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  1. #11
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Not the biggest asshole ever...I'm really only doing that very ENFP thing of exaggerating something to get the point across. But it's there. I'm no nicer than the average immature ENTP.
    Yeah, I understand..

    Hmm, so ENFPs do that? I do that a lot too (hell, I'm doing it in this thread a little).

  2. #12
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Character =/= Personality. One's attitude can be genuinely changed whereas issues on personality changes are debatable. It is always good to replenish one's attitude to the better. I'm not sure whether assholes being proud of being assholes is part of the attitude or self acceptance for what you think is your personality. Either way it's not part of the personality but part of the character. It is a broken trait that can be fixed. I guess this is where 'unhealthy' and 'healthy' type would be derived from. And perhaps also the difference between the wise and the fool and a fool need not always be a fool.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Feops's Avatar
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    Being authentic has nothing to do with change.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    well... you've got to genuinely WANT to change in the first place... and change doesn't make you a different person as long as it's genuine
    Hmm, yeah I wouldn't want to change if I didn't feel people misunderstood me. If people accepted me I'd have no wish to change because I feel good about myself. But people don't always do. And the funny thing is, I probably developed this way of being BECAUSE people didn't accept me when I was younger.

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    the truth + something = a lie

    the truth - something = the truth still
    This is excellent advice, thanks. I do see what you mean and agree. I do like to frame it in a way that my façades are hindering my true self...but then by behaving differently am I really subtracting bad behaviour or am I just replacing that behaviour with something arbitrary and simply different? Hmm....


    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Is it possible to be inauthentic? Are you really your self image, what you think about yourself? What you have collected about yourself over the years, there must be more to it than that. Than a simple accumulation of habitual tendencies. Values change, maybe that is where you need to invest yourself. I don't know, interesting question. Maybe simply investing yourself in your ability to interact with people and your environment and have an effect is where it is at. You know? Here I am, see what I can do.

    Hmm, my values haven't change though. And my values are perfectly fine. It's what I like most about myself. Love, peace, honesty, empathy, self-awareness...

    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Yeah you can. Someone mentioned values already. These change as you mature. Nobody stays the same throughout life. So the authentic 'you' will change over time.

    I think your tendency to find people stupid is the crux of your situation. If you find people stupid, most likely you find it hard to respect them, thus, your dickish ways.
    The issue here is that authenticity is tied in with the concept of coherence, which is paramount to me. I have to be "as I've always been".

    Yes, I have trouble respecting in a certain way. I respect them as people, as individuals, but I don't always like they influence in my life. I respect an ISTJs sense of duty and goal-orientation, but it doesn't mean I VALUE it. When I say I find people stupid, I simply mean I think most people don't think about life....aren't very self-aware. They don't go deep.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oakysage View Post
    Character =/= Personality. One's attitude can be genuinely changed whereas issues on personality changes are debatable. It is always good to replenish one's attitude to the better. I'm not sure whether assholes being proud of being assholes is part of the attitude or self acceptance for what you think is your personality. Either way it's not part of the personality but part of the character. It is a broken trait that can be fixed. I guess this is where 'unhealthy' and 'healthy' type would be derived from. And perhaps also the difference between the wise and the fool and a fool need not always be a fool.
    It's like humor. You know the cynical wit kind of humor? I use it a lot. It's just humor, it's just character...or is it? Is it reflecting something that is within?

    You know how they say bitterness helps with sarcasm and certain forms of wit... deprecative social commentary exposes what we feel about others.

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    So, basically I've been considering fine-tuning my behavior for a variety of reasons. The question is, how can one be sincere and still behave in a way that is not natural?

    I'm a contrarian and aggressive asshole. I have a motherload of Fi though, and would like to convey it more in the way I interact with people. Thing is...that would destroy my sincerity if all I want to say a certain situation is "AH! Sucker!" (after your mom died), right?

    I've been trying to be nicer to people, the truth is I generally like people (even though I tend to find them stupid), but the message doesn't always get across because I'm too busy being a dick. It's instinctual. When I try being nice, it throws people off as well as myself. It feels force. So, is there a way to change and still feel sincere and authentic?

    Because the assholeish remarks are part of my self-image.
    wtf i mean really....w.t.f.

    you would not say haha SUCKER! to someone who's mom passed!

    are you sure you're not overstating your behavior with this post? are you sure you're not just doing the enfp teasing thing where you joke around in a playfully dickish way?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    wtf i mean really....w.t.f.

    you would not say haha SUCKER! to someone who's mom passed!

    are you sure you're not overstating your behavior with this post? are you sure you're not just doing the enfp teasing thing where you joke around in a playfully dickish way?
    Take a chill pill. See, I tend to have this effect on people. Obviously I was joking with that comment.

  8. #18
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Take a chill pill. See, I tend to have this effect on people. Obviously I was joking with that comment.
    haha!! omg i was kidding too! there was laughing and an omg no you don't!! tone to that post...haha

    because...i'm an enfp too i can tell when someone is overstating.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #19
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Sytpg: I would say that this issue has nothing to do with type. It has everything to do with habits and styles of comminication you learned in the past.

    Kick any dog enough, and one of two things will happen: the dog will become more aggressive or less so. Breed of dog is irrelevant.

    So who kicked you to make you more aggressive? (not implying that you are a dog! just thinking metaphorically)

  10. #20
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    haha!! omg i was kidding too! there was laughing and an omg no you don't!! tone to that post...haha

    because...i'm an enfp too i can tell when someone is overstating.
    Like, OMG!

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