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  1. #21
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I forgot one! My best friend, who intervened last year when I was avoiding facing the aforementioned issue with one of my children. She gently, but firmly, presented it to me and didn't just leave it there- she helped with the legwork of getting on waiting lists and figuring things out and was always supportive emotionally. Because of her my baby is in a much better position to get what he needs. I'm incredibly grateful to her, although it was hard to hear.
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  2. #22
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    I too don't wish to sound too negative... But no one thus far has risked much of anything for me. That's alright with me though, because I think you learn a lot from circumstance and from overcoming adversity. Whether it be on your own or not.
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  3. #23
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I think I was taught from the time I was born to be resilient and to take care of myself. Not that I wanted to, I think all babies and children want to feel that warm envelopment that is Mother wrap around them and nurture and protect them. So I learned to not ask someone to take care of me, nor to expect that someone would. There have been two men in my life that would do anything for me, however: My Father and My Husband.

    My father demanded custody of my sister and myself when my mother decided she would rather move out, live on her own, and retain her married bf, than fight over us. He also denied himself remarriage with a long term gf so that he could raise my sister and myself without the stress of a step-mother and all the difficult relationship tensions that could/would arise in such a situation. He put us first, and essentially lost his gf over it. He did remarry a nice lady after I (the younger) was in college.

    When I met my husband at 18, it was like my life began. Having someone check my tires before going on a car trip, or checking to make sure I was safe in my apartment in college were just the beginnings of a long and happy marriage of having a man's protective shield about me. I know my husband would die for me, and he consistently helps me have what I need to be happy.

    I do not need anyone to fight for me. I am very strong. Although it's nice when it happens.
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  4. #24
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I've thankfully had several friends over the past decade who have encouraged me and supported me. Been there to push me the final inch towards resolve. I still have five or six people who I know would support me and be there for me - if not a physical presence (because several are physically hundreds or over a thousand miles away), I'd be able to call and talk to them and they'd be fully supportive of my endeavors, or could provide me emotional support or advice if I needed it.

    But as to part of the OP, and to kinda echo aphrodite, I was also raised to be pretty self-sufficient and independent, and in terms of the realities of everyday life (work, tangibles, etc) I've never had someone else step in and 'fight for me' or take over the reins, etc. I've lived on my own for over 10 yrs now.
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  5. #25
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I forgot one! My best friend, who intervened last year when I was avoiding facing the aforementioned issue with one of my children. She gently, but firmly, presented it to me and didn't just leave it there- she helped with the legwork of getting on waiting lists and figuring things out and was always supportive emotionally.
    I think that's the part that (at least for me) would just convey a lot of love. It's easy to criticize someone, it's harder to address someone's life in a way that expresses love and then invest in them to see it through. She really went the whole way with you.

    The people I mentioned earlier, I have a lot of trust for because they have really been able to challenge me without ever losing love and respect for me; I can they still view me in positive ways even when I really goof or am not at my best, rather than shaming me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lux View Post
    I too don't wish to sound too negative... But no one thus far has risked much of anything for me. That's alright with me though, because I think you learn a lot from circumstance and from overcoming adversity. Whether it be on your own or not.
    There's that too. You get a lot stronger tackling it alone, if you make it through.

    It's just nice to have a balance.
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  6. #26
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    I suppose my boss has risked a loss of some resources when I've been adamant about taking on more responsibility. While it was me that doing the pushing, he had to give me these chances. I knew that it was difficult for him because he's a relatively risk-averse kind of guy.

    Regarding my personal life, though.. like others have said, I think I've got some people in my life who would fight for me if I asked them to, but I can't bring myself to do it. I've definitely gotten support, advice, and favors done for me, but not to the level described in the OP.

    I'm stupid when it comes to fighting for others, though. I'm effectively putting my relationship with my mother on the line in an attempt to heal her relationship with my sister. I've risked friendships in trying to convince friends to make 'worthwhile' choices. I've often exhausted myself trying to bring out the best in certain other people. .. and so on. I really don't consider this to be a strength.

  7. #27
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    I never had anyone fight for me, but I really wish there were people who cared enough to support me in that way. I don't have grandparents or cousins or aunts or anyone who keeps in contact and my parents have other issues they have to work out. I think it's nice to know that someone is really rooting for you and believes in you but I can't say I've had anyone. One day I hope.

    I've mentored a few young teenagers who don't have much of a support system at home, because I felt that I could be of some use encouraging other young teenagers in the same predicaments I may have dealt with. Believe it or not, it's really satisfying. When I left Texas, I left all of the kids I helped mentor and encourage, but I try to make a point to contact them and continue to let them know that they're amazing kids and that they have a grand future a head of them.

    I think everyone needs some sort of support from other people. 'Fighting for' doesn't mean they're fighting your battles for you. It means that they're cheering you on as you face not only life's battles, but the everyday challenges as well.

    Edit: I just realized that my boss at my job (as a receptionist at a church) really opened up opportunities to me and helped me see my potential. She was ever so kind and supportive. She believed I could do anything I set my mind to and even set up opportunities to do so. She's there for me through the thick and thin.
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  8. #28
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    My family. all of them. I can rely on them unconditionally.

    Hexis. I feel like I can not only tell him anything, but that if I ever needed him, he'd find a way to be there for me. ... and I think he jumps into fights or starts even if they were never needed.. so fighting: check.

    I certainly have a lot of friends.. but people I feel like will be there no matter what, in ANY situation.. this is harder and narrows it down a lot. (For example: I have a lot of loyal, awesome online friends.. but the distance makes it impossible to stick in this category.)
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  9. #29
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    My late INFP father has always offered quiet support. He taught me so much, took me to places and allowed me to experience things I needed to see to be the person I am today. He was attentive to my real needs and wishes while my ESTJ mother and ISTJ brother would impose their priorities on me.

    My ENTP uncle has always cheered me up and believed in me while almost nobody in my family would take my artistic aspirations seriously.

    I would also say my INT pastor has often encouraged and defended me in situations where I was wronged. He also opened doors for me to take part in very interesting projects. He is very humble and never fails to apologize when he unintentionally hurts my feelings.

  10. #30
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    This is such a hard question to answer for someone from a dysfunctional family. Sometimes people try to be there for you but their ways of doing so are hurtful or they are supportive one minute and then destructive the next and then totally unavailable the next moment after that.

    My husband is and always has been my best support.

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