User Tag List

First 34567 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 62

  1. #41
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    IsTP
    Posts
    615

    Default

    I found something gross in the trashcan.
    You really should go to planned parenthood for that.

    Iím on a new diet where I am not aloud to eat anything with sugar, fats, fiber, or protean.
    If they left out dog semen you'd starve.

    Where has all my savings in my account gone?
    Its not really 'savings' if its empty you nunce.

    From your test scores, I can tell that you failed to study.
    Given your a teacher I'd say you failed at something too.

    Where has my son gone? Iíve placed adds everywhere for his safe return?
    And that didn't work? As opposed to filing a missing persons report? Has CPS filed adds looking for you?

    Somebody stole all of the chocolate Easter eggs. Iím looking at you, Timmy.
    Timmy, gluttony is one of the several things Jesus died for.

    Thereís that crazy man outside, tying himself to tree trunks again.
    (((WTF?)))

    Do I look fat?
    Not only do you look fat, you are fat.

    Look! You have malt liquor on tap in the bathroom!
    ????
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  2. #42
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I disagree with your perception, you think you are funnier .. Fact and opinion are just that .. I think the NT's are doing a pretty good job myself, i like the dry humour.
    But they aren't being dry. For the most part, they're being awkward.

  3. #43
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    1. I found something gross in the trashcan.
    How did it taste?

    2. Iím on a new diet where I am not aloud to eat anything with sugar, fats, fiber, or protean.
    I'm sorry, what did you say? Once I find out someone won't swallow I kind of zone out.

    3. Where has all my savings in my account gone?
    I finally threw them out. Jars of urine are not "savings" and the tool shed is not an "account".

    4. From your test scores, I can tell that you failed to study.
    I didn't fail to study. You just asked the wrong questions.

    5. Where has my son gone? Iíve placed adds everywhere for his safe return?
    Good God, woman. Your son is 26 and lives with his wife. Stop it.

    6. Somebody stole all of the chocolate Easter eggs. Iím looking at you, Timmy.
    Mom, don't you remember what Dr. Green told you in your last session? THE CAT IS NOT STEALING YOUR THINGS.

    7. Thereís that crazy man outside, tying himself to tree trunks again.
    That's a backhoe, not a man. I think you've watched Transformers too many times.

    8. Do I look fat?
    Not on the phone.

    9. Look! You have malt liquor on tap in the bathroom!
    Yes, this house used to belong to Billy Dee Williams.
    Win.

  4. #44
    Senior Member ObeyBunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    573

    Default

    Iím on a new diet where I am not aloud to eat anything with sugar, fats, fiber, or protean.
    -Well, you're not going to be around much longer- but hay! At least you have a hot daughter I've been banging every night.
    ---
    Where has all my savings in my account gone?
    -It's around. Mostly in the form of my awesome new Rolls Royce!
    ---
    From your test scores, I can tell that you failed to study.
    -Well, it helps that I wrote phrases like "you whore" in each of the fill-in-the-blanks.
    ---
    Where has my son gone? Iíve placed adds everywhere for his safe return?
    -Oops, I thought you were for full-term abortions. It was going to be our anniversary gift.
    ---
    Somebody stole all of the chocolate Easter eggs. Iím looking at you, Timmy.
    -Shhh! I replaced the chocolate ones with rounded nuggets from the cat litter box. Timmy doesn't have to know!
    ---
    Thereís that crazy man outside, tying himself to tree trunks again.
    -I told him that the UFOs were trying to steal gravity.
    ---
    Do I look fat?
    -You mean "did the Aztecs feed you thousands of their virgin women every full moon for fear that you might smite their civilization by rolling your fat blubbery ass over and crushing the entirety of their society in one blow?" Well, it wouldn't hurt to go on the 'no-sugar-fat-fiber-protean' diet.
    ---
    Look! You have malt liquor on tap in the bathroom!
    -Thank you for noticing, I also soften the water with date-rape drugs.
    Q: "What is the process of seeking the truth?"
    A: "Distilled liquor"

    Q: "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
    A: "Between a starving prostitute and a steak sandwich."

    Q:How would a mathematician capture an elephant?
    A:He would build a cage, step inside, and rename his new location as "outside."

  5. #45
    Senior Member ObeyBunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    573

    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    Y'all really don't want me to play. I will be very inappropriate and offensive.
    Play! Play! Play!

