My perspective of Fe basically boils down to feelings of connectedness with others.
- Warmth, congeniality, openness of expression
- Knowing when to say what youíre thinking and feeling and knowing when not to say exactly what youíre thinking and feeling
- Having someone on your mind
- Seriously wondering why we all just canít get along
- Thereís strength in numbers
- Atmospheric; feeling the energy of the crowd
Not feeling youíre so unique and different that youíre incapable of being comforted and solaced by another, being ok with blending in, finding freedom of anonymity, fading into the background, faceless and nameless, being one of billions. I often wonder whatís wrong with being averageÖnot settling for mediocrity, complacence, or herd mentality, but just accepting that youíre 99.9% similar to the person next to you. Looking for a common denominator. For me that blunts a lot of inner turmoil because I know I donít feel anything that no one else has never experienced so then itís just a matter of finding those people. There can be the dissatisfaction of not finding what youíre looking for, but you donít doubt that it exists. It doesnít mean that personal circumstances donít have their own unique spin, but generally I donít carry the burden of feeling like no one understands, no one can understand me, or that Iím constantly misunderstood.
I feel like my understanding of myself comes through my understanding of others. Theyíre a mirror for me to see myself in. Since I believe that my perception of myself fundamentally distorted (the whole through a glass darkly dilemmaÖthrough selfish interests and self-blindness) I use how I react to people, situations, events, thoughts, and indicators of who I am. Iíve recently come to believe that I donít know Iíll react to something until Iím in it because what I think Iíd do and what Iíve done have diverged greatly.
I know that many Fes may not feel this way: Iím very vigilant to emotional vampires and black holes without feeling the need to save them. Sadly I know that some people cannot be redeemed and I donít feel the need to expose myself to their toxins and yank them from the edge of destruction. I often feel like theyíre getting their just desserts...you never know what they've done in their past. Kudos and much respect to those who are willing to do that but I canít.