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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Default INTP-INTJ interactions

    One would think these two types would get along great (and sometimes they do), but a lot of times the interactions and dialogue are very strange. And if I think the dialogue is strange, that's saying something.

    It's hard to describe. It almost has a vibe like: I know you're different and you know I'm different, I know you're intelligent and have some interesting things to talk about and vice versa, but, for a reason I can't quite put my finger on, this is awkward and I should get going now.

    The INTJ throws out some Te explanation, then I kind of turn his explanation upside down and present an alternative or "some other way of looking at it". He looks confused (and perhaps intrigued), ponders a minute, then kind of goes in a different direction and talks about something else. Repeat.

    Example:
    INTP: Someone stole something out my car.
    INTJ: I'd be pissed. Are you pissed?
    INTP: Well, yeah, but I'm not going to let it affect my "day-to-day".
    INTJ: <Ponders>

    INTJ: I don't get close to people because I've learned that I can't trust them. Haven't you found that to be the case?
    INTP: Well, I don't get close just because I like my alone time and my space, but how do I know if I can or cannot trust someone unless I get close to them? If I get to know them a bit, then and only then can I determine whether I think I can trust them or not. If I never get close to them, then I don't really have enough information to make a decision like that. It would just be pre-judgement or speculation.
    INTJ: Hmmm. Goes into his "think tank" while rubbing his beard. (starts talking about something else).

    We just don't connect. We respect what each other are saying we both know there's a lot of depth there, but it just gets strange.

    It's like there is every reason in the world why the two types should talk and share ideas, but neither really wants to and it just gets - wierd! I walk away not knowing whether to classify the conversation as "really cool" or "from Mars"?

    Similar experiences? What are your thoughts after an INTP/INTJ conversation? I'd like to hear from both sides. What is it like for you?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  2. #2
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Default

    Oops! I meant to post this in the NT forum. Can a mod possibly move this to the NT forum? It would be greatly appreciated.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  3. #3
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    Default

    Oh.
    Between that cigarillo and sticking my finger down my throat to see if I could DT, I feel like puking RN.

    Read my Blog.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Reflection's Avatar
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    Does that mean you're pondering this, paperoceans?

    Anyway, I don't have that problem with INTJs. We get along just fine and I actually appreciate the fact that they get distracted. Besides, sometimes I won't answer the question posed myself right away - but I'll get back to you as soon as I figure it out. Even if it's after a few days.
    Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

  5. #5
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reflection View Post
    Does that mean you're pondering this, paperoceans?

    Anyway, I don't have that problem with INTJs. We get along just fine and I actually appreciate the fact that they get distracted. Besides, sometimes I won't answer the question posed myself right away - but I'll get back to you as soon as I figure it out. Even if it's after a few days.
    Not pondering, it's me not caring.
    Between that cigarillo and sticking my finger down my throat to see if I could DT, I feel like puking RN.

    Read my Blog.

  6. #6
    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
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    Haha! That sort of thing happens between me and my INTJ friend quite often - especially when we're debating about something.

    It's REALLY strange. It's mutually understood that we're capable of understanding each other on an intellectual level, but the miscommunication still happens. It's like we're talking about the same thing, but we're not really talking about the same thing.

    I'm gonna try to dig up a couple of MSN convo's to give you some examples.
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    "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King
    The worst mistake people make in political arguments is assuming that the other side is not trying to do the right thing. This simple oversight makes productive conversation nearly impossible.

  7. #7
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    INTJ: I don't get close to people because I've learned that I can't trust them. Haven't you found that to be the case?
    INTP: Well, I don't get close just because I like my alone time and my space, but how do I know if I can or cannot trust someone unless I get close to them? If I get to know them a bit, then and only then can I determine whether I think I can trust them or not. If I never get close to them, then I don't really have enough information to make a decision like that. It would just be pre-judgement or speculation.
    INTJ: Hmmm. Goes into his "think tank" while rubbing his beard. (starts talking about something else).
    I have a close friend who is INTP and we often have discussions that end up this way. Specifically, he states that he can't offer an opinion because he doesn't have enough information. This could be about anything: the economy, dangers of sunscreens with nanoparticles, best way to grow tomatoes, etc. I prefer to form an opinion, but then remain open to revising it as I learn more. That way, if I need to make a related decision, I have given it some consideration based upon available information.

    More unexpectedly, this INTP seems unwilling/unable to handle disagreement using facts. An example conversation:

    INTP: I think we should do X.
    Coriolis: I think we should do Y instead because [lists reasons in favor of doing Y, and problems that result from doing X].
    INTP: There! I told you my opinion, and you just discount it.
    C: No, I didn't discount it, I just don't agree with it. I explained why I think Y is better. Can you tell me why you think X is better, or if you think there are errors in what I've said about Y?
    INTP: I don't want to argue about this. It just makes more sense to do X.
    C: Why? Show me how/why it makes more sense?

    The conversation just deteriorates from there. I would have expected INTPs to have a greater capacity to analyze alternatives objectively. What gives, INTPs????

  8. #8
    Senior Member Stevo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    INTP: I think we should do X.
    Coriolis: I think we should do Y instead because [lists reasons in favor of doing Y, and problems that result from doing X].
    INTP: There! I told you my opinion, and you just discount it.
    C: No, I didn't discount it, I just don't agree with it. I explained why I think Y is better. Can you tell me why you think X is better, or if you think there are errors in what I've said about Y?
    INTP: I don't want to argue about this. It just makes more sense to do X.
    C: Why? Show me how/why it makes more sense?
    You should know that one of the biggest tenets of thinking objectively is avoiding generalization. You're considering that INTP to apply to all INTPs when it is one mere anecdote of what may be an especially immature INTP. I will always listen to someone's opinions for and against doing something and if I find that their opinion is logical, I shall reverse my decision and go with theirs. And if I seem to not be, just point it out to me and I will most likely slap myself for being shamefully unobjective and give your points more consideration.

  9. #9
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I prefer to form an opinion, but then remain open to revising it as I learn more. That way, if I need to make a related decision, I have given it some consideration based upon available information.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stevo View Post
    You should know that one of the biggest tenets of thinking objectively is avoiding generalization. You're considering that INTP to apply to all INTPs when it is one mere anecdote of what may be an especially immature INTP.
    Hmmmm... I see it.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Stevo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Hmmmm... I see it.
    Ahhh. Very good point.

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