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  1. #11
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Warm's Avatar
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    "Your voice is like chocolate...dreamy."
    --WildHorses

  3. #13
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss
    It's normal. You're far away and you were best friends. That sort of news can hit in such an intense way at first that it puts you out of commission emotionally. You're going to process it and it will feel more and more real, but you'll have people to talk to if you need them.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  4. #14

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    I'm sorry for your loss. Your reaction is perfectly normal, I respond similarly.

  5. #15
    Dali
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    I feel underserving of your kind words. The thought is very much appreciated though.

    I'm getting several emails of condolence from acquaintances and friends and its hard to read them. I end up doing most of the comforting in the end. It feels somewhat akin to having somebody sympathise with an imagined predicament that they think you're afflicted with when you're actually perfectly fine. Here I am posting on messageboards as usual, going about my work with nary a dent in my productivity, having coffee with work-friends as usual and feeling as 'normal' as can be.

    I feel unnaturally calm. At the (very) back of my mind though, I know a storm's building but I don't know when it will hit.

    Thank you for the kind words though. I will revisit this thread when it 'sinks in'. I know it will help.

  6. #16
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for your loss, Brother.

    I grieve the same way, "delayed grieving" if you will.
    Somehow I end up taking care of everyone else affected by the loss as it first happens, and then I feel it myself a few monts later as I reach for the phone to call them about something random and funny, like I always have, only to realize that I won't be able to talk with them until my time is up, hopefully long from now.

    Take care of yourself. Gather your pictures of him if you have some time to spare, make a mix CD of the tunes you uesd to listen to and give it to all your mutual friends. I find simple tasks like that cathartic.

    May your friend rest in peace, and may you and his family, and his other friends find strength and solace in this difficult time.
    --------------------
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  7. #17
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are in shock. It's like a cushion that protects you from the full impact until you are ready to deal with it.

    The feelings will come. Don't try to force them or think you should feel a certain way right now. They will come.

    In the meantime,
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #18
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    I'm sorry Lohengrin, you sound like you were good friends

  9. #19
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lohengrin View Post
    I'm getting several emails of condolence from acquaintances and friends and its hard to read them. I end up doing most of the comforting in the end. It feels somewhat akin to having somebody sympathise with an imagined predicament that they think you're afflicted with when you're actually perfectly fine. Here I am posting on messageboards as usual, going about my work with nary a dent in my productivity, having coffee with work-friends as usual and feeling as 'normal' as can be.
    I lost my mother just few days before last christmas (which used to be her favorite holiday), and for a long time I didn't really feel much about it. I asked myself a similar question... "Is everything alright with me? Why am I not feeling anything?! Am I really this emotionally dead?". I had relatives and friends telling me that they felt sorry for me, but it made me feel rather awkward because I felt I was okay. I almost wished no one would say anything.

    Right before her funerals I was even thinking whether I would cry at all. I knew everyone else would be crying, but I didn't feel like crying at all, and that kinda scared the hell out of me.

    Just let yourself feel whatever you feel, and don't feel guilty about it. Death of a best friend is such an emotional storm that it's impossible to know what should happen next. There's no right or wrong way to feel, I think.

    And I'm sorry for your loss. :sad:
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  10. #20
    Senior Member Parrish's Avatar
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    I`m sorry for your loss

    Don`t feel guilty about it, I think the emptiness isn`t there without a reason. Everyone has a different way to deal with it; some burst into tears, then go trough phases of shock, denial, anger, sadness, but sometimes you just need a little time to let it sink in. The rutinity of the "normal day" is probably just a deffense mechanism, it makes you think that everything is still the same and since you`re in another country it makes it feel less real I think. It must be difficult to accept something like that at once. I`m sorry if I`m upsetting you, I just don`t want you to think what you feel or don`t feel is somehow wrong.

    I thought about what I`d do in a situation like that a while ago, but I don`t think you can accuratelly predict how it will affect you and how you`ll respond.
    .:"Claude os, aperi oculos.":.

    "You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless, you have to hope even harder and cover your ears and go 'lalalalalalala'"- Fry (Futurama)

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