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  1. #1
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Default Impulse Control Issues???

    Most of my life I have had impulse control issues.

    There are some parts of my life that I am very thankful for having them, such as never having been too shy or had the time to think myself out of initiating conversations with people, dedicating some part of my life to pursuing things that interest me regardless of their relevance to my responsibilities, and for the fun that is had being playful and unpredictable.

    However...there are times when impulse control issues have cost me big time, and others where I nearly lost one of my nine lives because of them.

    One quick example. I was working as an IT consultant at a large insurance company. My friend Jeff gave me a can of "Silly String" that he did not want. What did I do with it? A few minutes later the chief information officer of the company came into the office that me and two other guys shared (an old conference room) and moments after his entry, I blasted him with the silly string. He actually laughed. He and I were cool with each other, which I knew somehow and which ultimately assisted in causing me to move forward with the act.

    But my boss, oh dear Jesus, my boss turned white. He looked like he had seen his own ghost. Man oh man, did I get lectured, e-mailed, etc. for that. Later, I found out that the president of the company wanted to fire me for it! But my boss actually pleaded to keep me, because I was of great help to him, and because he knew that me and the other guy were cool. I actually started taking the CIO to the gym at lunch a few days per week. Haa!!!

    So that's ONE of my impulse control issue stories.

    Common themes I've heard expressed while conversing this topic with others in the past include acts like shoplifting, promiscuity, expenditure of money, etc.

    Anyone else have trouble dealing with pursuing one's inclinations, regardless of how silly they are?

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  2. #2
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Default

    I've got a hell of a lot of self-control, to be honest I'm virtually vulcan in my capacity to control my impulses, if I have a problem its that I can be too controlled and fail to "cut my stick when I find it", ie take the chances which come along.

    My work involves a lot of trying to teach others impulse control or manage the fall out, especially for their kids, when they fail to, it pisses me of the extent to which its out of vogue to be in control and demonstrate your self-control. I'm not talking about stuff like what Halla's talking about, which sounds fun, but the sort of impulsiveness which quickly gets channelled into crime or addiction or some other kind of bad habit.

  3. #3
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I've got a hell of a lot of self-control, to be honest I'm virtually vulcan in my capacity to control my impulses, if I have a problem its that I can be too controlled and fail to "cut my stick when I find it", ie take the chances which come along.
    Have a martini and don't use so much starch!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    My work involves a lot of trying to teach others impulse control or manage the fall out, especially for their kids, when they fail to, it pisses me of the extent to which its out of vogue to be in control and demonstrate your self-control. I'm not talking about stuff like what Halla's talking about, which sounds fun, but the sort of impulsiveness which quickly gets channelled into crime or addiction or some other kind of bad habit.

    Absolutely, there are some (my ex-sister in law!) that took impulse control way out into left field, and ruined other's lives for a good period of time because of it. She's lucky I lived in a different state when she pulled the shit she did. I would've helped her have a really bad accident.
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    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
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    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  4. #4
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Hm. I can't say I relate to the OP entirely, because although I do act upon impulse a lot, my impulsiveness usually doesn't generate a lot of drama for me. Occasionally, of course, but Halla I wouldn't have you any other way.

    I guess my thought immediately came to, where do you feel like you want to draw the line? On one hand, the story told does say that if you had controlled that act you wouldn't have potentially lost your job (thank God you didn't though!) and financial stability over silly string... but the other part of the story is you are who you are, and you are quite the silly-string sort of guy.

    Where do you think having a bit of self-control on things like this is needed, and where do you think you'd stop being yourself if you held back too much? Or I suppose, even moreso.. How much of yourself do you have to hold back for the pro's of self-control outweigh the con's of having to be outside of yourself?
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    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    for me my impulses come while Im snowboarding.

    i've gone into caution tape areas, and gotten stuck for hours and fell off cliffs before. it just happens as I am in the groove boarding, and nothing else matters except for following the trail and the outline of the mountain.

    but when it comes to other things, i think i have pretty good self control. i've never had a bad crazy night of drinking where i lose it going mad and crazy, like i have seen practically everyone else i know do at least once.

    by now though, i no longer snowboard into caution tape areas.

  6. #6
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    IT'S NOT AN ISSUE, IT'S AWESOME
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  7. #7
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I've got a hell of a lot of self-control, to be honest I'm virtually vulcan in my capacity to control my impulses, if I have a problem its that I can be too controlled and fail to "cut my stick when I find it", ie take the chances which come along.
    Yeah, this is pretty much me. Although I've really tried to get better with the last piece, over the past 5 yrs or so....trying to take advantage of opportunities and taking more interpersonal risks as well. Trying to let go more.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  8. #8
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I've got a hell of a lot of self-control, to be honest I'm virtually vulcan in my capacity to control my impulses, if I have a problem its that I can be too controlled and fail to "cut my stick when I find it", ie take the chances which come along.
    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Yeah, this is pretty much me. Although I've really tried to get better with the last piece, over the past 5 yrs or so....trying to take advantage of opportunities and taking more interpersonal risks as well. Trying to let go more.

