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  1. #261
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Substitute: the Lady's not for turning.

  2. #262
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    (I'm glad that I'm not the only one who wondered about the change from a robot to the iron lady- not much of a difference in my opinion of course except the robot was a hell of a lot less scary! )
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #263
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by htb View Post
    Substitute: the Lady's not for turning.
    I think she does quite a bit of turning, actually... if we're counting stomachs...
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  4. #264
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I think she does quite a bit of turning, actually... if we're counting stomachs...
    Heh. I'd have butterflies too, were I on that Labour backbench.

  5. #265
    ~dangerous curves ahead~
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    Carebear:

    A well-read bear, you're instinctively attracted to warmth, comfort, relationships. Drawn to beauty vs abstract thinking. You'd seek peace and stability over a changeable, exciting life.

    Poor planner, probably have regular difficulty with deadlines, but it has gotten better.

    Have difficulty to find closure and is blocking out some part of your past. Trying to make a clean cut of things. Question if it is avoidance driving you vs acceptance and truly moving on? Sensation of rushing towards the future.

    On appearance, you tend to try give the image of a rational, open, easy to get along with person. In most parts, that is true, you're relatively well balanced - neither goals too high you over-reach yourself, nor desires so dark you'd destroy yourself.

    You're intelligent but insecure. You read people intuitively, and I'd surmise fairly accurately, but you doubt your intuition a bit too much, second guessing yourself on both your intelligence and your intuition - comes across like you trust neither actually.

    Put a lot of pressure on yourself, and are likely to critique yourself harshly, though you think you're not hard enough on yourself. You measure yourself to some inner standard vs external.

    Tendency to hide behind an apparent openness, with a habit of pushing people away if they get close. Perhaps the charge of being wrapped up in yourself has been laid at your door. But it is not because you do not care, but rather, you do not feel you know how to care for someone, though they may assure you otherwise.

    Warm person by nature, some would say soft-hearted, but you do not share this freely. (To avoid overwhelming others?)

    Non-confrontational, the direct approach is not your forte. But you seek feedback and affirmation - This means you're likely to try get responses in a roundabout way - passive-aggressive.

    Can be rather forceful if crossed. In conflict and under stress, could revert to a childlike manner, losing the ability to reason, and go high on emotions, which you later feel ashamed of.

    Often serious about shaping things into your way, which you genuinely believe is for the best.

  6. #266
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    Thank you very much, Aelan! I'm very grateful.
    (Sub should also thank you for saving him from having to admit I was right about the "several weeks". )

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Carebear:

