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Thread: For Mothers

  1. #1
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    Default For Mothers

    Here's another "Tell gromit about _____" thread, this one for mothers.

    I'm both fascinated and a tiny bit weirded out by trying to imagine the physical experience of pregnancy.


    What did it feel like to you? Did you like it or hate it or just find it different? What was the most surprising part for you? Did it really divert energy from your brain?

    Did you find people interacted with you differently?




    Fathers I guess you can post too... in a second-hand way.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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    Mother of all thread ideas! I am interested in hearing about behind the scenes also.

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    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Go on then .. Whilst pregnant i had a love/hate relationship going on with it. I loved feelings the kicks especially when in the bath. I had a glow about me which was lovely and i enjoyed waddling down the road. Down side, 9 months is a long time and you keep on getting fatter and fatter around the belly. You have to improvise with sex because of the big lump and that's if you are getting any .. Why do some men worry about sticking it in when pregnant, the damage is already done darling, lol. People want to touch your tummy all the time, leave me alone. They mean well though.

    Divert energy from my brain, wasn't thinking about it, i was nesting.

    I loved labour and would be willing to be a suragate mum for a member of my family but everyone seems very fertile so maybe not.

    Very interesting experience. I only wish i was older when i had my children (although i wouldn't change it for the world now) as some people were nasty to me. I was a young parent.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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    What did it feel like to you?
    I absolutely hated it. I've never been jealous of birds or reptiles and their egg-laying abilities but...
    Some women love it...sheeeeaaaat.
    It does feel mighty strange to feel a little one inside turning around searching for a comfortable position to settle in. Or to feel them stretch (and likely yawn). Or to feel them move and then stop and listen because they either hear you or someone close by speak.
    Yes--you can feel and tell what they're doing.

    Did you like it or hate it or just find it different?
    I hated it. One of the worst things was having all of these things go on and have little to no control over them. Pregnancy, childbirth, and childrearing all involve yielding in a major way. It also sparks animal instincts that can be uncomfortable or unpleasant to deal with. You must learn to bend, to accept, and keep going. For me, it was scary, too. I always had some crap go down while I was pregnant and the last one almost killed me. I had severe preeclampsia and placenta abruptio (placenta separated before delivery) and the two of us almost didn't make it.

    What was the most surprising part for you?
    That I actually cared for the little one before I even saw them. It didn't kick in really until around 7 months but it was there. That my body actually knew what to do without needing to be instructed--you know, that humans do have some instinctual behaviors and they are there for a reason.

    Did it really divert energy from your brain?
    Neh--that comes after the little folk arrive. A lot of creative energy in women is siphoned off in rearing children. I used to write before and between kids--I seem to have lost the trick of it after this last one. I will say that with each one I got spacey close to the end. I obsessed over some things--like nesting (that mess is not a joke) and found it harder to tune into other people. That's just a way of your body and mind preparing for the trial ahead. To me, it felt like I was turning inward and conserving my energies.

    Did you find people interacted with you differently?
    Yes--I got all kinds of comments that I would normally not have received. I think people perceive a pregnant woman as especially approachable so they feel they can talk to you, give you advice, tell you their business, instruct you on how not to have anymore...

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    Oh wow... thanks for your responses, saslou (even though you're gone ) and Redbone.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    ooh! I just found this thread. For awhile I was totally into pregnancy/childbirth/breastfeeding and educating people about them. I have drifted away from it some but I still have a soft spot for the motherly arts.


    What did it feel like to you? Physically, it felt like a balloon was slowly being inflated in the bottom of my abdomen over the course of a few months. I could feel my uterus rise up slowly as it grew and frequently pushed down on the top of it to see how far it had gone. Some of it was uncomfortable- particularly toward the end, when I was lugging that thing around in front. I had some bad hip pain both times. Mentally, it was weird and wonderful to observe a little creature getting bigger and bigger in there, flipping around, jumping on my bladder, and punching the walls. Emotionally, it was interesting to become attached to someone I hadn't yet met.

    Did you like it or hate it or just find it different? A little bit of all three, I guess. I hated that I felt tired all the time and got winded climbing a single flight of stairs. But I loved that I was experiencing things every mother in the history of forever had experienced. Childbirth was the same way for me. Never have I felt more connected to the line of human mothers going back to prehistory. We have a pretty unique birth experience among mammals and primates in that our large heads and upright stance means our babies have to be born before they're really ready. So when they come out, we have to provide an "outside womb" for them for the first few months while they finish developing and start getting aware of their surroundings. It was interesting to think about what that experience must have been like for our prehistoric ancestors.

    What was the most surprising part for you? That my body would just take over and do what it was meant to do, without any conscious control from my mind. That was reassuring.

    Did it really divert energy from your brain? I think that's a myth. If anything you are not getting great sleep because you have to pee all the time, and that can make a person a little hazier mentally.

    Did you find people interacted with you differently? YES. My belly apparently extended outside my personal space bubble, because people apparently felt welcome to put their hands all over it without asking. Even strangers. They also felt compelled to give me all kinds of advice, even though I knew more about pregnancy than just about any of them (with the exception of my midwives, who I paid for their advice so that was okay)
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    So when they come out, we have to provide an "outside womb" for them for the first few months while they finish developing and start getting aware of their surroundings.
    Ivy, did you carry your little one in a sling? I carried all of mine in a sling and rarely used a stroller. People thought I was seriously nuts but there was nothing like still being able to be out in public while the LO was nursing in the sling and nobody knew.
    With my last one, I got introduced to different types of carriers--wraps, mei tais, etc., and used them a lot. It's the ONLY way to roll with a little one. I'm really big on 'motherly' arts myself. Okay...I'm surprised that I am, too.

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    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Ivy, did you carry your little one in a sling? I carried all of mine in a sling and rarely used a stroller. People thought I was seriously nuts but there was nothing like still being able to be out in public while the LO was nursing in the sling and nobody knew.
    With my last one, I got introduced to different types of carriers--wraps, mei tais, etc., and used them a lot. It's the ONLY way to roll with a little one. I'm really big on 'motherly' arts myself. Okay...I'm surprised that I am, too.
    Yes! I went a little nuts with baby carriers actually. I used a ring-sling (Maya wrap) with #1, but when #2 came around I got a bit more adventurous and used a Didymos mostly. God I loved that thing. Nothing like nursing while walking around in Target, and having old ladies come up and admire the baby from a foot or two away, but not know he's nursing.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

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    Thanks Ivy for contributing too!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    But I loved that I was experiencing things every mother in the history of forever had experienced. Childbirth was the same way for me. Never have I felt more connected to the line of human mothers going back to prehistory. We have a pretty unique birth experience among mammals and primates in that our large heads and upright stance means our babies have to be born before they're really ready. So when they come out, we have to provide an "outside womb" for them for the first few months while they finish developing and start getting aware of their surroundings. It was interesting to think about what that experience must have been like for our prehistoric ancestors.
    Are you a spiritual person? Would you consider the experience spiritual? I have heard other women describe it that way...
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Thanks Ivy for contributing too!



    Are you a spiritual person? Would you consider the experience spiritual? I have heard other women describe it that way...
    Not exactly.. it's about as plain-old-natural (as opposed to supernatural) as it gets. Which, I guess, might be my form of spirituality, but I don't feel like a particularly spiritual person.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

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