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  1. #91
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElusiveRain View Post
    I'm sorry mrcockburn, somehow I've completely changed the OP of your thread. Anyone else who would like to discuss this, I'd be happy to give my opinion (and I know it is just my opinion), on my own page or in a PM. Unless mrcockburn is OK with it going on here. Really sorry...
    Haha no worries. This is clearly a topic that people have quite pronounced stances on, and this kind of vivacious discussion is natural and healthy. I myself can't say whether kids "should" or "should not" be spanked, as I didn't even know what it was until a few days ago.

  2. #92
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by syndatha View Post
    And, yes, I was spanked, mostly by my ISTJ-father. (My mother used to pinch me, twist my arm and things like that - no spanking.) I think my father was somewhat unstable when he spanked me - the level of frustration was just too high for him to handle. He didn't believe it was wrong, though. I think spanking is wrong, but even so, I find that I repeat his mistakes (in a much milder manner.)
    It looks like you're from Norway (I'm half Norwegian ) - and when I googled the subject of spanking, I read it was illegal there.

    Was your experience before the ban? If spanking is so common and it's outlawed, what do parents do in Norway now? I assume just ground them/scold them? (What happened to me...) (Oh and guilt. Lots of ESFJ-dished guilt.)

  3. #93
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElusiveRain View Post
    To Trinity:

    You are right, I've overstepped my bounds. I don't mean that a person hates themselves or their parent through all of childhood--just when they are being spanked. That is how most children feel while being spanked (not through their whole life), but I should not have assumed that about you.

    This subject is a difficult one for me, but I really don't like conflict, so hopefully there are no hard feelings. I wish I could take back even replying to this thread in the first place.
    I assure you there are no hard feelings and I didn't take offence to your post in the first place, I was just trying to make it really clear that although you've had a bad experience, and there are plenty of people out there who claim spanking is always wrong, it wasn't a negative thing in my childhood. The exception disproves the rule.

    I'm not even an advocate for parents to use spanking as a way to discipline and teach their children, I think it is too often done out of frustration or as a quick fix without thinking about the potential long term effects like you've explained. A parent who disciplines a child without understanding the consequences of their actions and taking the time to make sure the child understands is not teaching the right lessons. In those times spanking is one of the worst options to take.

    My mother purposely wanted to raise us to be responsible for ourselves as a young age, spanking wasn't something 'she just did', it was a very specific route she took towards teaching us how to be responsible, actually much of it came from a step book that the family doctor suggested. She was big into personal responsibility and personal growth and we were lucky enough that she was able to be a stay-at-home-mum so she could take the time to make sure we didn't see being disciplined as something to resent. I don't think many parents would, or even be able to take the same about of time and focus my mother did. I don't think I could.

  4. #94
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    It looks like you're from Norway (I'm half Norwegian ) - and when I googled the subject of spanking, I read it was illegal there.

    Was your experience before the ban? If spanking is so common and it's outlawed, what do parents do in Norway now? I assume just ground them/scold them? (What happened to me...) (Oh and guilt. Lots of ESFJ-dished guilt.)
    You're the first norwegian I meet in here
    Yes, spanking is illegal in Norway, and yes, I was spanked before it was illegal. I know that parents still spank their children (especially a problem with immigrants/other cultures; that was recently in the newspicture.) But, you know, it's hard to ban something that happens in private homes, how are you going to control that? And I doubt that you would actually be punished for something that happened on a few occations. We have several laws that aren't heavily legislated, but if there was a question of child neglect over time, I suppose you would be punished for spanking too. And the punishment would probably be that your children would be taken away from you.
    I have no sense of humour.

  5. #95
    Junior Member TheGolfCourse's Avatar
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    I've only been spanked/slapped by an ISTJ and an ENTJ parental figure and was often pinched by an ESTJ when growing up. I could only really say that a T is more likely to spank, I'm not sure what to say on the topic as far as the type most likely to use "corporal punishment" past that.

    As an aside, I don't like it, and I'm not going to spank my kids.
    The greatest revenge is living well.

  6. #96
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Wow, is pinching a common form of punishment? I've been hearing a few people talk about that lately...

    I just want to reiterate what I said before about each child being different and having different needs. I was spanked and it bothered me, but nowhere near as much as being put on time out. I quickly forgot a swat within seconds but being separated from people, ostracized and told not to speak (gasp!), really sucked. It was like if I made a mistake, I wasn't even respected as human anymore. Hated it more than anything in the world.

    I used that time to plot my revenge, btw. Never give a bratty child time to plan.

    My friends parents used to lock him out of the house. Wow. Little did they know the amount of trouble he got into when no one was there to protect and monitor him. Also, a very bad decision if you ask me.

  7. #97
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    there is evidence that spanked kids preform better in school and in life and have no adverse effects. Spanking moderately that is, spanking doesn't leave marks and their are no impliments ought to be used. In European countries where spanking is illegal (not the UK), punishment gets pretty twisted like being locked in places etc...
    In European countries where spanking and harsh discipline methods are illegal, kids also perform better in school than almost any other region in the world.

    And as far as evidence goes, the definite majority of studies seem to be critical of child spanking, including moderate spanking.

    There are some pro-spanking or beating studies, some from dubious religious sources, but the raw data seems to favor the anti side.

  8. #98
    Senior Member sticker's Avatar
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    Skipped to the last page after reading the first post so pardon me if I said something that's already been said.

    From what I see, European and Asian countries indeed have very different views of raising kids.

    I'm from an Asian country, with an ESFJ mom and ISTJ dad.
    My sister and I used to get caned by my mum pretty frequently until we were about 14. My 11 year old brother still gets caned once in a while. My sister and I usually don't interfere (most likely from being used/numb to the implications of it) unless things get out of hand.

    Something else of note, there's a Chinese proverb that goes "???????" (Beating is caring, scolding is loving)
    ??????? - Wiktionary
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  9. #99
    Amazing Spambot! Cloudblue's Avatar
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    XSXJs
    Especially Caribbean ones...
    Kindblue,from globalchatter...
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  10. #100
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I was spanked and it bothered me, but nowhere near as much as being put on time out.
    I was spanked, and *then* put on time out LOL
    I have no sense of humour.

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