To be fair, the person asked if I wanted to join a dinner party they are hoping to have next week (hehe, let's see if that happens.) We have had issues like this in our dealings with each other before. A couple of times it was far more serious than this. I think they have improved but they will always be somewhat like this and probably don't think it's a big deal at all. I tend not to confront people over things like this partly because I don't want to sound obsessive and uptight. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Sometimes I let things go too much and then it builds up.
This shouldn't be a big deal, though. I'm kind of glad to see that people don't think I'm just uptight and maybe I should have got in touch earlier myself. This person is probably feeling a bit swamped at the moment, I do know that. I think it probably falls under the "they care about me but are being a bit inconsiderate" heading. Sometimes you do just have to put up with people's weaknesses and foibles. I hope others can put up with mine.
I think probably part of the problem here is that I would like to be higher on their priority list than I suspect I am, but that's just how it is sometimes.
I am a P..
My P plays no bearing on my manners.
I am also almost always on time to the minute.
I also expect people to keep their word even if time and time again the proof says I should expect otherwise.
In my opinion.. This person was at best "flaky".. and at worst, lacking manners.
I think perhaps it is more an ExxP thing... But you may be right and it may be a completely separate "manners" issue...
Flakiness is a huge relationship pet-peeve of mine. It makes you always on guard as to whether or not the person is being genuine.
I think it is particularly the case when the person sometimes behaves as though you are the center of their universe - or close to it - and at other times behaves as though you are way, way down the list. This person, among others I have known, is somewhat like that, and it is at best confusing.
A good friend of mine is/was (I don't call her anymore due to her flakiness!) like that, but I always excused the behavior telling myself, she's just too nice, she can't say no. But damn it, when it's her ideas that she flakes on, it's like come on girl!
2. Remembered last second, but thought you didn't care about it enough to remind him/her so he/she flaked
Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
Edward: Bebop here here! Alright woo hoo!
Weathergirl: Chance of rock showers today upgraded to 90 percent.
i'm with trinity. if it's vague that means it may change. if i say maybe we'll go have drinks mon or tue...or even let's try to...that means..it might happen but if i say tue at 8:00 i'll see ya then! then i'll be there.
so...imo it doesn't sound flaky...but maybe i'm more flaky than i realize....i don't feel flaky...i know flakier people.
There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
If the plans are not cemented & there is no further talk of them, then it is not flaky to me. That said, I usually still call someone & tell them the idea is off, and I appreciate when people do that for me. If they don't notify me and we did not have solid plans, then I still let them off the hook.
Cemented plans for me is a definite day, and a general or specific time. "Friday night" is as solid for me as "Friday at 8pm". The point being, that general time period is set aside for that plan. If Friday night will not work out, then I expect a phone call to free me up from the plans.
"Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure