I had to think what to post for your birthday to make you laugh, and I decided to share something that was sent to me.
The most functional word...
Well it's Shit ........ That's right, Shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can be shit faced,
Shit out of luck,
Or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together,
find a place for your shit
Or decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
Buy shit, sell shit,
Lose shit, find shit,
And tell others to eat shit and die.
Some people know their shit,
while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits
and sweet shits.
There is bullshit,
and chicken shit
You can throw shit,
or duck when shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit,
or serve shit,
You can be happier than a pig in shit,
or you can find yourself in deep shit.
Some days are cold as shit,
some days are hot as shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
Things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit,
or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit's creek without a paddle.
Sometimes every thing you touch turns to shit.
And others times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything
Happy Birthday you old fart.