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  1. #41
    Senior Member Nescio's Avatar
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    I don't keep a personal diary.
    But If I did, and someone else looked through it, I don't think I would care much.
    I might even ask their opinions on some things in the diary. soooo I guess it would be more like a blog in a book.

  2. #42
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I actually thought I work on my issues with, say 60% capacity, but your posts make me question this. It might as well be 20%... This has a lot to do with sacrifice... Maybe I'm not that committed after all...
    People can work through their issues without being direct in such a manner. I think i master being indirectly direct. My journal is my problem-analyzer/solver, but i analyze and solve as i go. It's not directed to other people, but it's there for them to ride along with me on if they desire to.
    It sounds like you may need a sort of sacrifice, whether it be becoming direct or simply accepting your indirectness. Either one would provide more efficiency. I'd certainly give positive reinforcement if you ever need it.

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    These are different kinds of benefits that you get from friends and family, and that you get from mental health. Of course good mental health would lead you to find another friends and another family if they all really deserted you, so... It isn't actually a sacrifice in the end. What is it then? Power? Security? I am secure since I am a well-liked person..? But after the sacrifice I would still be a well-liked person...
    The thing about this is that people aren't well-oiled machines. You can see what the course is that causes the most efficiency in yourself and who you know, but being a human with human thoughts causes the reluctance.
    I've yet to meet someone who is completely cold to whether or not they have to reevaluate their relationships based on their inner selves. You may end up well-liked for better reasons, but loss still remains. On the other hand, if you sacrifice and understanding/bonds become closer with some people you already know then you could say you've gained more than previously had.
    It's just risk and weighing the pros and cons is important.

    From personal experience - I had a best friend for 8 years, yet i walked on eggshells to not disrupt her and what she might not grasp about me. It took a minor first falling out and a complete misunderstanding of views to throw 8 years down the drain. Of course i have loss and of course i reassure myself of what i gained even now (2 years later), but what did i gain?
    Now i have a group of people where some understand, but those who don't can still accept. I am myself almost all of the time and it is far more efficient than what i had before (actually this just reassured me that i am far less isolated and i've needed that lately. Progress. Efficiency!).
    The biggest part, however, isn't about other people. It is completely about yourself. Other people are fickle and aren't always there. You are always there so do things to further personal growth.

  3. #43
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I don't keep one but I would feel the way I do if someone in my life were to snoop through my posts. I don't have much discretion when it comes to transferring my thought/feeling energy into posts, because it's mostly an exercise to me. Just as a child with a lot of energy would want to go play at recess, I have to respond to forum and real-life stimuli by posting. I suppose I would feel mortified because IRL I keep most of these responses to myself. I don't know why, I just do.

  4. #44
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    I tend to start filling notebooks and sort of, let them die on a shelf.
    So I don't know. I don't think I'd mind horribly as most of it is made of drawings representing some concept or another. And I doubt most people could understand the sort of code I use, as it's not meant to be read by someone else than me-which i never do-, hence I don't bother with the translation.

    years ago, I started writing a novel, my mother threw it away while 'cleaning my room'. I can put it aside, but I never got over it, It's like an old stab in my mind. Moments I wanted to keep alive, which i rarely do as most things just, fade into the holistic blur that is my brain.

    So, that's what I can say about it I guess.
    take care.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
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    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  5. #45
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    I'm putting my diary on TypeC. If anybody wants (or doesn't want) something to be published, just post it there.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ate-diary.html
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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    Blog. Read it, bitches.
    Questions? Click here
    If you don't agree about my MBTI type, you can complain about it here. I've had plenty of people telling me I'm something else, in my reputation box. That's annoying.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    It sounds like you may need a sort of sacrifice, whether it be becoming direct or simply accepting your indirectness. Either one would provide more efficiency. I'd certainly give positive reinforcement if you ever need it.
    I'm pretty much ok with the way things are, but I do feel that there is a change coming. I have been speaking my mind more than I used to, and I think I will continue doing so, just not through diary. It is too big leap for me. But things are in motion... You know how there are times when the analyzing is intensified? My current situation reminds me of my existential anxiety phase, but this time it is more positive. It seems like everything I've been talking about here and IRL lately has some common goal. It might even be positive that I am sleep-deprived and stressed out right now. I think about this stuff all the time now and I have been getting so much of these flashes of inspiration and insight... Difference between this situation and the anxiety is that now it seems everywhere I look there are open doors. In anxiety they are all closed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    The thing about this is that people aren't well-oiled machines. You can see what the course is that causes the most efficiency in yourself and who you know, but being a human with human thoughts causes the reluctance.
    Yes... Very true...

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    From personal experience - I had a best friend for 8 years, yet i walked on eggshells to not disrupt her and what she might not grasp about me. It took a minor first falling out and a complete misunderstanding of views to throw 8 years down the drain. Of course i have loss and of course i reassure myself of what i gained even now (2 years later), but what did i gain?
    Now i have a group of people where some understand, but those who don't can still accept. I am myself almost all of the time and it is far more efficient than what i had before (actually this just reassured me that i am far less isolated and i've needed that lately. Progress. Efficiency!).
    The biggest part, however, isn't about other people. It is completely about yourself. Other people are fickle and aren't always there. You are always there so do things to further personal growth.
    It's a cruel thing to say but sometimes friends do keep you down. But now you have a situation where you can in fact give more to people since there is more of you to give as you are not limited by your friend's expectations. So, what initially might seem like the prudent thing to do is actually bad for everyone involved. Everyone you know. I think one of the most important things to realize is that you really should choose your friends in completely selfish manner. If everyone did that the quality of friendships and the quality of life would be increased so much that I think it's not too much to say most of the psychological problems that plague the world would cease altogether (wow, did that sound ridiculously lofty ).

