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  1. #11
    Ginkgo
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    Pseudointellectualizing may help?

    How to become a pseudo intellectual


    Read an obscure book on philosophy (something existential is always good, maybe from Camus, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, or Sartre) and remember the main points of the book. If you are truly pseudo, all you need to read are the Amazon.com reviews of the book. But having this obscure philosophy book in your repertoire is critical to any pseudo intellectual. Write down four or five key 'ideas' of the obscure philosophy book, and then work them into conversations with people. It is amazing at how easy it is to work in obscure philosophy into regular conversations with your friends and coworkers.

    Read the Amazon.com reviews of a pop-culture or pop-science book once a year. Write down a few points from the book, and commit them to memory. This will keep your pseudo-status fresh. Nobody likes a pseudo intellectual who keeps brining up the same idea over and over. You need fresh new ideas to steal and make it sound like you are well-read and smart.

    Step 2

    Read the Amazon.com reviews of a pop-culture or pop-science book once a year. Write down a few points from the book, and commit them to memory. This will keep your pseudo-status fresh. Nobody likes a pseudo intellectual who keeps brining up the same idea over and over. You need fresh new ideas to steal and make it sound like you are well-read and smart.

    Step 3

    Once you have mastered someone else's ideas and can drop them into conversations at will, learn to describe the ideas as if you find them interesting, but nothing new. A pseudo-intellectual is never impressed. Everyone else's ideas are at best intriguing, 'but you're just not really sure about them.'

    Step 4

    Go to Hollywood and study the people there at least once in your life. These people are masters at being pseudo intellectuals, and for this they should be respected by us all. Don't say anything when you go. Just walk around observing how the people there interact with each other. They all seem to do the minimal amount of cognitive work necessary to be considered human while spending most of their time grooming, socializing, shopping, and creating personal dramas for them to talk to each other about.
    Lol, thanks Argus (Who's not a pseudointellectual... maybe.)

  2. #12
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Go to this thread.


    And post "Did she at least had an orgasm or it was all for noting ? "


    I am prettly sure that most people would be annoyed by that kind of comment over there at the time.
    Other trollish things to do (note that I'm not actually picking on antisocial one, here, but using his post as troll fodder):

    1) Take innocuous things out of context and act horribly offended by them: "What do you mean by 'most people,' Antisocial one? Are you implying that people who don't agree shouldn't be considered people at all? I can't believe you are dehumanizing others like that! Who are you to judge, anyway?!? Why don't you just come out and say 'your people' like the racist bastard you are!"

    2) Pounce on any typo or minor mistake: "'all for noting?' WTF does that mean?!? 'noting'?!? Really?!? If you can't be bothered to proofread your own postings and have to waste everyone else's time figuring out WTF you mean, don't post at all!!! And try using some proper punctuation! I'm sorry you didn't graduate the third grade, but you don't have to inflict that fact on the rest of us!!!"

    Note the judicious use of more ad hominem attacks and the greatly aggrieved tone. A good troll sounds put upon that he HAS to point out everyone else's stupidity.

    Also note that nothing of substance was discussed. In fact, ignore any substance and only respond to the most strident part of emotional postings. Ignoring multiple reasonable posts is recommended.

  3. #13
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    The first rule of trolling, know your audience.

    Everyone is offended by something, scout people out to find what pushes their buttons.

    Trolling INTPc, for example, is very different from trolling here. Even though claiming to be abusing children or acting like Mayflow works on both.

    Basic examples: On INTPc just use anything other than regular fonts and lots of smilies, here just claim something negative about all members of a certain type.

    The second rule of trolling, make it believable.

    If everyone recognises the troll, it becomes ten times as hard to troll (unless you are just spamming gore or child porn, but that's amateur trolling anyway).

    The best way I find of doing this, is coming up with a semi-rational argument for your position. So say I was blaming a rape on the woman who got raped, go find all those silly arguments like "she seduced him" or "what do you expect when you dress like a slut", but elaborate and really make it seem like you've thought about it a lot.

    A major part of that is not being blunt with your point, and making your posts long enough to seem legit.


    Anyway, there's as many ways to troll as there are people to troll, so these are just basic guidelines I remember from my trolling days.

    The wait'n'troll is one of my favourites, set up a forum persona for as long as you can endure, then slowly break down the character, pissing more and more people off. Only the greatest pros will recognise that one. You have to be a good actor for that one.

  4. #14
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Hero Troll: The troll who apparently comes to the aid of another person/type/idea.

    So your trolling and after a while you get a bit of a rep and people tend to be wary of you and give you a wide berth. No problem, become a hero troll.

    The important thing when becoming a hero troll for another poster is not to rescue them when they actually need rescuing but rather overemphasize a small slight. Then elaborate on it to build up to become a major insult. Thus the added pleasure of insulting both rescued and alleged provoker in the process. If the 3 way argument is strung out long enough switch side mid debate to have the allure of being fair and balanced and then switch back with additional fury and moral outrage. Bring up the argument whenever you notice a thread they are both soliciting. Remind the alleged offended party often of the insult as well as that they are indebted to the you (the troll) for coming to their aid.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  5. #15
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    How to Effectively Troll
    You don't need any advice.
    Keep it up, you're doing great!

  6. #16
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    get competive... no one should be able to troll as good as or as undetected as you.....

    have trolling up the wall contests.... always fun to watch

  7. #17
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Got the idea for this thread from another thread on what MBIT type trolls the most. Ok trolling in general is kinda bad...yet it is an interesting phenomenon. Some are better at it than others. How do you know someone is trolling? How come some trolls get caught and others do not? Free speech concerns? Comedy aspects, when you know you have gone too far? is there a right time to troll etc.

    Primarily the purpose of this thread is to put together a list of how to effectively be a troll. What is the criterion? Avoidance of capture vs. going down in flames right and proper.

    Discuss
    Trolling can not be done effectively, if you troll for the sake of boredom that is.

    But if you have ill conceived motives to try and destroy the site, or certain members, or intend to instill hostility between groups, etc. Then there are ways that would work better than others. But I wouldn't recommend trying that sorta thing. Cuz, I wouldn't like you very much if you did.

    There are no other reasons to troll.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  8. #18
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Randomly accuse people (unjustly) of being gay, racist, sexist etc...by taking something they say out of context.

    Start talking crap about someone in a thread that they haven't even participated in yet.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  9. #19
    Sniffles
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    We should put our ideas together and write an Ehow column about this.

  10. #20
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Trolling can not be done effectively, if you troll for the sake of boredom that is.

    But if you have ill conceived motives to try and destroy the site, or certain members, or intend to instill hostility between groups, etc. Then there are ways that would work better than others. But I wouldn't recommend trying that sorta thing. Cuz, I wouldn't like you very much if you did.

    There are no other reasons to troll.
    I beg to differ as I think a lot of trolling is bonafide people who are upset, crazy, drunk, attention whores or just overreactors in general or one even normal people who let a specific thing(s)/people gets under their skin. Most, even when they know what they are doing, feel morally justified.

    At least in the beginning. Trolling is like heroin, its addictive...especially in the proper dosage.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

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