“I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
― Georgia O'Keeffe
Hmm. I know what you mean about being stressed about goals. I was stressed about my goals for years. Then, I got to where I wanted to get. Now, 31, I'm stressing about not having any direction anymore. I'm thinking of going into real estate now.
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
I don't know that I believe that time spent always means time wasted. I'm getting closer to 30, and my perspective and character have been shaped so much by the past 8 years that have been seemingly unproductive (afa my "big" goals are concerned). But those years have been invaluable in making me the kind of person who has enough substance to even attempt something I feel is meaningful.
I think who I become is starting to be more important to me than what I accomplish.
when i was 18 i saw someone growing a variety of sprouts in pots in their kitchen. i thought this is my goal, to grow lovely sprouts like this and just live such a healthy life. at that moment i reflected i wished i were already 42 for something i didn't like about myself at 18. all because of sprouts i didn't think possible. now, i know how to go about growing them but i have no desire anymore. my real passion is to live happily as an individual without dependance on others more or less. of course i need people around me, a support network, but really what i want is to have a sense of autonomy with love. maybe then i can go on to other things greater than being selfish.
I remember as a teenager people thinking they were old in their mid-twenties. It occurred to me how crazy it is to spend almost an entire lifetime feeling old.
For that reason I've enjoyed every age that I've been. I'm also determined to be a reasonably healthy centenarian one day, so I shift all my assumptions about my future by at least three decades. I'm going to be an awesome little old lady who plays jazz organ and has motorized buggies that ride up and down a spiral ramp alongside the outer walls of our dome home.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
As for goals, do what you gotta do. Don't let the failures, pessism, doubt, negativity, of others put you down. That's always a test of your will and determination, remember that. Should something bad happen in the future on it being a waste of time, unproductive, stressful, or too harsh, or should something amazing, freat and life-changing come out of it one thing still rings true for both paths, you don't fucking know what will happen if you give up or make excuses on the way. It's okay to reassess why you're doing such things in the first place, but already waving a white flag before you leave the house is like Christopher Columbus having cold feet and retreating to go with the flow and herd sheep like everyone else, and if he didn't have that goal to explore the sea, then there'd be no such thing as the Americas, none of us would be having a nice little typology forum here having this discussion hosted by some server somewhere.
So much for "goals" huh?
The best way that has always kept me on track was having that "ultimate" goal. For example, most people want wealth, or happiness, but why? There should be an ulterior goal that overrides that, yet compliment the rest. Usually all goals have something in common; your purpose. That's it. And usually that ultimate goal/purpose doesn't have some imaginary finish line. It just is, this is why most people realize this later on in life; goals are just the icing on the cake not the destination. However what good is a cake without icing on it? You can have a spectacular cake, or an normal cake.