    A well-read bear, you're instinctively attracted to warmth, comfort, relationships. Drawn to beauty vs abstract thinking. You'd seek peace and stability over a changeable, exciting life.
    Yes, I'm definitely well read, I think. (HW gives that away? I'm impressed.) I'm drawn a lot both to beauty and abstract thinking, but abstract thinking mostly to shed light on the beauty of an abstract concept (if that makes sense). And yes, I do seek peace and stability over a changeable, exciting life, but I hate it whenever I succeed and immediately try to stirr up change and excitement again. It's one of my major problems I think. I can't stop seeking peace and try to understand and map the mechanics of interaction, feelings etc, but at the same time I can't stand predictability. Whenever I got a really exciting Christmas gift as a child, I looked forward to the novelty wearing off, but once it did, I started hoping for something new. Same with books. Needed to get to the end of them, hated having finished them. Bah... I've gotten better over the years, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Poor planner, probably have regular difficulty with deadlines, but it has gotten better.
    Horrible planner. And even worse at sticking to plans. I'll be two years late with my master's when I finally deliver it, but as always it'll probably be very good once I get there. The process these four years has really taught me to work through some of the issues though, so yes, it's getting much better.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Have difficulty to find closure and is blocking out some part of your past. Trying to make a clean cut of things. Question if it is avoidance driving you vs acceptance and truly moving on? Sensation of rushing towards the future.
    Yes. Closure isn't something I'm good at, while I've developed trying to make a clean cut of things into an artform. As for blocking out some part of the past, I'm wondering which of the parts you're talking about (and what you mean by blocking). Repression, internalisation, playing down the importance of something and making a clean cut has always been my main ways of dealing with things (big and small, though as you might have guessed I don't see any of the big things as all that big ). I think I'm aware of all the things still though, so I wouldn't say they're blocked out. Just put in labled boxes that I rarely open. I see this process as a mix of avoidance and acceptance. I've accepted that they're there, have gone through it all when I put it in the box, but try to avoid opening the boxes. When I occasionally do (or am forced to), I'm once again embarrased/sad/angry, so in a sense I haven't moved on, but I know where the boxes are and what they contain, so they never surprise me. I'm not aware of any unmarked boxes, so if that's what you mean by blocking, you might be right, but I can't confirm it.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    On appearance, you tend to try give the image of a rational, open, easy to get along with person. In most parts, that is true, you're relatively well balanced - neither goals too high you over-reach yourself, nor desires so dark you'd destroy yourself.
    Sounds accurate and what the people who really know me report.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    You're intelligent but insecure. You read people intuitively, and I'd surmise fairly accurately, but you doubt your intuition a bit too much, second guessing yourself on both your intelligence and your intuition - comes across like you trust neither actually.
    Yes. I've always read people intuitively, and after I got together with my INFJ wife and she taught me to look for the hidden patterns (and helped me develop Ni more), it's often scarily accurate. But no, I don't trust either when it comes to action or making a decision. Might be it's the Ne presenting me with a multitude of equally likely interpretations/outcomes that paralyse me, but I'm fairly certain it's more about the pussy Fi being too afraid of the embarrasment/potential conflict which could be the result if I'm wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Put a lot of pressure on yourself, and are likely to critique yourself harshly, though you think you're not hard enough on yourself. You measure yourself to some inner standard vs external.
    Yes and no. Hm.. or mostly yes. My problems with deadlines is normally a result of doubts about my thoughts being good enough and I've always seen how they could have been better if I only read more, used some more time etc. I see that I objectively do much better and am much smarter than the average, but it doesn't really matter if I don't measure up to my own standards. Normally I don't quite, so I'll compromize and say that "ok, you're off the hook this time because you had a time limit and something is better than nothing, but next time..."

    World of Warcraft: Group dungeons have a preferred level range. The first character I played I never dared ask for a group for any dungeon before I was at least the max level req for that dungeon, even if the majority of players started asking for groups for it long before they really qualified. To me it was important to be an asset to a group, and I would punished myself hard if I found I was the opposite. Even if I knew I was a very good team player and provided lots of funny commentary along the way, and even if people really wanted me to join earlier, I stalled until I was certain I had enough character xp to make up for my lacking personal experience of that particular dungeon. The second time around however, I was relaxed, because now I knew the dynamics of the dungeon and could make up for lacking game xp with my own experience.

    So yes, I put a lot of preassure on myself.
    (Sounds worse than it is now, however. No one except me will notice, normally. It's all an internal process.)

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Tendency to hide behind an apparent openness, with a habit of pushing people away if they get close. Perhaps the charge of being wrapped up in yourself has been laid at your door. But it is not because you do not care, but rather, you do not feel you know how to care for someone, though they may assure you otherwise.
    Yes, but not always. I do let some people in, but I'll grant that my default attitude is hiding behind openness and leading people away from my vulnerabilities. I am wrapped up in myself in the sense that I rarely share much of my life and feelings, but I don't think I have a problem with caring for others or knowing how to do it. In fact the caring for others bit is the first thing close ones will bring up as one of my strengths.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Warm person by nature, some would say soft-hearted, but you do not share this freely. (To avoid overwhelming others?)
    I don't really hide it IRL, but neither do I score macho-points by showing it to everyone, so it's something I only show freely if I think it'll be appreciated/accepted.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Non-confrontational, the direct approach is not your forte. But you seek feedback and affirmation - This means you're likely to try get responses in a roundabout way - passive-aggressive.
    All true. The passive-agressive bit manifests itself as avoidance and procrastination.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Can be rather forceful if crossed. In conflict and under stress, could revert to a childlike manner, losing the ability to reason, and go high on emotions, which you later feel ashamed of.
    I'm not really ashamed of it. I find it amusing. Something goes "twank" and all of a sudden I'm a neanderthal, stubborn and irrational (shouting and throwing things on the floor (after I've made sure they can't break), but never violent or dangerous.) Only happens a couple of times a year though, when really pressed, so it's no big problem. Normally I'll respond to being crossed, being under stress etc, with passivity.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Often serious about shaping things into your way, which you genuinely believe is for the best.
    Only shaping that which wants to be shaped, and only if it doesn't work. If something works (and I don't see why it wouldn't work in the long run) I don't touch it. I don't hold any answers, only some principles I think should work for some people and some others for others.


