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  1. #1
    Ginkgo
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    Exclamation Complete Overhaul of Myself

    This thread is not about exchanging ideas about MBTI or whatever it is you rosy cheeked bastards do in your mother's basement, sipping on Big Bulps from convenience stores or repairing your motherboards with makeshift parts. Nay I say to thee! This thread is about me, and how I am going to revolutionize... me!!! But I need your help, if you would be so kind!

    My life has been a conglomerate of events that have shaped my personal values, either through information or experience. But they are obsolete, past their due time, retarded, indolent... so I must transform like this snail!



    See how he does not care for your snarky attitude? (if you have one. Otherwise, he loves you).

    So it is time for me to be honest. I need to triangulate my position and change it before the carpet bomb blows me up. But I need a step-by-step procedure beforehand, and I need to unfold the parts of my life I do not like so that I might check them off as changed.

    I originally got my idea from this site, which said this about the 4w5 (which I highly identify with).

    Personal Theme
    From a very early age, fours felt singled out by others. They see the various personal qualities others have that are not given to them, which causes them to focus on absence, on differences, and on personal alienation. They are the gray ducklings poked fun of by their bright-feathered peers and abandoned by their parents. They are the orphans and outcasts. In time, however, they began to feel that they're singled out for a reason. They interpreted their alienation and suffering as evidence of their finer sensibilities, and even their personal defects, which in the beginning tormented them, are now worn as marks of pride. However, in their psychic recesses there remains an emptiness longing to be filled by another, and it is that emptiness, that tension between lack and fulfillment, which drives the fours in a search for meaning and personal identity. Unfortunately, given their fixations on fantasy and comparison with others, this search can often feel (and become) fruitless.
    So, in order to become healthier and more successful (my own definition of successful), I must lose myself to others, so to speak. There is nothing wrong with being unique, but there are dire consequences for withdrawing so much that you are detached and forever yearning. There is something unique in everyone, and there is something mundane about everyone. I want to learn about all these things and become open to them; and the process can only move forward if I drop the past, reel in my anchor, and just sail WHEREVER the tide leads me. Fortunately, there is nothing endearing about my current situation. There are no tethers to the past that I feel connected to. The world is my oyster.

    Let me start by listing the number of things about the past or present that have coaxed me into my current position. This isn't a wallowing session, just the facts. I need to change all of these things.

    -First and foremost, I want hope. I want to know all of my desires will come to fruition, and that there is a will to move foreword. I want someone to put a carrot in front of my face and say, "Move! The carrot's right here if you can get it!"

    -I am 20 years of age.

    -I am jobless, unemployed.

    -I have a driver's license, but no car or personal insurance.

    -I live with my parents. My environment is oppressive.

    -I have not graduated from high school yet because of medical setbacks and sheer laziness, though I can drop in a half credit to get a scholarship and a diploma online.

    -I don't have many friends. (really, just 2 who I keep in contact with)

    -I don't have a girlfriend. In fact, I haven't had one in more than 3 years.

    -I haven't had sex. But when I do, I would prefer it be someone I loved.

    -I really want to get wasted. Like, just smashed off my ass, just to see the world from a less rational viewpoint. For a long time. There comes a point where being sober for too long is actually being drunk with boredom.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    I must change all these things. Quick. Don't care how. The shit is going to hit the fan, and soon my parents are going to kick me out whether I like it or not.

    It's ironic - these things probably don't set me apart from everyone as much as I think they do. Maybe I am full of envy, but if this is the case, then I must fling myself at the world to realize that I am not confined by uniqueness. Either way, I must keep moving and I would like your help if at all possible.

  2. #2
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I don't how to help with all of those things, but I'll say... You don't necessarily need to get shitfaced, but if you want to, then don't drive.

    Second, you're pretty funny (in a good way). I'm just a random Joe on the net, but I hope that lessens the blow of whatever makes you feel "singled out" too much. Here's a brohug while I'm at it Good luck

  3. #3
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    well, it looks like you've gotten facts of the present together, now it's time to come up with a plan on what you're going to do with all of this...

    are you going to complete your GED? Do you have any job plans? Have you looked at the possibility of finding somewhere else to live? Have you looked at roommates? (you can find random ones online!) Do you have any hobbies where you could meet people?

