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  1. #21
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I generally don't tell anyone what's right or wrong exactly. If something bothers me, I try to relay another point of view/food for thought, illustrate something or some experience that shows what x or y action leads to, and then just sort of let them take it or leave it. If it's something wrong I see that might lead to immediate danger, I do something about it and talk later. I rarely see any of it work though. It's rare if someone actually takes my advice.. for some reason, I don't inspire :X More like, the guy they come back to months later and say "you were right".

  2. #22
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    I've kind of stumbled with this recently..I'm not so sure what I think about it.

    I guess my question is..is right for you to tell a person, say a close friend, whether something is right or wrong? Is it right for us to have that jurasdiction? Sometimes I don't know whether or not I should be trying to control a person out of a bad situation or let them make their own decisions whilst providing them with my opinions regarding it.

    So..should we direct others in these situations and make them believe that what they're doing is wrong? or should we realize that every person is an individual and can/should make their own decisions.
    I agree with what most other people have posted.

    I am hesitant giving advice. I find myself more inclined toward just listening and asking questions and bringing up other perspectives or points while the other person works something through. However, I have found friends asking me for advice a lot more recently, so I try to listen to the problem and get as thorough of a sense of the problem and what the person's goals are as I can and then recommend something, but always sprinkle it with caveats "of course this is only my opinion" "based on the information" "obviously it is your decision." And also assure them of my love for them.

    In general I pretty much tend to assume that other people know what to do with their lives better than I do. I guess there are exceptions, like preventing someone from drunk driving, or something that could potentially harm innocent people.

    The other exception, I suppose, is my younger brother and sisters. I have no problem thinking I know what is best for them, which actually irritates me, because I am trying to see them as people rather than as children... I have a lot of siblings, and as the second child/oldest daughter I almost HAD to take on a parental role in a lot of situations. But they are almost all adults now. And I am actually NOT their parent. I have to remind myself from time to time when I find myself getting annoyed by the way they are handling a situation in their lives.


    Also, I actually love people giving ME advice, provided they are thoughtful and kind and understand the situation.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I generally don't tell anyone what's right or wrong exactly. If something bothers me, I try to relay another point of view/food for thought, illustrate something or some experience that shows what x or y action leads to, and then just sort of let them take it or leave it. If it's something wrong I see that might lead to immediate danger, I do something about it and talk later. I rarely see any of it work though. It's rare if someone actually takes my advice.. for some reason, I don't inspire :X More like, the guy they come back to months later and say "you were right".
    Wow, haha. That's exactly what I've been doing/do. It's almost on the tip of the razor..kind of in the middle. Thanks for the advice!
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    I've kind of stumbled with this recently..I'm not so sure what I think about it.

    I guess my question is..is right for you to tell a person, say a close friend, whether something is right or wrong? Is it right for us to have that jurasdiction? Sometimes I don't know whether or not I should be trying to control a person out of a bad situation or let them make their own decisions whilst providing them with my opinions regarding it.

    So..should we direct others in these situations and make them believe that what they're doing is wrong? or should we realize that every person is an individual and can/should make their own decisions.
    I'd say you've an absolute duty to know right from wrong and say so, especially to close friends and family, you shouldnt keep quiet about what you think is wrong and wrong doing only persists in so far as people convince themselves they wont get caught, come to others attention, be called to account by people who matter to them.

    If you care about someone you dont let them mess up and learn the hard way, for some reason their capacity to learn from their mistakes may be severely limited and they'll just repeat the same ones, people like that actually depend on others, especially friends or people they count on, not to give them a hard time or point things out to them.

  5. #25
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Right and wrong is generally subjective!!! There are some pretty clear cut societal rules of right and wrong (don't steal, don't murder, etc.) but outside of that it is simply a matter of personal beliefes and convictions. So, generally right and wrong is simply a matter of opinion. And my opinion holds no more weight than anyone elses.

    That being said, I live by a pretty simple rule, live and let live, but first do no harm. I will give my opinion about "right and wrong" in the following circumstances: 1) The person is causing obvious harm to themselves or others. 2) The person asks me for my opinion, in which case I share it, but tell them what they do is ultimately their decision and I will respect them no matter their choice. 3) I am debating an issue with a person (good-naturedly).

    I find moral superiority icky...I think it lacks compassion and understanding for other's people's values and beliefes. I think one can share an opinion without making it a matter of right and wrong.
    Last edited by JoSunshine; 03-22-2010 at 02:08 PM.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
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    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  6. #26
    Pumpernickel
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    people who like to tell others what is wrong make me want to chew a living kitten in front of them.

    i'd be like.. hows this for wrong??? huhh?? huh?? *slurp* yeah how about now?

  7. #27
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

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    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  8. #28
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    A good rule to follow is um, stfu and leave people alone unless they ask for your opinion, they work for you or they are mentally incapable.
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”


  9. #29
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    I guess my question is..is right for you to tell a person, say a close friend, whether something is right or wrong? Is it right for us to have that jurisdiction? Sometimes I don't know whether or not I should be trying to control a person out of a bad situation or let them make their own decisions whilst providing them with my opinions regarding it.
    Jurisdiction? To comment on what you see around you? It's never morally wrong to comment on something you see happening around you?

    Actively controlling a person and trying to make that person do something though...that's something I think you shouldn't do (<- see I just shared my opinion there without controlling your moves).

    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    So..should we direct others in these situations and make them believe that what they're doing is wrong? or should we realize that every person is an individual and can/should make their own decisions.
    Depends on the gravity of what they are thinking of doing or not doing. If someone is getting very seriously hurt emotionally or physically I'll take it upon myself to change the mind of the person who did or is planning on being the weapon bearer.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    every person is an individual and can/should make their own decisions.
    It's how we learn and grow.

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