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  1. #31
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I relate to a lot of what OrangeAppled said. A lot of people perceive me as easy-going. What I like about that is that I'm often told I have quite a calm atmosphere/aura about me, and I'm glad I put that across. However, I do have high levels of anxiety much of the time and sometimes I get extremely upset internally, though things have to be quite bad before it really comes out - at least with people who I'm not quite close to.

    I guess I don't sweat a lot of the small stuff...I am genuinely easy-going in that I don't get too uptight about many things. For instance, if I'm with friends whose company I enjoy, I may be more than happy for them to pick what activity we're going to do together, etc. I'm not at all picky about food...all those sorts of things. But sometimes the "easy-going" is a bit of an illusion. I might be very upset about something but I feel vulnerable if I show too much of it to people I'm not sure I trust - and also, I don't like to upset other people, or feel like I'm being a nuisance, so for those reasons I may also keep a lot of it in.

    Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I did more screaming and throwing of things. Just so I didn't internalize it all. I think you also get taken advantage of if you try to be easy-going, accommodating etc. I've certainly had that problem with people.
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  2. #32
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    ^ I can relate to a number of the things in that post. I might not qualify as completely easy-going because I do internalize anxiety. I *think* I can eventually get rid of it through meditation and yoga, and at that point I think I'll be pretty laid back on every level.

    The main place I've found easy-goingness a hindrance is in certain forms of leadership. In a classroom setting there are a number of rules I feel obligated to reinforce, but that don't actually bother me when they are broken. Or when people talk politics at me I don't feel a need to push back and change their minds. If it is someone I love and their ideas are especially warped, I sometimes feel a droopiness afterwards, almost a little sad, but not on fire to make anyone change their minds.

    Everything looks interconnected to me, and I know there is a cause for every effect. I know people are wherever they are at for a time. Some will find a desire to grow, others will not, but there is little I have control over. I try to be available to do the best I can if someone asks of me, but the need to impose my individual vantage point onto the whole of everything seems as random an endeavor as when anyone does that. Just the will to impose an idea does not make it correct. To see clearly and polish one's inner lens so that it more closely reflect the truth about reality requires a great deal of distance from oneself. That distance can also give pause to force one's will and judgments onto others because it can view it for how limited it actually is.

    Maybe that comes back to the relationship between easy-goingness and not having a strong presence in the world. Although I think those who impose their wills strongly can end up with a redundant presence in the world which creates a feedback loop in which the volume continues to rise to the point it becomes deafening.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #33
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Default Life is a traffic jam

    I'll post a metaphor to help explain my above comments.

    The experience of life is like a traffic jam where everyone is honking and shouting to make their way to their destination. Each one becomes especially enraged with the car in front of them, forgetting to see that this car also has one in front of them. The reason they have impeded you is as much beyond their control as the way in which you impede the car behind you. Shouting and honking is an attempt to impose the will and make your desire overcome the obstacles. Unfortunately everyone is doing this as well making the air thick with soundwaves of which a few can be claimed as your own. You try to make a presence by becoming part of the mass. Everyone becomes sick being immersed in adrenaline and fumes.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  4. #34
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Interesting thread (I like defining commonly used terms that tend to have ambiguous usage, like "easy going" or "intelligent"), and I'll come back for more but I'll add this in here:

    It's unlikely to be correlated with an MBTI type. I think an easy going nature has more to do with emotional stability and certain cognitive processes - not measured by the MBTI.


    Regarding traffic jams: I'll come back with a story about how I actually had to single handedly had to "solve" a traffic jam by directing traffic on a blocked one lane road. Reactions are priceless.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  5. #35
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robopop View Post
    I would think IxxPs would be the most easygoing people because they are low-key, less energy introverts who take the external world as it comes or are not concerned with it that much. Being an introvert and a perceiver sounds like a very mellow person.
    I tend to agree with that.

  6. #36
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    IxxP, more inclination toward IxTP, and men, I would think

    enneagram 5's and 9's

    emotional stability

    idc attitude helps

  7. #37
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Well, this thread sort of died a while ago. I meant to get back to it earlier but blah blah blah got in my way (including bad health, I've been pretty darn sick) so I haven't exactly been doing much lately.

    But, here's my story, in brief:

    So I'm working an estate sale. It's my weekend thing to bring in some extra $. People are parking on both sides of a moderately well traveled suburban street. This creates "choke points" or "choke zones" where only one car can get through at a time.

    So the inevitable happens and people carelessly drive down the the one lane sections of road without paying attention to who or what is coming through the other way. I hear a lot of honking and stop my normal duties inside the house (moving furniture, helping customers, 'bouncing' the crazies) to figure out the situation on the street. My boss doesn't want the police showing up due to traffic.

    So there are essentially two cars face to face, each with a line of cars behind them. The conflict has reached a stalemate. Nobody is budging. I decide to get one group to back up to a open section of road, let the other group pass and wait til the road is clear, than let the other group through. I choose the line of cars with the shortest line behind them and tell the driver at the back to put it in reverse and go back to a section of road where it's two lanes and people can pass. He just goes with it no issues. The next person, however, is pissed off. "I live on this road, this is bullshit." I try to explain that if they let the other group pass quickly, they will get to their house quickly. They grumble but put it in reverse. I had one guy argue with me that they wouldn't budge because the person blocking them was "an asshole." And when it finally came time for other people to pass they were arguing with the people going by them - actively slowing down the line of cars instead of just letting them roll by.

    The funny thing is, there was this group of guys in a landscape truck, and they were all just laughing about it. They were pretty chill about the situation, thanked me for my help guiding their trailer through the narrow path, and went on their way.

    If this thread was more active this story would be more embellished, but there it is.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  8. #38
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    It's a psychological barrier.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    It's a psychological barrier.
    ? what
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

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