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  1. #11
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Yes. I can't imagine a 'full frontal' for more then like 10 seconds max unless it was my grandma or something.
    i don't think i've ever hugged anyone past 4 seconds.


    i am so outta my league. L4, what do you do here if I can't run! ENFJs are supposed to know these things
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  2. #12
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I attack from the side -- arm around back, shoulders, or waist (depending on height and intimacy level) and open shoulder for head. Then sometimes, addition of the other arm across or holding the wrist/hand of the huggee. I let them turn into me for me to decide where to put myself.

    Again. It's variable. Frontways is usually the most "formal".


    EDIT: Oh my. I sound like a dude. O.o
    Back Attack. Hmmm. I definitely have not mentally rehearsed this one as much. I should do that more.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #13
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Can't run = manuever to the side and start gesticulating wildly with one arm like "I had the craziest morning! Let me tell you..." which requires her and you to split if she doesn't want to get nailed by a flying hand. Works on guys too.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #14
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Can't run = manuever to the side and start gesticulating wildly with one arm like "I had the craziest morning! Let me tell you..." which requires her and you to split if she doesn't want to get nailed by a flying hand. Works on guys too.
    OT: How do you have so many posts here?! I've been here for a loong time and you are past half my posts! I feel like I comment on 70% of the thoughts I have wrt everything I read on here!!

    May - November = 771 for me; November alone = 375 for you (!)

    And: sweet idea. Injury possibilities.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  5. #15
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    OT: How do you have so many posts here?! I've been here for a loong time and you are past half my posts! I feel like I comment on 70% of the thoughts I have wrt everything I read on here!!

    May - November = 771 for me; November alone = 375 for you (!)
    I talk too much. That's why. My desk was always out in the hallway.


    And: sweet idea. Injury possibilities.
    Believe me. Comedy. GOLD.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #16
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername
    i am so outta my league. L4, what do you do here if I can't run! ENFJs are supposed to know these things
    I am hoping in all seriousness you can answer a question for me that may help me in my own life and help with some hug avoidance! I get hugged all the time and I don't know why. I don't know what I'm giving off that says "please hug me" ! What makes you think that you hugging her is the right thing? What signals is she giving you...is it something she said or does she touch you alot during casual conversation? I am so curious!



    Personal story:
    My best friend is a slender, flat chested ISTJ about inch shorter then me! I am uuhumm curvy I guess you could say. Anyway early on in our friendship we had a straight up talk about being friends and hugging. We even talked the logistics . We are not homophobes LOL but the time came up when we both had a "moment" where some females would probably be cool with hugging. The look between us was tense...like OH WOW this is weird I wonder if I should........? After a life of hugging pressure I came right out with it. We need not hug. We were both relieved to say the least!!
    Edit:in fact one of our funniest 'inside jokes' relates to this very subject!!

    We have been best friends for gosh like six or seven years. We had our first actual hug about a year ago and a couple recently when I went back to town. When things are tough we have some physical affection I guess you could say like pat one another on the back. If you don't want to I wouldn't force it. If you do want to may I suggest how her and I do it. We are hugging the neck area, one-armed, cheek-to-cheek really fast....chests not touching. It probably looks weird but if you stay focused on your target area it's over quick!

    Edit:x2 I could also be a strange ENFJ too Usehername keep that in mind!!
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  7. #17
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I honestly don't know. I generally have avoided all mandatory hugging situations, or, at least known they were coming enough to prepare properly.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  8. #18
    ~dangerous curves ahead~
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    "attack".

    Depends on the person, usually, for some, hugs are awkward, and if the giver is awkward, there's little comfort is it? =) Sometimes a touch suffices?

    If the victim is ok with physical contact and isn't mimosic, I like to attack from the back, arms around the waist (removes the boob problem since there's only one set ), rest my chin on their shoulder - it lets you whisper any comfort into their ears too. Then let them turn into you.

  9. #19
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    This thread is useless without pics.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    This thread is useless without pics.
    Imagination, my boy. Imagination.

    : I honestly don't know. I generally have avoided all mandatory hugging situations, or, at least known they were coming enough to prepare properly.
    Does that get me shot? (hey, where's your handwriting btw).

    Back to OP: It really depends on the hugger and the intended huggee. Some really don't like to be comforted via touch? So. Do what feels comfortable for you. At the end of the day, the feeling behind matters more. I'd think your discomfort would make her a little uncomfortable too? Sometimes it is a greater comfort that someone sits beside you and lets you cry it out without judging, vs an uncomfortable hug. At least. that's how I think. .

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