    (almost all questions that my mother has interrogated me with in the past )

    Having a goal for yourself might motivate you to actually do something... and the best of luck with that!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #4
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Come to the next NYC meetup. We can probably fix a bunch of those. Or team up with Gish on one of his mobile-hobo tours.



  5. #5
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    well, it looks like you've gotten facts of the present together, now it's time to come up with a plan on what you're going to do with all of this...

    are you going to complete your GED? Do you have any job plans? Have you looked at the possibility of finding somewhere else to live? Have you looked at roommates? (you can find random ones online!) Do you have any hobbies where you could meet people?

    (almost all questions that my mother has interrogated me with in the past )

    Having a goal for yourself might motivate you to actually do something... and the best of luck with that!
    All good questions.

    I'm going to obtain a straight diploma because I've been fortunate enough to find a high school that accepts people in my situation. I only need to complete one more class, but honestly it feels like a drag because I've been exposed to so much information over the past couple years. This mundane curriculum feels like playing patty cake to me, though I guess that's more of a reason that I should plow through it rather than procrastinating.

    I would enjoy finding a random roommate online! Uhh, well, occasionally I go to a comic shop with my ENTP friend to screw around. It's kind of unnerving because most of the people there just horde trinkets, comic books, cards, all sorts of things that drain their money. While this is a fun past time, I only see it as a small facet of my life. I would rather not have it absorb me like many other people have... there are so many other beautiful things to learn and be apart of.

    Goals are not a strong suit of mine. I just see the future as a bunch of possibilities, but without any real deduction. I'm just going to follow my gut and enroll in a local university, just for the sake of movement itself.

  6. #6
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Come to the next NYC meetup. We can probably fix a bunch of those. Or team up with Gish on one of his mobile-hobo tours.
    When is it, again? We should steal a weener mobile, but an MBTI banner on it and shoot people with shirt guns, loaded with these:


  7. #7
    figsfiggyfigs
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    ^ I was going to saw what whatever said

    first thing you need to do is get your diploma.
    then start planning.

    Look for a job, save up some money, move out, learn to take care of yourself, interact with people, take on complete responsibility for yourself. You will be amazed by how much this will change you.

    Once you start working, you will see how important it is to have a degree, I think that will motivate you in school more than it would have if you went straight into college/uni.

    When you think the time is right, apply for uni/college for what YOU want to do.


    Honestly, this is what I did, and it changed who I was. My life was together before that, but I truly became an independent adult after this. I learned to make decisive decisions that had a huge impact on my life at that moment; I learned to set aside my feelings to make objective choices and move up in the world. I completely relied on myself, no help from the parents what so ever. I built my life by myself, it's the most satisfying feeling in the world, esp in my case( formerly dependent on parents, never had a job, naive, spoiled, etc).

    I know you said no MBTI's, but I figured that I would add, that I was an extremely unhealthy ENFP before I made the decision to own up and turn my life around. and now I think I'm a pretty healthy ENTJ.

    I hope that you figure out what is right for you, and you won't be just content, but happy with the positive affect that will take place. : )

  8. #8
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    -First and foremost, I want hope. I want to know all of my desires will come to fruition, and that there is a will to move foreword. I want someone to put a carrot in front of my face and say, "Move! The carrot's right here if you can get it!"
    Basically everybody wants that and it's always been a big strategy used by emperors and dictators to get their peoples attention. I dont think its wrong to want more frame and guidance for ones life, the thing most people tho fail at is admitting it.


    -I am 20 years of age.
    In July I'll be 27.

    -I am jobless, unemployed.
    I only have a student job, but I am working my way up slowly and steady by actively participating in the system to learn it better. Plus its a challenge every day anew to get to know how things are working in the real world. I'ld advise you to not start working in a bizness you dont get to know a lot of peoples jobs or things they do at first; that could be heavily delimiting your owns experience process about the world.

