This thread is not about exchanging ideas about MBTI or whatever it is you rosy cheeked bastards do in your mother's basement, sipping on Big Bulps from convenience stores or repairing your motherboards with makeshift parts. Nay I say to thee! This thread is about me, and how I am going to revolutionize... me!!! But I need your help, if you would be so kind!
My life has been a conglomerate of events that have shaped my personal values, either through information or experience. But they are obsolete, past their due time, retarded, indolent... so I must transform like this snail!
See how he does not care for your snarky attitude? (if you have one. Otherwise, he loves you).
So it is time for me to be honest. I need to triangulate my position and change it before the carpet bomb blows me up. But I need a step-by-step procedure beforehand, and I need to unfold the parts of my life I do not like so that I might check them off as changed.
I originally got my idea from this site, which said this about the 4w5 (which I highly identify with).
So, in order to become healthier and more successful (my own definition of successful), I must lose myself to others, so to speak. There is nothing wrong with being unique, but there are dire consequences for withdrawing so much that you are detached and forever yearning. There is something unique in everyone, and there is something mundane about everyone. I want to learn about all these things and become open to them; and the process can only move forward if I drop the past, reel in my anchor, and just sail WHEREVER the tide leads me. Fortunately, there is nothing endearing about my current situation. There are no tethers to the past that I feel connected to. The world is my oyster.Personal Theme
From a very early age, fours felt singled out by others. They see the various personal qualities others have that are not given to them, which causes them to focus on absence, on differences, and on personal alienation. They are the gray ducklings poked fun of by their bright-feathered peers and abandoned by their parents. They are the orphans and outcasts. In time, however, they began to feel that they're singled out for a reason. They interpreted their alienation and suffering as evidence of their finer sensibilities, and even their personal defects, which in the beginning tormented them, are now worn as marks of pride. However, in their psychic recesses there remains an emptiness longing to be filled by another, and it is that emptiness, that tension between lack and fulfillment, which drives the fours in a search for meaning and personal identity. Unfortunately, given their fixations on fantasy and comparison with others, this search can often feel (and become) fruitless.
Let me start by listing the number of things about the past or present that have coaxed me into my current position. This isn't a wallowing session, just the facts. I need to change all of these things.
-First and foremost, I want hope. I want to know all of my desires will come to fruition, and that there is a will to move foreword. I want someone to put a carrot in front of my face and say, "Move! The carrot's right here if you can get it!"
-I am 20 years of age.
-I am jobless, unemployed.
-I have a driver's license, but no car or personal insurance.
-I live with my parents. My environment is oppressive.
-I have not graduated from high school yet because of medical setbacks and sheer laziness, though I can drop in a half credit to get a scholarship and a diploma online.
-I don't have many friends. (really, just 2 who I keep in contact with)
-I don't have a girlfriend. In fact, I haven't had one in more than 3 years.
-I haven't had sex. But when I do, I would prefer it be someone I loved.
-I really want to get wasted. Like, just smashed off my ass, just to see the world from a less rational viewpoint. For a long time. There comes a point where being sober for too long is actually being drunk with boredom.
I must change all these things. Quick. Don't care how. The shit is going to hit the fan, and soon my parents are going to kick me out whether I like it or not.
It's ironic - these things probably don't set me apart from everyone as much as I think they do. Maybe I am full of envy, but if this is the case, then I must fling myself at the world to realize that I am not confined by uniqueness. Either way, I must keep moving and I would like your help if at all possible.