    I'd like to say though, it's really cool to me that we have folks like you two posting here too, as these things are foreign concepts to me, and it's good to hear the takes of my "opposites" so to speak.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  9. #9
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Anyone else have trouble dealing with pursuing one's inclinations...
    Ha, yes, but I have the opposite problem with being far too controlled. That's why you, and people like you, are so badass. What'd the world be without yall? Boooring.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  10. #10
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Hm. I can't say I relate to the OP entirely, because although I do act upon impulse a lot, my impulsiveness usually doesn't generate a lot of drama for me. Occasionally, of course, but Halla I wouldn't have you any other way.
    Awwww...shucks! OK, you can mace me now, you know you have impulse control issues over being certified to spray people with mace, even though you can't do it in Iraq, but you can do it here...DO IT!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I guess my thought immediately came to, where do you feel like you want to draw the line? On one hand, the story told does say that if you had controlled that act you wouldn't have potentially lost your job (thank God you didn't though!) and financial stability over silly string... but the other part of the story is you are who you are, and you are quite the silly-string sort of guy.
    I don't know that I want to draw the line. Maybe I think I shouldn't have to? That's probably my default, but I know that if I do anything too taboo, I'll have to live with the consequences of my actions. Life is about two things: (1) choices, and (2) accountibility. What's taboo in one place, is acceptable in another. I think I'm just tired of having to keep my douchebag-oscope meter reading all the time, just to make sure I don't freak anybody out that already has their panties in a wad, and who could by some twist of fate put me ina an uncomprimising situation because they have authority, and a complex to wield it inappropriately because they had a shitty childhood.

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Where do you think having a bit of self-control on things like this is needed, and where do you think you'd stop being yourself if you held back too much? Or I suppose, even moreso.. How much of yourself do you have to hold back for the pro's of self-control outweigh the con's of having to be outside of yourself?
    Don't get me wrong, the situations as I described above are few and far between, especially since I am older, but they have happened. Factually, anything that is too damn much work, like having to keep tabs on the pros/cons of my self-control efforts is a major chore, bore, and party pooping activity. It seems to me that the whole damn world wants everyone to work their asses off, to death if need be, and not have too much fun about it, because if the client sees people having fun, when they are paying lots of money to have people everywhere working their asses off, then that's obviously a bad thing, and someone has to suffer for it.

    "Work hard, play hard!"

    Quote Originally Posted by nomadic View Post
    for me my impulses come while Im snowboarding.

    i've gone into caution tape areas, and gotten stuck for hours and fell off cliffs before. it just happens as I am in the groove boarding, and nothing else matters except for following the trail and the outline of the mountain.

    but when it comes to other things, i think i have pretty good self control. i've never had a bad crazy night of drinking where i lose it going mad and crazy, like i have seen practically everyone else i know do at least once.

    by now though, i no longer snowboard into caution tape areas.
    That's bad ass, Bro. I like your style.

    What the hell are you going to do now that you stopped snowboarding?

    Be careful!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    IT'S NOT AN ISSUE, IT'S AWESOME
    Dude! I know it is! But the situations it causes can be an issue!

    I obviously don't care enough to change significantly, as I am totally happy with myself, and just aware that I am not quite an "under the bell curve" type of person, I'm kind of looney.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    I'd like to say though, it's really cool to me that we have folks like you two posting here too, as these things are foreign concepts to me, and it's good to hear the takes of my "opposites" so to speak.
    Agreed, totally! They are different than us, and they are real, and they are HERE, talking to us about these things!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Ha, yes, but I have the opposite problem with being far too controlled. That's why you, and people like you, are so badass. What'd the world be without yall? Boooring.
    HAHAHHH!! Well jee-whillickers, what is one to say to that?
    You know, I wish it were an "I'm a bad ass" thing, but it's not, it's just the reactions of an overly anal retentive world of conservative douchebag-mongers taking out their own internal misery on the people that dare to be unconventional, and unpredictable.

    ------------------------

    In reality, I'm a hell of alot more cautious about shit now because I'm married and have two kids, and screwing up income and benefits at this point in my life would really piss Mrs. Halla off. But alas, I must be more than the family meal ticket. If I don't have a chance to cut loose and be a silly bastard from time to time, I get pissed, I get as bitvhy as an ESTP can get, which means I get bored, and then I go off and get into trouble.

    Soooooo, why can't the rest of the world just take a sphincter muscle relaxer and let that stick that's jammed waaaaaay up its ass fall out?

    Oh well, they will learn one day. All I know is that when I am old and gray, I am going to have the best damn stories on my floor of the nursing home. :yim_rolling_on_the_
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

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