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View Poll Results: do you feel you have fulfilled your parents' expectations/wishes?

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  • yes, almost 100% !

    6 16.22%
  • pretty good,..about 70%-80% of 'em!

    14 37.84%
  • not really,..only about 30%-40% only!

    6 16.22%
  • still not, or perhaps never will! it's just damn hard!..

    11 29.73%
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  1. #21
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    I would say I have met my parents expectations 100%.

    At the same time I have let them down in some ways. But, most of these letdowns, stemmed from me realizing that what my parents wanted for me, and what I wanted for myself might be two completely different things.

    For instance, my recent decision to go into politics (eventually) was not influenced by my parents at all. My dad would prefer that I stayed in Law so as to draw less attention to myself.

    My dad has learned to ease up a little and let me do my own thing these days though.

  2. #22
    Member Eowyn's Avatar
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    My parents wanted me to go to college, go to grad school, become a doctor or lawyer, and then get married and have kids.

    I got married, finished an Associate's degree, worked a piddly job, and had kids. I now have a job I love, that wasn't even on the radar at the time (I'm a doula), and my other job is a Montessori preschool teacher.

    They're not exactly disappointed, but I think their idea of high aspirations are different from mine.
    "Every well-bred petty crook knows -- the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting."
    -Inara Serra

  3. #23
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    My Parents were murdered. I live with my aunt and uncle and my evil cousin, Dudley. But for the most part, I live up to their expectations. They don't have any, so it works out. Except that one time at the zoo- the incident with the snake..Bad News.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    My Parents were murdered. I live with my aunt and uncle and my evil cousin, Dudley. But for the most part, I live up to their expectations. They don't have any, so it works out. Except that one time at the zoo- the incident with the snake..Bad News.
    Ok, Harry.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Ok, Harry.
    I'm only Harry if you're Ginny.

    (this is SO not a proposal )
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  6. #26
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    1) I'm happy with my life
    2) I'm married to a good man
    3) I'm a working teacher
    4) I've written a book and a half

    not 1) I'm not organised

  7. #27
    Senior Member One Day's Avatar
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    I'm not exactly sure what my parents expectations were. I guess they had some basic goals for me like graduating high school and attending some sort of college but after that I'm pretty much on my own.

  8. #28
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    My dad just wants me to stay in college until I get my associate's degree, so yes I am.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #29
    Senior Member niki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I haven't met the expectations of my mother or father. This is interesting as I loved both of them and they loved me.

    And it's also interesting as I am a good boy and almost always did what was wanted.

    And not meeting their expectations did damage my self esteem. However it also forced me back on my own resources. And whereas I lost self esteem, I gained self respect.

    But most of all, I have been able to follow my own heart. And my heart has not led me onto the highway of life but rather into the side roads and byways, and often off the road altogether and into the fields.

    And it has seemed to me that the highway is busy and noisy while the fields and the bush are simply beautiful.

    And where they are always rushed for time on the highway, I am rich in time. And rather than being an enemy, time is my friend.

    You see, I have time for you. And I have time to do what I want.


    I do have a cousin, Stephen, who is similar to me in ability and social background. And he did meet his parents' expectations. And he was very successful on the highway of life and met the expectations of his father and mother. But every now and then he would ring me and say, "Victor, you're interested in psychology, what do you think of this?". And strangely enough I never realised he was asking for help for I always thought of him of being capable and confident while I was the dependent one.

    But all the time he was meeting his parents' expectations he was drinking himself to death and ruining his family life. And he never got the help he wanted.

    And without help he was helplessly tied to his parents' expectations. And he was helplessly tied to the self esteem they provided. He was hooked on self esteem and never discovered himself or his self respect.
    Victor, I really love what you've write there, especially the bolded sentences.
    thanks for sharing this with me,
    it really opens up a new perspective,
    and makes me realize that there's really nothing wrong, to discover myself, be true to myself, and that there's nothing wrong by "living in the fields" , just like you said!
    Life is really all about choices, and making the choice.

  10. #30
    Senior Member sofmarhof's Avatar
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    My parents always said, "You can be anything you want to be! We will support you in whatever you want! Find your true calling!"

    I feel like this was not 100% honest. I have a little feeling that what they meant by "anything" was really "anything that will impress people". Barbie careers: doctor, lawyer, artist, teacher, fashion designer... the what doesn't matter, but it has to be glamorous. My parents are the worst offenders with living vicariously through their children.

    So when I turn out to entirely discount the idea of a "calling", to not have any one thing I'm passionate about, it ends up being the one way I disappointed them. I probably chose it because it was the one path to rebellion left to me.

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