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  1. #61
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    I haven't yet ever uttered those words of deep affection to a spouse.
    Million-Dollar Question: Do you have a spouse?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #62
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Million-Dollar Question: Do you have a spouse?
    No, I knew 'spouse' was the wrong word. What was it, 'significant other'? Sorry. It was the first word that came up in my mind so I just put it down. I've been thinking quite a bit about marriage recently.

  3. #63
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    haha, traitor
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #64
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    No, I knew 'spouse' was the wrong word. What was it, 'significant other'? Sorry. It was the first word that came up in my mind so I just put it down. I've been thinking quite a bit about marriage recently.
    Oh, that nuance wasn't my point, I just couldn't tell if you were serious or being funny, since your statement could both be true AND meaningless simultaneously if you had no spouse.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #65
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    haha, traitor

  6. #66
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Oh, that nuance wasn't my point, I just couldn't tell if you were serious or being funny, since your statement could both be true AND meaningless simultaneously if you had no spouse.
    I see. Well I was being quite serious. And I also doubt I'd say it until I'm deep in marriage also. I didn't intend for there to be humour.

  7. #67
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    I see. Well I was being quite serious. And I also doubt I'd say it until I'm deep in marriage also.
    Everyone's different.

    (The issue in a case like this is simply that not everyone's compatible.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #68
    *hmmms* theadoor's Avatar
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    I never tell it, well I do, but never for people with who I really feel like I maybe should. I'm just afraid of confirming any kind of feelings, because, oh, they're changing a lot. I think it's a really serious thing to say, when you really mean it...
    Oh yeah?

  9. #69
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theaferist View Post
    I'm just afraid of confirming any kind of feelings, because, oh, they're changing a lot. I think it's a really serious thing to say, when you really mean it...
    I really identify with all that.

    It was easier when I stopped looking at "I love you" as descriptive of my feelings and more as a choice and commitment on my part regardless of the feelings.

    I think this is a TP trap, to keep thinking of things as descriptors of an internal state (which seems too inconsistent to commit to anything) rather than as a description of choice and attitude. We need to shift from an Informative role to a more Judging/Managing role.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #70
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post

    I think this is a TP trap, to keep thinking of things as descriptors of an internal state (which seems too inconsistent to commit to anything) rather than as a description of choice and attitude. We need to shift from an Informative role to a more Judging/Managing role.
    Yes that's good !

    I have another thing, I dont know if it fits that description aswell, I needed to learn a lot about that I feel about things at all. There are times my girlfriend imputes a feeling to my reaction to a topic like she says: I am reacting offended, hurt, sensitive, etc.

    The thing is I know about these feelings and how they feel and I know to the greatest extent possible how my words are perceived emotionally by another person. But I do that in a very controlled way in which I choose whether I want to convey a feeling or not.

    The thing is my girlfriend hold me the mirror in front of my face to give me the ability to see how much real feelings I do convey in a discussion that I dont even notice. Therefore they must be real feelings cause IO dont notice them. Plus that she is able to interprete what she sees in one sentence and make it clear to me.

    Something like enabling me to be introspective or extrospective, dunno. I admit I'm way retarded in many ways and I am glad to have met someone with the ability to show me.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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