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View Poll Results: Have you posted your picture?

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  • I have posted my picture

    48 72.73%
  • I haven't posted my picture and wouldn't

    8 12.12%
  • I haven't and probably will (I feel indifferent about doing so)

    4 6.06%
  • I haven't and am undecided (sometimes I want to)

    6 9.09%
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Thread: Un-Picture time

  1. #61
    Mud and rain and chaos... TickTock's Avatar
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    I'll throw in why I haven't and wouldn't as I haven't answered.

    Similar to some of the other answers...

    Firstly a big difference in the 3d world is that words are momentary and people forget what is said or move on. Words online once written are there to be seen, unless you go through and delete everything.

    A second part to that is that you can choose who you speak to.

    Thirdly, I am a different person around different people and that effects what I choose to do and say around them. Online I don't have that luxury. So as far as I'm concerned things can be taken out of context for what I was at the time.

    People change, I've been on here for a couple of years now and there are things that I've said when I needed advice, when I wasn't as positive a person (even positive things have been a little stupid now and then) and I didn't want to go to people I saw on a regular basis.

    So there we haven't, I'm happy for you guys to see what I look like, but I don't want something out of my control to come back and bite me in the ass. Something that could be meaningless to me and I'd likely never know who was reading what about me. And forming opinions that I couldn't see.

  2. #62
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    interpretation is based on the information you provide and it is your responsibility...if you show someone that you're an asshole they will see you as such...and yes people may initially be more nice to someone they find pretty but if the personality isn't it won't matter in the end but i'm not talking about pretty or unpretty in any way. i'm talking about seeing kindness in ones eyes or confidence or vulnerability or sincerity...it's personality attributes that are observed visually....and it's the combination that i believe gives a broader understanding.
    That's a very simple view of things. It's more complex than that. You are assuming that first impressions don't matter a lot to a lot of people which they do. You are assuming people always make an accurate picture of others based on what others show.

    Kindness in eyes and confidence and vulnerability and sincerity...you can't see that in a picture. And they are not personal attributes that are observed visually in a few seconds no. You see it in people's actions. Not on their faces.

    I argue it's highly fallible. But if you say can see when a person is kind just by looking in their eyes, then who am to say you don't.

    Quote Originally Posted by TickTock View Post
    And forming opinions that I couldn't see.
    And assumptions too.

  3. #63
    Mud and rain and chaos... TickTock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post


    And assumptions too.
    Yeah. I'll expand on this, that in the real world people look back at the person they are talking to and subconsciously or consciously gauge how their words and actions are being received, with new people they meet and are forming friendships with. So you see what you can get away with (jokingly or what things you might have in common) or what kind of person this is. Online its a lot like crawling in the dark and friendships form on a different level. I'm sure I'd get on with *most* people on here but I find I have created very little in the way of meaningful relationships. Personally I don't think this setting supports the way that I do that.

  4. #64
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    I have posted pictures because I'm an attention whore.

  5. #65
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    That's a very simple view of things. It's more complex than that. You are assuming that first impressions don't matter a lot to a lot of people which they do. You are assuming people always make an accurate picture of others based on what others show.

    Kindness in eyes and confidence and vulnerability and sincerity...you can't see that in a picture. And they are not personal attributes that are observed visually in a few seconds no. You see it in people's actions. Not on their faces.

    I argue it's highly fallible. But if you say can see when a person is kind just by looking in their eyes, then who am to say you don't.



    And assumptions too.
    how am i assuming first impressions don't matter? or that people don't always get the right idea? i'm not...i'm just saying it's your responsibility to show them what you want them to know.
    and..you may not see that....but i am telling you that i do and i'm sure many others do as well.


    edited: because i didn't say what i meant sorry.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #66
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    how am i assuming first impressions don't matter? or that people don't always get the right idea?
    If people are biased towards Johnny Depp because he's attractive, that doesn't mean they would like him if he was an asshole...but it does mean that the positive assumptions they make about him in the first place would not be made for an ugly guy and he's still on the whole getting a better treatment in general.

    You did say "if you show someone that you're an asshole they will see you as such". That didn't leave much room for interpretation. You're responsible for the way you word things as well

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i'm not...i'm just saying it's your responsibility to show them what you want them to know.
    Tel then to the scarred faced man or the really fat girl. Sure, people should be proud of who they are...but other people shouldn't care about how they look in the first place.

    And I agree that we have the responsibility to show others what we want them to know. Responsibility towards ourselves more than others though. But it's one thing to use words and another to use body language. You only have so much control over the vibe you send. And I refuse to play by other people's interpretation model...because people DO evaluate someone else subjectively via their own prisms and perception.

    There is no TRUE way to be and that just smells like we should always adjust to other people when speaking, which I don't believe in.

  7. #67
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Whatever : Hit the nail right in the head, but as usual misinterpreting my comments. Which is a prime example why I hate biases btw.

    When I say you hit the nail right in the head, I eman when you used the words convincing. Not saying being charismatic is bad, but it often clouds the message.
    I was responding to Jag, not you

    however, I get described as charismatic rather often in real life even though it's not something I put effort into... it's just has to do with personality intensity I guess... I kind of resent being judged for something that can't be helped
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #68
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I sometimes go out in public and people see me, so whats the big deal?
    That's how I feel also - it's not like my face is top secret information.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  9. #69
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I was responding to Jag, not you

    however, I get described as charismatic rather often in real life even though it's not something I put effort into... it's just has to do with personality intensity I guess... I kind of resent being judged for something that can't be helped
    Exactly! Me too. That's my whole point.

    And I even resent it when others call me charismatic as well. I always think of that guy in the group that doesn't get a fair shot despite saying the exact same words I did.

  10. #70
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I try my best to put attention onto others... especially since I have the unfortunate tendancy to blush when too many people look my way
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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