I almost spit my water on my monitor as I read an email from my fiance saying he had to throw out two pieces of bread because he had laid them on the counter to prep his lunch, turned around to grab the lunch meat, and by the time he had turned back around my cat was chowing down on the bread already.
Well I was feeling lonesome one day
So I thought maybe I'd go and visit one of them Get-a-Date websites
But I musta gone to the wrong one
Because they set me up with a she-giraffe
When I had specifically filled out on the form
That taller women intimidate me.
But hey, I figured what the hell
I'll give it a shot.
So I took my she-giraffe out to the roller garden.
I had to rent her two pairs of skates.
Later we went down to the lake to watch the sunset
And I was like "Baby, wasn't that a beauuutiful sunset?"
And she was like "What you talkin' 'bout,
the sun hasn't set yet...ahhh, there it goes.
That was a beautiful sunset."
First it turns yellow then orange to red
That's when you know it's time for bed
Bedtime for the sun
but not for you and I
We gonna stay out and party all night
So we ended up going out on a second date the next week.
And she was ramblin' on about this and that and blah blah blah
And I started thinking about what our kids would be like
if things got serious.
Well, they'd probably be good at basketball
and I'd be likin' that.
They'd be like little Kareem Abdul Giraffes and that'd be cool.
Well we went back to tat same lake
and this time I was prepared.
I brought a ladder so we could watch the sunset at the same time.
And so we could make out.
Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.
I swung by the house with my friend to eat supper before we went to a meeting. Earlier in the day my mom had left the coffee pot on and I forgot to turn it off so she soapy water in the carafe to soak it. It was a bit chaotic with eight people in the house and no one noticed when my friend poured herself a cup of 'coffee.' The funny part is that she drank more than one drink of the stuff and didn't realize there was a problem until my mom caught my son trying to pour some in his milk. I missed the whole thing, but when I came home from the meeting and my mom told me about it I thought I was going to die.
And yes, I know I'm mean.
“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.” ~ John Rogers