frequency of seeing them. When we are adults we tend to we bond over shared hardships and then before you know it, bam, you're friends.

    There is also shared interests or hobbies, which is something I am trying to explore more now myself because I want more local friends that don't necessarily have to do with work or school. The key is that it has to be something that you *do* in person, not something that is based online, where you have to suck up large amounts of your time using electronic networking tools to communicate verbally or bond. So this means getting out a lot and/or joining groups.

    At the very least there is the easiest method, imo, which is making friends online. You can keep these friends forever no matter where you or they move to because the basis of your interaction is online. The downside to that is that you miss the type of unique bonding/learning that normally happens in person, which can not be replicated online. But it can fulfill a certain part of whatever that thing is that makes us want to have friends, just so you can get by without feeling too lonely.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Pixelholic's Avatar
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    I actually consider my closest friends to be my most recent friends that I've met in grad school. They're the first people that I've really connected with. Most of my old friends are long gone (mostly because I grew up and they didn't.) I have a couple really good friends that I met in 2nd and 4th grade respectively that I try to keep some contact with but we rarely talk anymore
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” -Nietzsche

  5. #5
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    Real life friends - High school. I moved away years ago and we don't meet regularly, but whenever we do, it's like nothing has changed. Going on a second decade now.

    I can agree that "new" people come and go.

    Online friends - online, duh. (and yes, I really do consider the closer ones as close friends)

  6. #6
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
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    I met my best friend, an ENFP, about nine years ago in the sixth grade. I hated her instantly and vice versa. Within weeks, we realized we had become best friends -- with no idea how. We've been close since then.

    The few other people that I consider close were from a job I had in high school. I don't always talk to them, but when I do -- it feels as though conversation never ended, we just pick up from where we left off.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Yeah, this is tough if you don't like talking on the telephone. I moved away from my two closest female friends years ago and we stayed close through talking on the telephone. But if the telephone is not your thing then yeah it will be hard to stay in touch in the same way.
    Oh I don't want to keep in touch. I still believe the ones that are really worthy will be the same if I ever visit home again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I think what Kiwi said is true about meeting people at work or school. Mainly because of proximity and the frequency of seeing them. When we are adults we tend to we bond over shared hardships and then before you know it, bam, you're friends.
    Oh I made lots of friends in my current job. Everyone loves me. But I'm gonna quit in two weeks to move on with my life :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    There is also shared interests or hobbies, which is something I am trying to explore more now myself because I want more local friends that don't necessarily have to do with work or school. The key is that it has to be something that you *do* in person, not something that is based online, where you have to suck up large amounts of your time using electronic networking tools to communicate verbally or bond. So this means getting out a lot and/or joining groups.
    That's a problem for me. I don't DO anything. Might hobbies are all passive. Music, movies, videogames...I'd like to try other things...maybe when I move.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    At the very least there is the easiest method, imo, which is making friends online. You can keep these friends forever no matter where you or they move to because the basis of your interaction is online. The downside to that is that you miss the type of unique bonding/learning that normally happens in person, which can not be replicated online. But it can fulfill a certain part of whatever that thing is that makes us want to have friends, just so you can get by without feeling too lonely.
    Yeah, I have a few I guess. Or used to anyway. I've spent too much of my life in front of the internet already.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
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    Cub Scouts I suppose.

  9. #9
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    i've been in boarding school since i was 10. and have
    lived abroad most of my life. no real roots anywhere.
    my closest friends, i've known over 10+ years also.

    i don't keep in touch either. but when we meet up, after
    2-3 years. it's like i just saw them yesterday.

    i dig it. no frills.

    one i've known since i was 5. he and i never keep in touch.
    but when he's in town. we hang almost everyday. until
    his insecure gf gets pissed.

    the other two i met at 13, and 16. they're born on the same day
    of the same year. they're really the only two girl friends i have.
    we've never fought once.

    i notice that with close friends, we don't hangout "traditionally".
    we just sorta hang. sit and talk about nonsense. i haven't gone
    out to dinner with them or anything in such a long time.

    i guess it doesn't matter what we do. because we just pick
    the conversation right up, and who gives a shit if we eat
    if we haven't seen each other in 3 years.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  10. #10
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Grade school.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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