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  1. #11
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Bwa ha ha ha.

    Seriously, though, i read the thread title and realized i don't think of myself much in a relationship in terms of roles ... It's more as as an individual.
    Same here.

    Before being in a healthy relationship I had so many ideas of what my role "should" be and what I "should" receive, etc...

    And now, it's like "ahhhh"... you don't have to study for a relationship!

  2. #12
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    wow
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #13
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyDjXLLGxVk"]Enjoy ...[/YOUTUBE]
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #14
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I am not good with the neatness and stuff and the kids frequently look like they just rolled out of bed. He usually does his own laundry and makes his own lunches for work.

    OTOH, I do want home and me in particular to be something he looks forward to at the end of the day rather than dreading. It's just basic behavioral conditioning, IMO.

    So . . . I don't always have dinner ready, but I do usually make it shortly after he comes home if it's not. I bring it to him at his desk, though I don't always bring a drink (because I'm often carrying my own plate to my desk.)

    Sometimes I help him off with his boots.

    I don't save parenting issues for him to deal with when he gets home. I address them myself, because I'm, like, a parent.

    I try not to hit him with a laundry list of complaints when he walks in the door and give him time to unwind before I expect a lot of interaction.

    I don't do stuff I resent doing very often. He works his rear off so our family can have a good life. I don't work outside the home despite all the kids being in school now. It doesn't hurt me to do a little something to make his life pleasant. If he acted like he didn't appreciate it it would be different, but he's very low-maintenance and sweet to me.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #15
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I am not good with the neatness and stuff and the kids frequently look like they just rolled out of bed. He usually does his own laundry and makes his own lunches for work.

    OTOH, I do want home and me in particular to be something he looks forward to at the end of the day rather than dreading. It's just basic behavioral conditioning, IMO.

    So . . . I don't always have dinner ready, but I do usually make it shortly after he comes home if it's not. I bring it to him at his desk, though I don't always bring a drink (because I'm often carrying my own plate to my desk.)

    Sometimes I help him off with his boots.

    I don't save parenting issues for him to deal with when he gets home. I address them myself, because I'm, like, a parent.

    I try not to hit him with a laundry list of complaints when he walks in the door and give him time to unwind before I expect a lot of interaction.

    I don't do stuff I resent doing very often. He works his rear off so our family can have a good life. I don't work outside the home despite all the kids being in school now. It doesn't hurt me to do a little something to make his life pleasant. If he acted like he didn't appreciate it it would be different, but he's very low-maintenance and sweet to me.

    I think that's great, because it makes you happy, and both of you appreciate and respect each-other and what you do FOR each other. : )


    Personally. I don't just want to conquer the working world, I want to conquer the domestic world. I want to be able to have a great home, and be a fantastic wife and mother, as well as doing a phenomenal job at work at the same time.

    Of course, I hope I can make that reality. I know a lot of people say that this is impossible. But I don' think anything is impossible.


    I still think the list is ridiculous. I mean, the wife(feelings included) is not being considered at all....she's his bitch.

  6. #16
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    wow... I'm a terrible girlfriend

    I cook him dinner and do nice things occasionally, like give him a foot massage or plug in the power cord for his laptop, but he gets to see me looking like I do at the end of the day at the end of the day and such...food is one thing, becoming Susie Homemaker is another thing
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #17
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    wow... I'm a terrible girlfriend
    Only if you believe that list as valid criteria (or if you have other reasons you're not stating)...
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  8. #18
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    based on the list... otherwise I'm awesome... I even pack his lunch in the morning
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #19
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I could rock about 9 of those fairly frequently, but on the rest he'd be screwed. If i ever run across a man who expects that in this day and age, i'd give an interactive lesson on sewing up his vagina and growing a pair. That's all those things sound like to me. Pseudo-men-folk who were too bawfest about their degree of manliness.
    How cute
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

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    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  10. #20
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    I have mixed feelings about all of this really.

    In one sense, feminism opened eyes to the gender inequalities prevalent in our society, and demanded change. Equality, to me, is a good thing.

    In the process however, the role of a wife became little more than the poster child of female oppression. Young women in my generation generally scoffed at the prospect of being "just a wife and mother". We were taught we could HAVE IT ALL.

    That's not really true I have discovered; you can have it all, but not necessarily at the same time. Most women now try to be this super-woman raising kids and having a career and just plain being exhausted all the time. I know I did and I was tired all the time too.

    So, to the list: certainly we look at it and laugh now - imagine being that subservient to a husband. But, I do feel happy making my husband happy ... was the complete rejection of the stereotype necessary?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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