    I'm starting to be convinced there's something to this graphology mumbo jumbo after all. Even if a lot of the above could be piceded together by my online persona and MBTI, I trust you primarily based the above on HW, and I'm impressed. I'll definitely start reading more about it.
    Again thanks a lot, Aelan.

  7. #267
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    Thanks for the feedback. Sounds about 70% there.

    Re blocking: putting things into little boxes and not opening them is one way of that actually. But you're functioning normally, so that means it works for you. We all exorcise the past in different ways.

    Carebear. . I'm an ENTP. . I'm not likely to be sitting here scrolling through your last posts to figure you out *chuckles*. If you want an idea of analysis based on type and post, I did Pink on her blog.

    Could be fun to read more about it and try it on your students in future - you'd be surprised at the ice-breaker it can be. =)

    Ok. . worklist done:

    Targo
    Varelse
    Cze
    Jennifer
    cafe
    prplchknz
    arcticangel
    Splittet
    themadness
    substitute
    aelan
    nightning
    athenian
    cascademn
    runvardh
    carebear
    artlessfuture
    randomnity

    Outstanding - htb.

    htb's sub's baby, so I shan't touch him, I guess.

    Done before Christmas! *yay*

  8. #268
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Re blocking: putting things into little boxes and not opening them is one way of that actually. But you're functioning normally, so that means it works for you. We all exorcise the past in different ways.
    Ok, I was wondering about that. I'd say you're more than 70% then actually. (On your statements that is. Ofc they don't come 70% close on describing me, but that isn't the point. Your statements fit more like 90%.)

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Carebear. . I'm an ENTP. . I'm not likely to be sitting here scrolling through your last posts to figure you out *chuckles*. If you want an idea of analysis based on type and post, I did Pink on her blog.
    Oh, thanks! I'll check Pink's blog. I wrote what I wrote for me really. To process your statements. I wasn't even sure I would post them, but thought "what the heck". Never intended for you to do do a psychoanalysis of my answers, just see that your statements fit rather well.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Could be fun to read more about it and try it on your students in future - you'd be surprised at the ice-breaker it can be. =)
    I will read more, and I don't think I'll be surprised about the ice-breaker power. I've already tried cold reading-esque techniques with people I've met in bars with great success, but it wouldn't feel right to use something so manipulative and false with people I wanted to build trust with.

  9. #269
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carebear View Post
    Oh, thanks! I'll check Pink's blog. I wrote what I wrote for me really. To process your statements. I wasn't even sure I would post them, but thought "what the heck". Never intended for you to do do a psychoanalysis of my answers, just see that your statements fit rather well.
    I will read more, and I don't think I'll be surprised about the ice-breaker power. I've already tried cold reading-esque techniques with people I've met in bars with great success, but it wouldn't feel right to use something so manipulative and false with people I wanted to build trust with.
    Thanks for sharing then. Much appreciated. =)

    That's the good thing abt HW I guess. . you'd base it on factors you see in the paper, and as long as you make clear what comes from where, and that it is a snapshot at the moment and not what they'd be. Or do what Sub and I do, rarely give the hard truth unless asked for / find a way to phrase things nicely; it can knock down some bricks off some walls. =) good luck.

  10. #270
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    Danke. I do hope you didn't hide any hard truths about my HW, but I guess I'll only know when I've learned the skill myself and can analyze my own hw.

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