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  1. #141
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    So all that resentment women seem to display about being pursued sexually is just... what, exactly? Your problem?

    I'm guessing not.
    Well, generally speaking, women tend to not have sex on the brain as much as men do (I realize there are exceptions to this). It's therefore highly annoying when one just has their head in the clouds and their mind is focused on some non-sexual (but enjoyable) aspect of life, to be pursued by a man sexually in that moment.


    It's not necessary for validation, but it provides validation when it happens. It tells the man "Yes, you're acceptable. You make the grade." Having one's advances rebuffed, particularly in the framework of a stable relationship, sends the opposite message.
    Well, I'm glad to hear that it isn't necessary for validation.
    Why do rebuffed advances have to be interpreted as a lack of validation? Maybe your partner is just tired and stressed or PMSing majorly at that particular time. It doesn't mean that they don't value you or love you (unless you are getting rebuffed a lot).

  2. #142
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    I'm not trolling... just expressing how I feel after discovering recently that my husband of 25 years was having an affair.

    I don't want to be a cougar... someone around my age would be great. I just want to be with someone who actually appreciates me and cares about me for a change.
    I was just teasing ....and I think everyone wants that, and many deserve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    So all that resentment women seem to display about being pursued sexually is just... what, exactly? Your problem?

    I'm guessing not.
    It's not an issue of women resenting being pursued sexually, it's when the interest in women is only for sex. HUGE distinction.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  3. #143
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    It's more along the lines of if a person isn't appreciated and loved there isn't anything to be taken advantage of. When they are, however, they often seem to milk it for everything it's worth. This doesn't happen ALL the time, but it happens often enough that it almost forms the basis for every relationship issue after that. Remember I'm an Idealist too - just a little too jaded from being walked on when I'm trying to be decent and hated when I don't want to be the mat any more. Shit, and I'm only 27 - I wonder what I'll be like in another 10 years...
    Maybe we INF's are just too nice for our own good!

  4. #144
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Well, I'm glad to hear that it isn't necessary for validation.
    Why do rebuffed advances have to be interpreted as a lack of validation? Maybe your partner is just tired and stressed or PMSing majorly at that particular time. It doesn't mean that they don't value you or love you (unless you are getting rebuffed a lot).
    We know these things mentally. However, many of us have to remind ourselves of that every time we get shot down, because the emotional response is hard-wired.

  5. #145
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    We know these things mentally. However, many of us have to remind ourselves of that every time we get shot down, because the emotional response is hard-wired.
    This is the sort of thing that I just don't understand about men. I truly wish I could get inside the head of a man for awhile and just really experience what it's like, because I think I'm pretty clueless.

  6. #146
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    This is the sort of thing that I just don't understand about men. I truly wish I could get inside the head of a man for awhile and just really experience what it's like, because I think I'm pretty clueless.
    there's really not much to experience

    i think you would be underwhelmed
    Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
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  7. #147
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    This is the sort of thing that I just don't understand about men. I truly wish I could get inside the head of a man for awhile and just really experience what it's like, because I think I'm pretty clueless.
    It feels bad to be refused for what it is essentially our only purpose.



  8. #148
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Maybe we INF's are just too nice for our own good!
    Not all of us, then again every time I think I've gone too far in standing my ground there's always someone who managed to take advantage, so...

    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    It feels bad to be refused for what it is essentially our only purpose.
    Especially these days. The only thing we can really do now that a woman can't and is of any worth to the speices is add sperm. It can be quite the apathetic feeling if one dwells on that fact too long.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  9. #149
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    there's really not much to experience

    i think you would be underwhelmed
    I don't know... the minds of ISTP's can be pretty interesting.


    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    It feels bad to be refused for what it is essentially our only purpose.
    Do men really feel that sex is their only purpose?

  10. #150
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Do men really feel that sex is their only purpose?
    It can feel that way some times. It's not like we're needed to bring the money or hunt for meat. It's not like we're needed to protect the home anymore. The only things left is work to feel you have made some difference in the world or sex. Why do you think so many of us do crazy shit or play video games?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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