    Donít dangle the carrot of comedy in front me then yank it away, Iíll never forgive you!
    Q: "What is the process of seeking the truth?"
    A: "Distilled liquor"

    Q: "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
    A: "Between a starving prostitute and a steak sandwich."

    Q:How would a mathematician capture an elephant?
    A:He would build a cage, step inside, and rename his new location as "outside."

  6. #46
    Senior Member ObeyBunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    573

    Default

    Okay, I'll add some new ones:

    1. These Bananas are on sale.
    2. My two year old made up a song about guns and knives.
    3. I look in the sky and I keep seeing clouds in the shape of boobs.
    4. Enter the darkness.
    5. What does it mean when I keep hearing my name whispered by dead animals?
    6. I had to though out another jar of mayonnaise because I found a condom at the bottom of it.
    7. I like pie.
    Q: "What is the process of seeking the truth?"
    A: "Distilled liquor"

    Q: "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
    A: "Between a starving prostitute and a steak sandwich."

    Q:How would a mathematician capture an elephant?
    A:He would build a cage, step inside, and rename his new location as "outside."

  7. #47

    Default

    These bananas are on sale.
    You saved 17 cents a pound. Time to plan that trip to Italy.

    My two year old made up a song about guns and knives.
    If my two year old were writing songs, I would not be quibbling about the subject matter. That said, you should probably take down the firing range in the nursery.

    I look in the sky and I keep seeing clouds in the shape of boobs.
    The clouds look down at you and see a boob, too.

    Enter the darkness.
    ...is perhaps the most unsettling way to be asked for sex.

    What does it mean when I keep hearing my name whispered by dead animals?
    It means you have to stop using the pet cemetery from Pet Sematary.

    I had to throw out another jar of mayonnaise because I found a condom at the bottom of it.
    Maybe you should stop fucking mayonnaise jars.

    I like pie.
    I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I was talking to pie the other day and pie thinks you're an asshole.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  8. #48
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    I look in the sky and I keep seeing clouds in the shape of boobs.
    The clouds look down at you and see a boob, too.
    Pure win!

  9. #49
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    7,917

    Default

    These Bananas are on sale.

    You're standing inside a compost.

    My two year old made up a song about guns and knives.

    I'm sorry. I told him about the aborted abortion.

    I look in the sky and I keep seeing clouds in the shape of boobs.

    There's a reason they're called cumulus clouds.

    Enter the darkness.

    Enter rehab.

    What does it mean when I keep hearing my name whispered by dead animals?

    It means you're good at making love to them.

    I had to though out another jar of mayonnaise because I found a condom at the bottom of it.

    That's fucking gross... you like mayonnaise?

    I like pie.

    Your shoe soles don't.

  10. #50
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    But they aren't being dry. For the most part, they're being awkward.
    Lol .. But that is your perception. I don't see it as awkward, i think it is rather liberating that in a thread like this they can be so open.

    That is what i like about Edgar .. He says it how it is, without fear of how it may be interpreted, social etiquette and the likes. Bring it on i say



    These Bananas are on sale.


    I paid the immigrants minimum wage, 2 even died due to sun stroke, be grateful you're getting them at sale price.

    My two year old made up a song about guns and knives.

    And when he's older, he is going to be like the man from GTA. I am so proud.

    I look in the sky and I keep seeing clouds in the shape of boobs.

    That p***s is getting a t*t w**k .. Look mummy!!

    Enter the darkness.

    And prey you'll live another day *Sharpens saw*

    What does it mean when I keep hearing my name whispered by dead animals?

    Dad, your not funny, It is just trapped air, now rebury that cat.

    I had to though out another jar of mayonnaise because I found a condom at the bottom of it.

    Don't throw it out .. Cherry flavoured condoms are so yesterday, mayonnaise condoms are so in.

    I like pie.

    On my hips, ass and thighs.
    Last edited by Saslou; 04-04-2010 at 04:33 AM. Reason: I didn't realise it was in the bonfire .. Can't let the kiddies see the bad language.
    ‚ÄúI made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see‚ÄĒand I don't.‚ÄĚ
    ‚Äē Georgia O'Keeffe

Similar Threads

  1. Unfriended by long time friend and feminist for anti feminist comment
    By anticlimatic in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 07-05-2016, 04:26 PM
  2. Timing is everything?
    By Littlelostnf in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 12-04-2007, 03:01 AM
  3. Inappropriately timed sadness
    By rivercrow in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-21-2007, 08:55 AM
  4. It's about damn time!
    By Rajah in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 05-01-2007, 03:12 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO