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  1. #1
    Senior Member MerkW's Avatar
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    Default MBTI Light-Bulb Jokes

    I viewed a similar thread on a socionics forum, and I thought it would be fun to try out. So here we go.
    How many _ _ _ _ s does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    ESFJ:

    ESTJ: 34. One to sign the registration papers for unscrewing the old light-bulb, five more to have permission papers signed by the authorities to set up a ladder and unscrew the old light-bulb, two more to send in official forms to the City Bureau of Light-Bulb Replacements for official access permission to access the new light-bulb, three at the City Bureau to redirect it to the proper sub-Bureau, three more at the sub-Bureau to have the official forms queried, subjected to state inquiry, and otherwise scrutinized. The rest pass it from cubicle to cubicle, through a ridiculous and near-infinite chain of ludicrous bureaucracy.

    ISFJ:

    ISTJ:

    ESFP: One, two, three, maybe even four, five or more. Who knows? All they seem to care about is partying.

    ESTP: One. He rudely tells the light-bulb to screw itself.*

    ISFP: Light-bulbs waste energy. ISFPs prefer to use more eco-friendly light-sources, such as candles

    ISTP: This is pretty self-explanatory. After all, ISTPs are "The Mechanics."

    ENFJ: ENFJ dramatically says, "O Romeo, wherefore art thou?" The disgruntled ISTP then replies, "Shut up and answer the question."

    ENTJ: Two. One to yell "What?!? What manner of light-bulb would dare to make such a mockery of me?!? It shall rue the day it was ever created!" The other to angrily screw in a new light-bulb and proceed to ruthlessly destroy the old light-bulb.

    INFJ:

    INTJ: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and a second to methodically analyze the source of the original error, create an algorithm for future improvement, and to analyze the velocity, angle, etc. of the first INTJ screwing the light-bulb just for fun. The third INTJ will use the willpower of the ENTJ and the ingenuity of the ENTP to create a global monopoly on light-bulbs. In reality though, this is all just an attempt to distract the general public from his master-plan for world domination.

    ENFP: (See answers for both ENTP and ESFP)

    ENTP: None...light-bulbs are the way of the past. Behold! My new ingenious creation! Never again will anyone every have to change a single light-bulb for the rest of one's life!

    INFP: Two. One to screw it in, and another to write a 230-page melancholy poem about how the old light-bulb is symbolic for the human race.

    INTP: Meh, only one, but he will be too lazy to actually do it. He'll probably just use the constant glow from his computer as his main light-source. All of this, of course, assumes that he actually notices that the old light-bulb will have gone out in the first place, since he is more involved in reading books on advanced algebraic topology and quantum chromodynamics, not to mention daydreaming, toying around with a Rubik's cube, hacking, and illegally downloading Star Trek episodes.

    I'm a horrible joke-teller, so please do attempt some of these on your own.

    *Note: The ESTP joke is courtesy of the socionics forum I refer to
    Last edited by MerkW; 11-24-2007 at 12:22 AM.
    "The mathematician's patterns, like the painter's or the poet's must be beautiful; the ideas like the colours or the words, must fit together in a harmonious way. Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the world for ugly mathematics..." - G.H. Hardy

    "Another roof, another proof." - Paul Erdős

    INTJ (I = 100, N = 100, T = 88, J = 43)
    Solitary/Idiosyncratic, 5w6 sp/sx
    RL(x)EI (RlxE|I|)- Inquisitive Dominant
    Reserved Idealist
    ILI-Ni/INTp

  2. #2
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merkw View Post
    I viewed a similar thread on a socionics forum, and I thought it would be fun to try out. So here we go.
    How many _ _ _ _ s does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    I'm a horrible joke-teller, so I left the punchlines up to the rest of you.
    I've got some more condensed ones...

    xSFJ: One. Because they have to do everything around here, and no one appreciates them!

    xSTJ: Two. One to read the instructions line by line, and the other to argue about the interpretation of them, eventually agreeing and changing the bulb together.

    xSFP: Two. One to complain that it's dark, and another to cajole some other type into fixing it.

    xSTP: Three. One to try removing the bulb out with a gadget they invented and electrocuting themselves, another to call 911, and a third to laugh at them and do it the right way.

    xNFJ: Three. One to talk about the meaning and symbolism of darkness as a metaphor for death/sleep in a larger context, another to try and come to a compromise with everyone else about how the bulb should be changed, and a third to decide to change the bulb so as to provide a prop to share their ideas about the symbolism of light as representing understanding.

    xNTJ: Three. One to propose how it should be changed, the other to argue about why their method wouldn't work, and the other to take the initiative on their own to sneak behind the backs of the first two while they argue and change it their way.

    xNFP: Zero. They don't want the light to come back, because the darkness reflects the inner turmoil and depression of their souls.

    xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time.

  3. #3
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    enfp..... none b/c they keep forgetting what they were doing and why they needed to do it....

    funny thing is that I have a chandelier with 5 bulbs in my dinning room which is where my computer is, and it's takes until all but 1 are burnt out for me to replace the bulb, and usually it's flickering.

    Also I rarely change the toilet paper roll typically my entp does it.... lol.....
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
    Jung Test Results
    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  4. #4
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    LOL at Merkw's ENTP.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  5. #5
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merkw View Post
    ENTJ: Two. One to yell "What?!? What manner of light-bulb would dare to make such a mockery of me?!? It shall rue the day it was ever created!" The other to angrily screw in a new light-bulb and proceed to ruthlessly destroy the old light-bulb.

    INFJ:

    INTJ: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and a second to methodically analyze the source of the original error, create an algorithm for future improvement, and to analyze the velocity, angle, etc. of the first INTJ screwing the light-bulb just for fun. The third INTJ will use the willpower of the ENTJ and the ingenuity of the ENTP to create a global monopoly on light-bulbs. In reality though, this is all just an attempt to distract the general public from his master-plan for world domination.

    ENFP: (See answers for both ENTP and ESFP)

    ENTP: None...light-bulbs are the way of the past. Behold! My new ingenious creation! Never again will anyone every have to change a single light-bulb for the rest of one's life!

    INFP: Two. One to screw it in, and another to write a 230-page melancholy poem about how the old light-bulb is symbolic for the human race.

    INTP: Meh, only one, but he will be too lazy to actually do it. He'll probably just use the constant glow from his computer as his main light-source. All of this, of course, assumes that he actually notices that the old light-bulb will have gone out in the first place, since he is more involved in reading books on advanced algebraic topology and quantum chromodynamics, not to mention daydreaming, toying around with a Rubik's cube, hacking, and illegally downloading Star Trek episodes.

    I'm a horrible joke-teller, so please do attempt some of these on your own.
    I laughed out loud at everything quoted. No, you're a great joke-teller! *snorts*

  6. #6
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    ESTJ: Will have an assistant/underling/secretary/etc. do it.

    ISTJ: Will look for direction on the side of the light bulb box for screwing it in, will follow them to the letter.

    ESFP: Was the one who unscrewed the lightbulb in the first place, just for the heck of it.

    INTP/ENTP: will notice the unscrewed light bulb, than think of an idea for a screwless light bulb, wander over to thinking of a different way to produce light, wonders how fluorescent lights work, and fluorescence in general..... A few days later will change it the usual way.

  7. #7
    Member Hypomanic's Avatar
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    Hmm... NT's will not discuss a light bulb's inner-workings or fluorescence... our minds are way too busy for such trivialities.

    ENTP: None...light-bulbs are the way of the past. Behold! My new ingenious creation! Never again will anyone every have to change a single light-bulb for the rest of one's life!
    ^^This is rather fitting. Why change a bulb when the energy mustn't be exerted?

  8. #8
    Member Hypomanic's Avatar
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    Err.. sorry but I have to correct these as well...

    Quote Originally Posted by Merkw View Post
    ENTJ: Two. One to yell "What?!? What manner of light-bulb would dare to make such a mockery of me?!? It shall rue the day it was ever created!" The other to angrily screw in a new light-bulb and proceed to ruthlessly destroy the old light-bulb.
    Only one ENTj is needed at any given time for any task.

    INTJ: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and a second to methodically analyze the source of the original error, create an algorithm for future improvement, and to analyze the velocity, angle, etc. of the first INTJ screwing the light-bulb just for fun. The third INTJ will use the willpower of the ENTJ and the ingenuity of the ENTP to create a global monopoly on light-bulbs. In reality though, this is all just an attempt to distract the general public from his master-plan for world domination.
    ?? I think the INTj would just smash the light for its incompetencies.. not analyze its velocity (as light bulbs are static).. maybe your thinking of the isfj

    INTP: Meh, only one, but he will be too lazy to actually do it. He'll probably just use the constant glow from his computer as his main light-source. All of this, of course, assumes that he actually notices that the old light-bulb will have gone out in the first place, since he is more involved in reading books on advanced algebraic topology and quantum chromodynamics, not to mention daydreaming, toying around with a Rubik's cube, hacking, and illegally downloading Star Trek episodes.
    LMAO. Impressive, this one is right on!

  9. #9
    Senior Member MerkW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hypomanic View Post
    ?? I think the INTj would just smash the light for its incompetencies.. not analyze its velocity (as light bulbs are static).. maybe your thinking of the isfj
    Clearly, the second INTJ is analyzing the velocity of the first INTJ (and the angle at which he screws in the light bulb), not the light-bulb itself! Perhaps I did not make myself clear. How can one measure the velocity of a stationary light-bulb? And light bulbs don't have to be static. I can think of many scenarios in which a light bulb will have a velocity, contrary to your original statement (yet the instance in my joke is not one of them).

    ISFJ? What kind of ISFJs do you hang around with? Since when do ISFJs plot world domination?
    "The mathematician's patterns, like the painter's or the poet's must be beautiful; the ideas like the colours or the words, must fit together in a harmonious way. Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the world for ugly mathematics..." - G.H. Hardy

    "Another roof, another proof." - Paul Erdős

    INTJ (I = 100, N = 100, T = 88, J = 43)
    Solitary/Idiosyncratic, 5w6 sp/sx
    RL(x)EI (RlxE|I|)- Inquisitive Dominant
    Reserved Idealist
    ILI-Ni/INTp

  10. #10
    Member Hypomanic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merkw View Post
    Clearly, the second INTJ is analyzing the velocity of the first INTJ (and the angle at which he screws in the light bulb), not the light-bulb itself! Perhaps I did not make myself clear. How can one measure the velocity of a stationary light-bulb? And light bulbs don't have to be static. I can think of many scenarios in which a light bulb will have a velocity, contrary to your original statement (yet the instance in my joke is not one of them).

    ISFJ? What kind of ISFJs do you hang around with? Since when do ISFJs plot world domination?
    Ahem.. some types are much more subtle than others in their goals. Still, your right on this one. I should have said ISTj... ISFj is considerably more than (usually). I still stand firm in my point that the description isn't fitting, however.

    Plus, you'd only need 1 INTj as well. Two would be overkill.. INTj's are more content focusing on themselves than on someone else (even if the other is an INTj, their velocity is of no importance with regards to how to use them as a human chess piece). Why would that need to be calculated anyway if they already intrinsically 'know'? I suspect their mindset is somewhat foreign to you.. as INTj's never have unneeded company around and are often quite competent in their own abilities.

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