Sometimes knowing what NOT to do is half the battle in doing the right thing.
In that spirit, let's concoct some of the WORST Valentine's Day scenarios
They can be for a wife, husband, SO, girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, sibling, parent, whoever, just state whom.
Mrs. Halla, my Wifey
A vacuum cleaner, 2 Hungry man frozen TV dinners, a six pack of Budweiser, a Moon Pie, a cheap $5 bouquet of brightly colored dyed carnations, and a cheap nurse's uniform.
I leave the nurse uniform, Moon Pie, cheap bouquet, and vacuum cleaner in the bedroom for her to find when she gets home. I cook up the Hungry Man dinners and leave them on the table, with 2 Budweisers in coozie coolers next to them. I am on the couch in my bathrobe, smoking a cigar, wearing a Burger King crown, and watching a NASCA race on TV at full volume.
Halla is beaten with a rolling pin. Then Halla is chased with an axe. After Mrs. Halla bludgeons me, I am carried off by paramedics.
Now THAT is the worst possible Valentine's Day scenario I can come up with. Who else has a terribly unromantic idea in their heads?