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  1. #31
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I don't want to avoid or have a formula to cope, I want to learn to grow through a difficult experience. I want to accept and honor memories, rather than allowing the experience to be an end all. I want to help teach my kids to deal with death in a good way. I don't see death as an awful thing. I am not the only person to have to deal with death, why not ask for input from other people.
    Well, by coping I meant just that.

    Personally I like to frame death as the even that gives life meaning and importance. How boring would it be if we were all immortal and our actions and experiences didn't really count?

  2. #32
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    The best memories from what was and trying to speak to others without bottling it inside helps. Trying to come to terms it happened, you know we are temporal vessels placed on this earth to experience that which life has to offer. And that which life has to offer is our mandate to experience. When the times comes, it happens. As long as you don't get bogged down in the grieving process for years, energy that consumes you and you block out everybody else then you are doing alright.

    While I haven't really lost anyone close to me, I lost all my grandparents without knowing them. The proudest moment is when you experienced and share life with the people you love that you knew them and had good memories about them. Yes its awful when they are gone and then they are missed. Just by being able to know the person that in itself is beautiful and enacts a sense of coping with the loss when you can accept that life is like that. Its natural, we all gotta go sometime.

  3. #33
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    The hardest death I've lost was a cousin; he died when we were both 20 from cancer. The night he was dying he was delusional/in pain, then drugged to let him die in peace; I had the option of seeing him like that, but I chose not to and I wouldn't change that decision. I spent the evening weeping in the bathtub listening to one song over and over.

    I wanted to avoid the basketcase stuff, but t'was not in the cards.

    I spent a lot of time alone. Emails with friends helped. An important side benefit to me was that it fostered the growth of some of my friendships into more meaningful relationships.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #34
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    How to deal with death:

    Post on a forum as escapism.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  5. #35
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Read a couple of books on grief and the grieving process. I recommend Recovery From Loss: A Personalized Guide to the Grieving Process. This book is written by an INTP and an INFP taking type into account to some degree. Also helpful to me was C.S. Lewis's A Grief Observed. There are many others, some are aimed more specifically at helping children.

    Find a local hospice house and tell them what you are seeking - these places are full of wonderful caring people and would have the most complete list of resources available.

    Feel free to PM me.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    I'd imagine I'd go insane. Literally crazy.

    I'd leave the healing up to solitude, introspection, lots and lots of sleep, emotional disassociation, and running around frantically clawing my brains out.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  7. #37
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    ^you will go insane if someone in your family dies? Check into a nut farm now.

  8. #38
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    It will certainly feel that way - but it's "part of the process" so...

  9. #39
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    my dog died today :[
    it hasnt even hit me yet. just sorta waiting for the **** feeling to come.
    my etsy Morphochroma

    I know you think I'm crazy,
    but most people they can't tell.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    ^you will go insane if someone in your family dies? Check into a nut farm now.
    I was exaggerating.

    But you wouldn't know that feeling, you haven't lost a family member.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

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