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View Poll Results: do you feel you have fulfilled your parents' expectations/wishes?

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37. You may not vote on this poll
  • yes, almost 100% !

    6 16.22%
  • pretty good,..about 70%-80% of 'em!

    14 37.84%
  • not really,..only about 30%-40% only!

    6 16.22%
  • still not, or perhaps never will! it's just damn hard!..

    11 29.73%
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  1. #31
    Priestess Of Syrinx Katsuni's Avatar
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    I never met the expectations of me. I doubt I ever will. I don't particularly want to either for that matter.

    My parent's goals and expectations of me rely pretty much solely upon making money at any cost, regardless of anything else sacrificed. Who cares if yeu hate yeur job, yeur life, yeu die alone, miserable, and loathed, as long as yeu have lots of money it's all good! ...right?

    I completely disagree with the ideology, and view money as merely a means to my ends. I want to enjoy myself in life more than anything else, all things such as love and entertainment stems from this. Yeu can find enjoyment on a budget, as yeu can while rich. Money doesn't make 'fun' happen, it just opens the access to different types of fun. I've done alot of mountain skiing, it's great fun. The freezing cold and often pain afterwards is not so fun. A skiing trip costs alot of money for a day or two trip... I could buy ALOT of video games I'd have just as much fun with on the same budget, and they'd last far longer than a day or two.

    Does that mean I'll never ski? No, it just means I won't really care if I don't get to, it's fun, but it requires alot of money to do it, and it's not really any 'better' than whot I do now, it's just 'different'.

    Whot I'm doing now my parents would HATE if they knew I was going to an art college for video game design... but I rather enjoy it. I've been taking to it with great zeal and enjoy the work. Sure there'll be long hours and days of total SUCK, same with any other job, but I can feel accomplished in the end, show my stuff off and be proud of it, and know I made something that I can enjoy, and that I can share with friends.

    That and the whole modeling thing really is pretty fun. Even after making like my 5th penguin, and going back to like the second one made and blowing a few hours straight on it today cleaning up the model in monotonous labour... I actually liked doing it. Even though pretty much everyone, even the instructors, were saying I was going to learn to hate that quickly XD

    I don't mind repetitive tasks so long as there's creativity in each; an example given in one class was that for one of the GTA games, there was a group of designers tasked with... garbage. Nothing but garbage. Every single day, garbage. Garbage bags, pop cans, tinfoil wrappers, chip bags, etc, day in and day out, for several months straight.

    And yeu know whot? I'd actually have fun doing that. Every piece would be perfected, each one a new challange to overcome, each design a new idea to show off even if it's something small and overlooked; but that's the POINT... good garbage and props and side things yeu SHOULDN'T notice... yeu only notice them when they're done BAD.

    But that's the thing, I will enjoy my life doing such. I will probably eventually make 6 figures, which's descent for the line of work. Honestly if I didn't make 7 though I'd be considered a failure, so go figure. Sigh.

    Well whot can yeu do. Some expectations aren't worth trying to match. Yeu just have to learn that sometimes, people are stupid. Even if they're related to yeu. Respecting yeur elders, and yeur parents, requires them to deserve that respect in the first place.

  2. #32
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katsuni View Post
    cut
    You don't need a 7-figures salary to ski btw, that's a bit of an overblown comparison. Actually usually if somebody is making 7-figures he won't have much free time.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  3. #33
    Senior Member Dooraven's Avatar
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    I can't really vote on this poll as I'm still in high school (bah) but my parents are typical Asians/Indians who want me to get a high paying job like a Doctor/Lawyer/Engineer. Sometimes I do agree with their decision (ie I like the sciences and love Biology especially diseases and cures) but other times I wish I could rebel and choose my own pathway and not be constrained by their limits.
    INTp (MBTI)
    LII (Socionics) but typed as ILI as well
    5 wing 6
    Ti > Ni > Si > Ne > Te > Fi > Se > Fe

  4. #34
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I don't think i have fulfilled my parents expectations .. And i don't really care .. My life and i am living it on my terms .. I know my potential and i don't need any added pressure from them.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #35
    Priestess Of Syrinx Katsuni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    You don't need a 7-figures salary to ski btw, that's a bit of an overblown comparison. Actually usually if somebody is making 7-figures he won't have much free time.
    Sorry I wasn't relating those two things together as one necessitates the other =3

  6. #36
    Mud and rain and chaos... TickTock's Avatar
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    I don't think my parents even know what I want to do and am working towards. But I know friends who have had some pressure, even if only mild - get a degree, make some money, have a family. And they have checked things off as they go along, but I sense when we talk that they really want other things, only other possibilities were never an option. It really is liberating to feel so free and I know it is shared by a minority, so many people can't see an alternative to the standard expectations. But what's it all for when you think about it? Working all your life, then only being free in retirement - when it's too late. As a child you had freedoms, creativity, curiosity and wonder, humor and little stress. Why give that up?
    ~ Truth ~ Freedom ~ Health ~ Love ~ Communication ~ Humor ~ Respect ~

