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  1. #1
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
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    Default To what extent should what other people think of you matter?

    Discuss especially:
    - Situational circumstances (if you think that it's situational)
    - Reasons (Don't just say it, say why you said it)

    I'm still thinking about it, but I want to hear what other people think.










    The probability that I was procrastinating when I was typing this post:

    P(have big assignment due) = 0.6
    P(posting on TypoC) = 0.2
    P(having big assignment due | posting on TypoC) = 0.7

    P(posting on TypoC | having big assignment due) = .......


    Eh, I'll finish it later.

  2. #2
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    it should matter somewhat since humans are social creatures, but if you're willing to pay the price of doing things that are against the grain all of the time, I suppose that's you're choice

    I mean, babies are hideously ugly, but I'm not going to tell someone who's carrying one around showing it off that it looks like a little troll!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #3
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    To what extent should what other people think of you matter?

    Discuss especially:
    - Situational circumstances (if you think that it's situational)
    The extent what other people think matters to me in direct proportion to their perceived importance to me in my life.

    - Reasons (Don't just say it, say why you said it)

    My parents opinion of the man I chose to marry was very important to me - though I would have broken with them if they'd been hard-nosed about it. There were many other people expressing opinions one way or another about our age difference at that time - they didn't matter to me.

    My husband - his thoughts and opinions were incredibly important to me. This didn't mean I always agreed with him - we did have some rather spectacular arguments. But consider that I'm an INFP - I would not argue with anyone if they weren't important to me.

    More?

  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think people need to have a strong enough sense of self that they are not entirely defined by what others say about them or think of them. People can be easily swayed and what they think about something may not always indicate what is right to do.

    On the other hand, people's reactions and behaviours towards us are one of the primary ways we have of seeing our non-physical self mirrored back to us. Without that, we would not be aware of when we are hurting people unintentionally or being needlessly offensive. That means that we need enough reliable people in our lives who know us well enough to be honest with us, and why we also need to develop our skills of reading other people's reactions. That way we can modify our behaviour to reflect our intentions.

    It matters because we also are of little use to ourselves on our own. We need the other knowledge, skills, perspectives, skills, wisdom and character traits that we lack to make a cohesive whole. We even need others bad traits to wear off our rough edges. We need interaction to make us aware of our abrasiveness spots towards others.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    it should matter somewhat since humans are social creatures,
    IA.

    It matters if:
    - I care about that person's opinion.
    - the opinion touches on some personal truth about me.
    - It serves a purpose to me to present myself a certain way to fulfill an aim, i.e., not caring would be a hindrance to my aim.
    - not caring harms the other person in some way, and the other is not someone I want to deliberately hurt.
    - I'm in the mood to care.

    Any of those reasons (or combination of) depending on the situation.

  6. #6
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    How much you should care about what others think of you should directly correspond to how much you rely on said people.

    I think it might be that simple.

  7. #7
    morose bourgeoisie
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    It depends on whom you are referring to by 'people'.

    If a person has a tendency to undervalue themselves, then an honest opinion can be very valuable and reassuring.

    On the other hand, if you're narcissistic, you may benefit from others' bringing you down to earth from the dizzying heights of your own self-appraisal.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Hirsch63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cenomite View Post
    Discuss especially:
    - Situational circumstances (if you think that it's situational)
    - Reasons (Don't just say it, say why you said it)

    I'm still thinking about it, but I want to hear what other people think.
    To the extent that it may hinder your ability to achieve your particular vision of "happiness".

    If you are anti-social...see others as beneath you...don't shower or bathe...do not regard your reputation as the business of any other....then your desire for a life aloof should be fulfilled.

    But what if you desire social interaction or even sucess in a very socially based profession? Yeah it is important because word-of-mouth works very well and always has...and with today's technology your mis-steps can be shared very quickly with many others...even though you may be totally mis-represented.

    it used to be that we lived in small enough communities that reputation was very highly valued. For a long time with urbanization and transportation we have been able to escape the consequences of a compromised reputation....now with technology that is practically inescapable...behavior may again become very valued. Though you would not know it by the habits of the rich and famous....and the erosion of religious values (right or wrong) we may see a comback of scrupulous ethical behavior (based on calculation) rather than moral behavior based on a fear of divine retribution.
    Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king

  9. #9
    Pumpernickel
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    How much you should care about what others think of you should directly correspond to how much you rely on said people.

    I think it might be that simple.
    Maybe, but probably not.

  10. #10
    Senior Thread Terminator Aerithria's Avatar
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    If you're referring to 'people' as in society, you should generally stop before someone would either have you committed or thrown in jail.

    Otherwise, it depends on how much respect I have for the person, if I'm going to need things from that person in the future, or if that person can in any way alter my future (such as, a professor, reviewer, etc.). The same should be given to the person I am/hope to be romantically involved with, though they should already fall under the category of 'respect'.
    [insert funny quote/saying/etc.]

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