    One thing that popped up.. Do you think the people close to you might be censoring themselves as they know anything they say might go to your diary?

  7. #47
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I'm pretty much ok with the way things are, but I do feel that there is a change coming. I have been speaking my mind more than I used to, and I think I will continue doing so, just not through diary. It is too big leap for me. But things are in motion... You know how there are times when the analyzing is intensified? My current situation reminds me of my existential anxiety phase, but this time it is more positive. It seems like everything I've been talking about here and IRL lately has some common goal. It might even be positive that I am sleep-deprived and stressed out right now. I think about this stuff all the time now and I have been getting so much of these flashes of inspiration and insight... Difference between this situation and the anxiety is that now it seems everywhere I look there are open doors. In anxiety they are all closed.
    That's good in itself. It sounds like things may just come through as you go along, without really making a definitive decision.
    Have you had periods of positive-anxiety like this before? I'm curious as i've molded a lot of my anxiety into that over time, but i'm wondering how frequently that just happens without prompting.

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    It's a cruel thing to say but sometimes friends do keep you down. But now you have a situation where you can in fact give more to people since there is more of you to give as you are not limited by your friend's expectations. So, what initially might seem like the prudent thing to do is actually bad for everyone involved. Everyone you know. I think one of the most important things to realize is that you really should choose your friends in completely selfish manner. If everyone did that the quality of friendships and the quality of life would be increased so much that I think it's not too much to say most of the psychological problems that plague the world would cease altogether (wow, did that sound ridiculously lofty ).
    I don't find that cruel at all. It makes me feel like a bad ENFJ :p, but i know when and how i'm a good one. I'm not really picky regarding my acquaintances, but to really have my deep friendship takes a great understanding of what friendship really means. My life has been better based on that alone, but i'm still human so there's leeway here and there .
    I completely agree about the quality. Can you imagine that? It would be intense and is so unbelievably unlikely haha. Sometimes i think about if people were well-oiled machines and what we would accomplish then. It would be absolutely insane.

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    One thing that popped up.. Do you think the people close to you might be censoring themselves as they know anything they say might go to your diary?
    I think the only reason they would censor themselves is if they were going to share something disrespectful of me. Those are things i would write about, but any of my friends should know better than to be outright disrespectful or should know enough to discuss why they feel such a way (currently having an issue with one regarding that).
    Otherwise, i speak highly of my friends and make connections to differences or what i've learned from them.
    It definitely helps that none of my friends are too soft.

  8. #48
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    I've a handwritten diary, its bound to be dull, incoherent and uninteresting, if someone read it I'd be disappointed in them that they go around violating other peoples privacy, I self-censor to a certain extent or write, not necessarily in code, but make references which would only be significant to me.

    I try hard to not be an open book or divulge unnecessary details about how I feel or what I think, also a hell of a lot of people confide in me, so it goes in the book if its going anyplace. It's also got a lot of to do lists, song lists, other sorts of lists and notes so its not like a "loves and lusts" scandal sheet.

    All of which probably heavily disguises and personalises it, so there's no reason at all for anyone to read it, I dont flatter myself that anyone would, not in my own household and I dont take it and leave it any place, I keep it in my room.

    I only lost a diary once and it was a little embarrassing, not because there would be any detail in it but because there wouldnt have been, they'd have found a book with pages of discussing the weather and one flight to Edinburgh. It would have got binned or they'd have torn the pages out and kept their own notes.

  9. #49
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    What I would say is that I've found old diaries or notes or stuff and I've always wanted to and in some cases have destroyed them by fire, I hate my handwritting, lack of maturity, views, values or other elements of the narrative.

    Its often about as welcome or as pleasant as that bad memory which you cant get to go away, you may not recollect details, names, places, times, background or anything like that but you recall something you did which was disgraceful or embarrassing.

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    Have you had periods of positive-anxiety like this before? I'm curious as i've molded a lot of my anxiety into that over time, but i'm wondering how frequently that just happens without prompting.
    I can't remember... If I have, maybe I just haven't paid attention to it. After the anxiety died off it's been increasingly calm for years, except for now. But I am in a situation that is or can be one of those moments to shape my future, so it might have triggered the anxiety that was changed into this positive anxiety. But it was for only one day. If it was anxiety, I'm glad, because this calmness was making me feel ... I don't know, too calm, maybe. It's like the people who are given anti-depressants, some of them don't like how they are calm. It's good to be something more than content from time to time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    I completely agree about the quality. Can you imagine that? It would be intense and is so unbelievably unlikely haha. Sometimes i think about if people were well-oiled machines and what we would accomplish then. It would be absolutely insane.
    Can I imagine, no... It would be such a different world. But I think this description gets close:

    Quote Originally Posted by Lennon
    Imagine there's no countries
    It isn't hard to do
    Nothing to kill or die for
    And no religion too
    Imagine all the people
    Living life in peace

    You may say that I'm a dreamer
    But I'm not the only one
    I hope someday you'll join us
    And the world will be as one

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