    I dont know how to phrase what I mean, but bottom line would be: you need a challenge, desperately and lemme tell you, tho you might think you know it all at age 20 and nothing can get the better of you, you know nothing yet and you think wrong .

    -I have a driver's license, but no car or personal insurance.
    Same here, one just doesnt have the money for it at present age.

    -I live with my parents. My environment is oppressive.
    If you're good at it come to germany, you'ld just blend in in the oppressive environment with many 30 year olds living with mommy still .

    -I have not graduated from high school yet because of medical setbacks and sheer laziness, though I can drop in a half credit to get a scholarship and a diploma online.
    Me neither, I am still at University aswell. You gotta do what makes you happy and if this has gotten you some skills and it will on the way, you later will do work with ur skills. Some peoples skills are to graduate in less time than is expected from them, some are good at binge drinking. No matter what skills you have, as long as you work on them and dont let you down there will be always some place looking for just the person that is you. (i.e.: the enterprise could need a new captain, so thats what I devoted my skillset for)

    -I don't have many friends. (really, just 2 who I keep in contact with)
    I personally think many more friends you wont have in your entire life. Good or real friends are hard to find and tho there are maybe many nice people out there, being intrested in becoming the next captain of the enterprise does significantly limit ones circle of friends

    -I don't have a girlfriend. In fact, I haven't had one in more than 3 years.
    I had the same issue at age 22. Was solo for 4 years by then and met my girl at age 23. Now we are together for 4 years and I am gonna marry her. Finding your girl is by now means a time sensitive thing.

    -I haven't had sex. But when I do, I would prefer it be someone I loved.
    I perfectly do understand. And from personal experience I can tell you, it's in fact the only thing that's fun.

    ---------------------------

    My personal opinion as a not professional psychologist is, you do infact need a partner. As a man more sensitive to life than the average population does project, finding a partner is indeed one thing that can make you hole.

    There's tho one big problem, if you make your personal happiness dependant on finding a partner, your partner will be unhappy with you, cause he needs to back your emotional problems up all the time.

    Therefore developing some independence from lifes problem for yourself and steadiness in your beliefes, strength and courage in yourself, while not loosing your sensibility will bring you more rest, at least at times and even have the positive sideeffect that you may find a partner.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #9
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    ^ I was going to saw what whatever said

    first thing you need to do is get your diploma.
    then start planning.

    Look for a job, save up some money, move out, learn to take care of yourself, interact with people, take on complete responsibility for yourself. You will be amazed by how much this will change you.

    Once you start working, you will see how important it is to have a degree, I think that will motivate you in school more than it would have if you went straight into college/uni.

    When you think the time is right, apply for uni/college for what YOU want to do.


    Honestly, this is what I did, and it changed who I was. My life was together before that, but I truly became an independent adult after this. I learned to make decisive decisions that had a huge impact on my life at that moment; I learned to set aside my feelings to make objective choices and move up in the world. I completely relied on myself, no help from the parents what so ever. I built my life by myself, it's the most satisfying feeling in the world, esp in my case( formerly dependent on parents, never had a job, naive, spoiled, etc).

    I know you said no MBTI's, but I figured that I would add, that I was an extremely unhealthy ENFP before I made the decision to own up and turn my life around. and now I think I'm a pretty healthy ENTJ.

    I hope that you figure out what is right for you, and you won't be just content, but happy with the positive affect that will take place. : )
    Yeah, I know I'm coming off as a stereotypical INFP here. Self-absorbed and meandering.

    It's really good that you moved forward. Did you feel like your experiences got much more dynamic during your college years? I here there are 3 types of people: Party animals, study animals, and those who fade between the twilight of both of these worlds. I would imagine it would be difficult to find balance, but maybe not. It largely depends on who you associate with.

  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    ^ I was going to saw what whatever said
    oh no! we do that fairly often!

    I think it's the extroveted practical thing or something...

    nonetheless...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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