  7. #37
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    While they have always been there to offer support, they've always just kind of left me alone to do whatever I wanted with my life. If they are proud of me, it's probably because of who I am as a person and not because of anything that I've accomplished.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niki View Post
    how many of you here feel that you have fulfilled your parents' expectations?
    ...or perhaps to the contrary, do many of you feel that you often made them sort of 'dissapointed' in you, & what you chose to do/want in life?

    this could mean many things, such as:
    1- you took the uni Major/Degree that your parents want, with the results that your parents also want
    2- later on, you worked on a job/field that your parents want, with the results that your parents also want
    3- or, you're married, have kids, according to parents' expectations/wishes

    or,
    do you rather feel that,
    the more 'mature' we are, the more we grow into an Adult,
    the reality seems to be we dissapoint our parents much more, than we fulfill/satisfy their expectations/wishes ?

    and is it particularly much more difficult for NFs , or SPs type,
    to satisfy/fulfill their parents' wishes?..

    what do you guys think on this issue?
    let's discuss!
    Even before opening this thread, I knew it'd be an Asian asking this question.

    The mentality goes something like this:

    Kids = greatest investment.

    Hence, expectation for maximizing payoff of that investment.

    (generalization...but it has some truths; I'm S.Asian).

    (1) My family (dad's & mom's sides) are really big on education. It has repercussions beyond just what my parents think. It's greater family expectations, where no parent wants to be the first to not have their child meet the expectations of the "family". They're quite elitist about it. Having an undergrad degree is "nothing special" to them, it's like passing highschool, a given/an expectation. There's no ifs, ands or butts about it. Every one of us cousins has an undergrad degree, as do all of my uncles, aunts, etc., at minimum.

    So, the 'real competition/honour' starts when cousins could one-up in terms of the fancy degrees. Doctor, you're ONLY a GP, I'm a cardiologist, no, lawyer, no, PhD. Psst, PhD in Literature? I'm a PhD in Astrophysics. :rolli: Duke it out. I took myself out of that rat-race a long time ago.

    I'm expected to do a PhD because my mother has a PhD. It was quite a scene breaking it to them that I'm (almost) done school and want to start work. It crushed them imagining myself to *only have a Masters*, but, I gave rationalizations of how I saw my life unfolding, and challenged them to give counters of how any of what I expect from my life will be hindered if I didn't have a PhD. And, there's a few of us like this, us cousins. So, our generation has definitely tested their notions and expectations.

    (2) & (3), in sequence of life goals, comes later than (1) so once I broke the mold for (1) and put my foot down on living other's visions of me.....they've been more open-minded to their expectations of (2) & (3).

  9. #39
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    My mother wanted me to be happy.

    I failed, because I need a job to be happy and I can't get one.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Dooraven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Even before opening this thread, I knew it'd be an Asian asking this question.

    The mentality goes something like this:

    Kids = greatest investment.

    Hence, expectation for maximizing payoff of that investment.

    (generalization...but it has some truths; I'm S.Asian).

    (1) My family (dad's & mom's sides) are really big on education. It has repercussions beyond just what my parents think. It's greater family expectations, where no parent wants to be the first to not have their child meet the expectations of the "family". They're quite elitist about it. Having an undergrad degree is "nothing special" to them, it's like passing highschool, a given/an expectation. There's no ifs, ands or butts about it. Every one of us cousins has an undergrad degree, as do all of my uncles, aunts, etc., at minimum.

    So, the 'real competition/honour' starts when cousins could one-up in terms of the fancy degrees. Doctor, you're ONLY a GP, I'm a cardiologist, no, lawyer, no, PhD. Psst, PhD in Literature? I'm a PhD in Astrophysics. :rolli: Duke it out. I took myself out of that rat-race a long time ago.

    I'm expected to do a PhD because my mother has a PhD. It was quite a scene breaking it to them that I'm (almost) done school and want to start work. It crushed them imagining myself to *only have a Masters*, but, I gave rationalizations of how I saw my life unfolding, and challenged them to give counters of how any of what I expect from my life will be hindered if I didn't have a PhD. And, there's a few of us like this, us cousins. So, our generation has definitely tested their notions and expectations.

    (2) & (3), in sequence of life goals, comes later than (1) so once I broke the mold for (1) and put my foot down on living other's visions of me.....they've been more open-minded to their expectations of (2) & (3).
    Yeah this sums up pretty nicely what family is. Everyone is educated to a very high level - none in art as they really don't see it as a substantial degree at all.
    INTp (MBTI)
    LII (Socionics) but typed as ILI as well
    5 wing 6
    Ti > Ni > Si > Ne > Te > Fi > Se > Fe

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